(no subject)
the times we used to play about, the way we used to scream and shout i never thought u would go ur own sweet way. i cant stand the pain and i cant make it go away, how could this happem to me i made my mistakes got no where to run the night goes on as i faded away im sick of this life i just want to scream how could this happen to me... i cant tak the ain of losing a brother.. i sat on my bed tonight holding a razor crying and shaking while looking at his last pic he had got taken.. i dont know wut got into me but i felt out of control i couldnt control my actons. i wanted to so bad but droped hte razor and just layed on my bed crying and shaking.. i dont know wut to do this hurts way to much.. then my bf goes on how he lost his pride.. well guess wut pride comes bk a brother doesnt!! i just want to hear someone walking in the door yelling GOT CHA then looking and seeing my brothers smiling face as it always has been and see him home again or have those fights over the computer after school.. he wasnt even here to take me to the zoo on my 16th bday.. he promised me!!! i cantstop shaking and crying . i cant stand this pain im not used to having my life this way. it was always joyful and giddy and all about living it up.. now it seems nothing is fun nemore without liquar or weed... i need help.. maybe samuel was right alone time ago i need a shrink.. i got seriosu issues.. icant talk about it to my parents.. it will hurt them too to see me like this i cant talk to my friends cuz they dont understand they just look at me and say sorry.. wuts sorry going to do?! unless it bring bk mybrother then i dont want to here no pitty sorry.. wow 2005.. really suckes.. i cant wait for the year after and the next year after that.. YAY!!! *sarcasm* fuk this shit!!
p.s no im not high or drunk...for once.. hah
p.s no im not high or drunk...for once.. hah