A few bits of cuteness in form of forwards...
I'm sure you've all heard me go on about how I get 10,000 forwards every week from my Aunt Gail and other sources - but this week, I got 2 good ones that I'm willing to share with the world. :-)
I'm leaving the first one out of an LJ-cut because you HAVE to read it. It's sure to make you smile.
"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get pissed off at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey 'Man, just be yourself. I already like you, little brother. You do not need to emulate the other animals. I used to draw you.' (Stares at hand.)
--Mitch Hedberg
Monday
Wash Day
Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead.
Tuesday
Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice I have collected though the years so that I may see the beauty in others.
Wednesday
Mending Day
O God, help me mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others.
Thursday
Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.
Friday
Shopping Day
O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love.
Saturday
Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it
with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.
Sunday
The Lord's Day
O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart so I day spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.
I'm leaving the first one out of an LJ-cut because you HAVE to read it. It's sure to make you smile.
"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get pissed off at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey 'Man, just be yourself. I already like you, little brother. You do not need to emulate the other animals. I used to draw you.' (Stares at hand.)
--Mitch Hedberg
Monday
Wash Day
Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead.
Tuesday
Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles of prejudice I have collected though the years so that I may see the beauty in others.
Wednesday
Mending Day
O God, help me mend my ways so I will not set a bad example for others.
Thursday
Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.
Friday
Shopping Day
O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love.
Saturday
Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it
with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.
Sunday
The Lord's Day
O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart so I day spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.