(no subject)
Title: The Secret Diaries of Jon Snow & Robb Stark, Aged 16 ¼
Authors: rachel2205 and outboxed
Rating: R
Summary: What if Robb and Jon had livejournals? In 21st century Britain? And some of the other ASOIAF gang did, too? I think this can be safely classed as crackfic. Light Jon/Robb content. Warnings for alcohol and drug use and lots of teenage angst!
Part: 4/4 - Part 1 is here, Part 2 here, Part 3 here.
Wordcount: This chapter: 3000ish
Disclaimer: Based on the HBO show rather than the books. Loosely. We own nothing, and no one on HBO would want to lay claim to this. XD We have nothing to do with George R R Martin.
Notes: Icons for this chapter by: hollow-art, thepurplelily, utterlyindecent, visionsbeyond, readmethesigns, ayyur, lcacbc & fanpop. Best viewed in the livejournal standard layout - if your journal style forces your layout on your flist I can't guarantee the formatting will show correctly! We have used fanon regarding Jon's birth to fudge the incest question a little in order to make this at least vaguely plausible for modern Britain.
This is the final installment of this crazy journey! Thanks so much for joining us. Your feedback is very much appreciated, particularly with this last chapter. (Yes, I am a feedback whore, what of it?)
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-09 04:22:34
[Privacy] Friends only
sorry we ruined your party Jeyne! still a bit drunk but updating now so i don’t forget lol I don’t actually know what happened. I think it started because Jon saw theon and Ros together and went over and said sorry to Theon because he kissed Ros while they were having that big fight last week. Because aparently Jon kissed Ros. I think I was talking to Jeyne when this happened. anyway Theon was shouting like “you fucking snogged my girlfriend” or soemthing so i went over and saw it was Jon he was yelling at and then Theon punched jon in the face so I punched Theon in the face. And then i thought that maybe i punched the wrong person because Theon punched jon but then Jon was the one who kissed Ros and I looked at Ros and I think i must have shouted “you snogged my boyfriend” at her and then Jon said “yeah I did” like it was no big deal so I turned around and punched him and he punched back. it was so fucking ridiculous. and Ros was like frowning and said “so he’s your boyfriend now is he?” in this really snide tone like I was the one who’d pushed JON away to start with. And then Theon looked at me like I was some kind of alien and said “you’re gay” and I started to say I wasnt but Jon was like grabbing my shirt but in this sort of clingy way not violent at all and he said “am I your boyfriend” and I said yes or i think i did. maybe i said i hope so. god, i fucking hope so.
Anyway Jon was like holding on to me and he said i love you. He actually said I love you and then he took two steps backwards and fell straight into this duck pond that I hadn’t even realised was there. It wasn’t a very big duck pond but me and theon both had to pull him out. i don’t actually know why Theon helped. then we went home because Jon was soaking wet and covered in duckweed. i’m covered in duckweed too though. Maybe because we walked so close together on the way home. I think he had his arm around me. Jon’s in the shower now. I told him i’d meet him in the lounge at 4;30 to watch cartoons. maybe I should shower too. Anwyway i had to write this while i remember everything because i dont want it to be like last time you know
ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVE JON OKAY AND THIS IS GOING TO BE AMASZING AND I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK IT UP.
[0 comments]
Robb(lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-09 12:41:54
[Privacy] Friends only
Just reread last night’s update. I’m impressed that any of it makes sense to be honest but I really wasn’t that drunk.
Things went really well after that as well. We mostly just kissed and stuff but it was nice and how it should be because we know where we stand now and that we want this and we’re going to make it work.
It did get ruined a bit this morning though when mum found us asleep on the sofa downstairs. We were t-shirts and boxers so it didn’t look that weird. Although I was sort of lying like half on top of him and stuff. Mum yelled “what on earth do you think you’re doing? Explain yourselves.” which makes it sound like she thought there was something going on but she probably didn‘t. She might just have been annoyed that we were passed out on the sofa. She normally yells like that when that sort of thing happens.
Anyway, I think I said “shhh, Jon’s sleeping” because I was barely awake and mum just looked at me sternly until I cracked and said “I don’t care what you say. I love him and it’s not his fault.” Bad idea I know. So she hauled me into the kitchen and made me explain myself. I did an appalling job of it and Jon came in halfway through still looking half asleep with his hair all messed up and all surprised. Apparently dad’s going to talk to us about this when he gets home. I don’t know whether I should be glad that my dad loves work so much he goes there on Saturdays right now. I am scared, I’d be mad if I wasn’t but mostly I just want to get it over with because nothing he says is going to change anything. Whatever this thing with me and Jon is, it is happening. I don’t care what anyone wants to say about it.
3 comments:
princessofflowers: yes! you tell em! so glad you n jon have worked it out!
plainjeyne: Good luck, I guess. By the way, my dad is really mad about the duck pond thing. You really ruined the grass around it when you pulled Jon out - or maybe Jon ruined it when he fell in, hard to say. I’ve told him it was an accident but we’ll see! Guess you’re not the only one with dad problems.
olyvar: Good luck!
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-09 23:15:45
[Privacy] Friends Only
So everything’s fucked up.
Like, completely.
And I have to go and stay with Uncle Benjen in Heddon-on-the-Wall which is this village near Newcastle and it’s miles away from here and from Robb. Dad said all this stuff about how it’d be good for me to have a change of scene and I can volunteer on Uncle Benjen’s dig at Hadrian’s Wall and I just wanted to hit him. And Cate. And everyone except Robb. And even Robb a bit because if I didn’t care about him I wouldn’t feel like such a freak.
Basically, this.
Robb, I love you. Shit. This is such a mess.
3 comments:
lovely_loras: omg, bb, I’m really worried about you! I’m sure you and Robb will work it out, you’re like my real life otp.
dany_stormborn: Ok I’m really mad on your behalf now! I don’t normally get mad but now they’ve woken the dragon! Oh also I really love that song!!
_craven_sam: Mate, I’m still trying to process the fact that you’re in love with Robb, but anyway, I support you in everything, alright? You’re not a freak. Or if you are, you’re in good company.
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-10 13:25:34
[Privacy] Public
On the train to Newcastle. Numb.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone
1 comment:
starkers: I can’t believe they made you leave! I told you that they couldn’t make you go. I should have stopped them. Fuck. I love you. I don’t know why they think separating us will change anything.
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-10 14:01:35
[Privacy] Custom friends group: not!Theon
Shit. Jon’s gone. Dad drove him to the station an hour ago. This is all happening so fast, I thought we‘d have some time together but now he’s gone. I know it’s not like we’re not going to see each other again. I’d never let that happen. And I think it’s just meant to be for the summer but I just don’t know what to do. He gave me this mix CD and a letter he’d written which had his lj username on and stuff so we can keep in touch. I followed him out when they were about to leave and we just walked to the car together. We were just talking, making jokes about Jon picking up Benjen’s fashion sense and saying I’d look after the others and everything like it was nothing. We hugged goodbye and, shit, it was just so hard to let go. Mum and dad were just staring at us like me hugging him was some kind of crime and Sansa, Bran and Rickon were all watching out of the window. I don’t know how much they know about what’s going on.
It’s stupid but I just don’t know what I’m going to do without him. Jon’s always been there and it wasn’t always like this but it was always me and Jon. Even at times when we barely talked I knew he had my back and now he’s gone to the fag-end of nowhere near Newcastle and it’s all my fucking fault. I should never have kissed him. I just need him here and, fuck, I can’t let it stay like this.
2 Comments:
princessofflowers: it’s so cruel of them to split you up! you should go after him! never let go of your man! i love that he made you a mix.<3 do you guys have a song? loras and renly have one. it’s so cute!
oh and are sansa, bran and rickon your siblings? i’ve got 3 brothers and i thought that was a lot but your family must be bigger since you have jon living with you too.
Starkers: Thanks Margaery. And yeah we’re a big family. I have another sister too but she wasn’t there. I think Jon went to say goodbye to her specially. She says he bequeathed her his Xbox.
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-10 22:41:22
[Privacy] Custom friends group: not!Theon
Dad just came upstairs to talk to me again. I was in Jon’s room, listening to that mix he gave me, trying to think what to do next.
Everyone just seems to want to talk to me today. Bran was up here earlier, trying to be nice. He’s only 10 and he has no idea what this is all really about. He just said that he knew I was sad about Jon but that it wasn’t forever and that we could always text each other and stuff. Plus, he’s always wanted to visit Benjen and see Hadrian’s Wall and maybe we should all go visit him together. At least Bran was being nice about it all.
Dad, on the other hand, just gave me basically the same talk as last night. “We raised you as brothers” / “I don’t know what you think you’re doing” / “Jon’s a good lad but…” I don’t know whether he’s more outraged because of the gay thing or the related-by-blood thing. Shit. I thought he’d be understanding. I mean, mum’s a lost cause but dad is solid. He can be strict but he really does just want us all to be happy and he’s always been awesome to Jon. He tried to make me feel better by telling me I could shadow Jory at the office if I was still interested in getting involved in the business. I don’t know why everyone seems to think that this is just going to go away.
[0 comments]
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-12 19:26:54
[Privacy] Friends only
Sorry for not updating. Uncle Benjen only has dial-up. Seriously. I didn’t even know people still used dial-up unless they live in, I don’t know, Africa. Uncle Benjen also makes a big deal about not having a TV, which I don’t care about, and there not even being mobile signal here, which I do. I really want to text Robb but I can’t. Uncle Benjen let me call him on the landline last night but he just sat in the same room so I couldn’t say anything real.
So basically what I’ve been doing is working at Uncle Benjen’s dig during the day - which actually means mostly making tea since they won’t let me do anything technical - and in the evening reading these old poetry books he has in the spare bedroom.
Star of love's soft interviews,
Parted lovers on thee muse.
Their remembrancer in heaven
Of thrilling vows thou art,
Too delicious to be riven
By absence from the heart.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. I mean, more than usual. Robb’s always said I think too much and he’s probably right. It’s weird, though. Can’t think of the last time we spent more than a day apart. It’s always been him and me, doing things together. Even the last few years when we’ve had different mates at school, we’d still see each other. Still start my day having breakfast with him.
Uncle Benjen’s not the type to pry, so he hasn’t asked about Robb. He did talk a bit about Cate last night, though. Was interesting, cos Dad never explains anything about the past to us. He was saying how Cate was really ill after Robb was born - postpartum depression or whatever - and she didn’t think it was fair for Dad to bring me back to live with them when she already had that to deal with. And Dad gave her an ultimatum - I could stay or he would leave. Made me feel a bit bad for her for once, though I still think she’s a real bitch sometimes. Sorry, Robb. I know she’s your Mum. Maybe I should be glad, cos Dad always wanted me to call him Dad, and he wanted Cate to be my Mum, but she didn’t. And if she had, maybe I’d’ve felt like Robb’s brother, and I wouldn’t love him like this. I dunno. Maybe that would’ve been healthier, cos what I feel now hurts.
I just wish I could see him.
2 comments:
_craven_sam: Really relieved, mate, cos I was worried when you didn’t reply to my texts. I’ll email you, alright?
lovely_loras: :( :( Thinking of you, bb!
Robb(lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-12 23:03:51
[Privacy] Custom friends group: not!Theon
I think I may actually have cracked. I posted Jon my favourite hoodie today. I don’t know why I did it. This whole separation has been about 10x worse than I ever imagined though. They don’t have phone reception where Jon is and they barely even have internet. It’s ridiculous. And when he called on Benjen’s landline yesterday everything was so different.
I feel stupid but I really just want to get on the train and BRING HIM HOME.
1 comment:
princessofflowers: DO IT!
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-13 00:07:45
[Privacy] Friends only
Just booked a Megabus ticket. Leaves from the bus station at 2:45. Wish me luck!
2 comments:
thebull: You’re nuts, mate. Good luck with it though.
princessofflowers: go get him! and tell us all about it when you get back! i think this is even more romantic than when loras punched someone for insulting renly’s scarf!
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-13 11:48:02
[Privacy] Public
In an internet café in Heddon-on-the-Wall. Journey was a fucking nightmare. Bus got in late, just after 6am, and then the people at the bus station took forever to work out how I could get from there to Heddon even though it’s supposed to be fucking simple. The first guy was saying I ought to take the metro then the train then the bus but then some other guy came along and said that it was way easier than that and checked their schedule and said if I waited five more minutes then I could get there by just taking two buses. Then they argued about which would take longer before they actually gave me any directions. I took the two buses in the end and had to wait for half an hour in the rain at a bus stop with no shelter for the second bus to show up. It was 7:30 by the time it did and it all felt incredibly stupid.
I got to Heddon at 8 but realised I had no fucking idea where Benjen’s road was so wandered around for ages. I spotted this place early on but it wasn’t open til 9 so I came back after that and asked them. It seems to be the only hub of civilisation in the place. It’s sort of a post office/general store with a café and a couple of ancient PCs in one corner. They gave me directions to Benjen’s and I found it and then I just sat outside for ages.
The postman showed up about 10am with the post, including the hoodie I posted to Jon yesterday. The postman was willing to give it to me for some reason. I guess people in small towns are trusting like that and I was able to tell him who it was addressed to and what the sender‘s address was. I’m wearing the hoodie under my jacket now and I’m actually really glad to have it. It’s fucking cold and it’s still raining.
Anyway I was bloody starving so I decided to come back here and buy food after I waited outside Benjen’s for a while. I’ll probably go back in a bit though in case they come home for lunch. I doubt they will but you never know. Might try the pub after that but I really just want to sleep.
I thought this would all just work out when I got here but now I’m not so sure. What if Jon won’t come home with me? Fuck.
3 comments:
grey_joyinmypants: this is fucking hilarious! i can’t believe you went to buttfuck nowhere in the middle of the night to go and rescue jon fucking snow from life without your cock! that’s hardcore fucking sad man!
princessofflowers: it’ll all be worth it when you see him, you know it will!
plainjeyne: You accidentally posted this as a public entry. I’ve only just seen this and your other posts - you probably should have planned this out before you went. I hope your trip doesn’t end up being a total waste. Try to sleep if you can.
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-31 12:26:54
[Privacy] Friends only
It’s been a long time since I posted. Sorry about that, cos I know I’ve worried people. There’s been so much going on, and then the other day when I tried to get online LJ wouldn’t load at all, just kept getting error messages.
Anyway.
Two weeks ago Uncle Benjen got a call at work from Dad asking if Robb was with us, cos when they’d woken up that morning Robb wasn’t there. They’d looked at his browser history and found Megabus on there, so they guessed where he might have gone. So Uncle Benjen and I got in the car and drove back to his place. My heart was pounding the whole way. And - he was there, asleep on Benjen’s doorstep, which is just ridiculous and I felt like I was going to - I dunno, throw up or something because I was so excited and freaked out and just ... overwhelmed I suppose. I practically fell out of the car and he saw me and stood up, and I thought about all those stupid romantic comedies where the guy waits in the rain for the girl or whatever and there’s the rising music and the slow panning camera shot, and I know it’s lame but it was like that. He just said “Snow,” and I said “Stark”, and then he hugged me and I couldn’t stop shaking. Uncle Benjen was just standing by the garden gate all this time just watching us, and then he nodded like he’d got an answer to a question and told Robb to come inside and have a cup of tea.
Course, he called Dad as well, and amazingly he took the day off work and drove up with Cate. That was really horrible, cos Cate screamed at us both, and then she cried, and, yeah. We said some pretty bad stuff. And Dad just stood there, and I was pissed off with him cos he never stands up for me, and in the end it was Uncle Benjen who got everyone calmed down the way he does, somehow. Magic.
He came up with the idea that Robb and I should stay here for the rest of the summer hols. Volunteer on his dig - earn our keep, he said, cos Uncle Benjen’s like Dad, they don’t believe in getting things you don’t work for. And he promised Cate that Robb and I would sleep in separate rooms and he’d keep an eye on us. So we don’t have sex, clearly was the subtext, which made it the most embarrassing conversation ever. So Cate and Dad finally agreed after hours of conversation, and they went home and we stayed here. Robb brought hardly any stuff with him so he’s having to wear my clothes. I don’t mind that, though. It’s ... sort of nice. Like I can look after him, finally. I reckon I’ve always wanted to do that, but he’s always been the golden boy and I’ve just been the cousin who doesn’t quite fit in. Now Cate and Dad think we’re both weird, and I feel horrible for thinking it but it’s sort of reassuring, not to be the only one for a change. Though I hope they’ll cool down by the time we go back in September, cos I’d hate Robb to be miserable. I’d hate that more than anything.
I’ve been enjoying being here. Not just being able to be with Robb, but the job, and the whole place. Never thought of myself as the outdoors type. Not on any sports teams at school. Went camping once with the family and it was a nightmare. But it’s different here. After I’d been on the dig a few days they trusted me enough to do some basic stuff. Washing pottery fragments doesn’t sound that interesting but it was pretty amazing, really, knowing these things had come out of the ground where they’d been for centuries and I was handling them. I found a bit of a handle of a Roman amphora. Apparently there are loads of them lying about, and it didn’t look like anything much, but I stared at it for ages. Just thinking about things I’ve buried, and how everything seems to come to the surface eventually, even if just in broken pieces. But we found all the pieces of a broken plate, more or less, enough to be able to lay them out together, fitted together like a jigsaw, whole after centuries, even if the cracks are still there.
I reckon - I hope - things are going to be alright.
[comments disabled]
Authors: rachel2205 and outboxed
Rating: R
Summary: What if Robb and Jon had livejournals? In 21st century Britain? And some of the other ASOIAF gang did, too? I think this can be safely classed as crackfic. Light Jon/Robb content. Warnings for alcohol and drug use and lots of teenage angst!
Part: 4/4 - Part 1 is here, Part 2 here, Part 3 here.
Wordcount: This chapter: 3000ish
Disclaimer: Based on the HBO show rather than the books. Loosely. We own nothing, and no one on HBO would want to lay claim to this. XD We have nothing to do with George R R Martin.
Notes: Icons for this chapter by: hollow-art, thepurplelily, utterlyindecent, visionsbeyond, readmethesigns, ayyur, lcacbc & fanpop. Best viewed in the livejournal standard layout - if your journal style forces your layout on your flist I can't guarantee the formatting will show correctly! We have used fanon regarding Jon's birth to fudge the incest question a little in order to make this at least vaguely plausible for modern Britain.
This is the final installment of this crazy journey! Thanks so much for joining us. Your feedback is very much appreciated, particularly with this last chapter. (Yes, I am a feedback whore, what of it?)
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-09 04:22:34
[Privacy] Friends only
sorry we ruined your party Jeyne! still a bit drunk but updating now so i don’t forget lol I don’t actually know what happened. I think it started because Jon saw theon and Ros together and went over and said sorry to Theon because he kissed Ros while they were having that big fight last week. Because aparently Jon kissed Ros. I think I was talking to Jeyne when this happened. anyway Theon was shouting like “you fucking snogged my girlfriend” or soemthing so i went over and saw it was Jon he was yelling at and then Theon punched jon in the face so I punched Theon in the face. And then i thought that maybe i punched the wrong person because Theon punched jon but then Jon was the one who kissed Ros and I looked at Ros and I think i must have shouted “you snogged my boyfriend” at her and then Jon said “yeah I did” like it was no big deal so I turned around and punched him and he punched back. it was so fucking ridiculous. and Ros was like frowning and said “so he’s your boyfriend now is he?” in this really snide tone like I was the one who’d pushed JON away to start with. And then Theon looked at me like I was some kind of alien and said “you’re gay” and I started to say I wasnt but Jon was like grabbing my shirt but in this sort of clingy way not violent at all and he said “am I your boyfriend” and I said yes or i think i did. maybe i said i hope so. god, i fucking hope so.
Anyway Jon was like holding on to me and he said i love you. He actually said I love you and then he took two steps backwards and fell straight into this duck pond that I hadn’t even realised was there. It wasn’t a very big duck pond but me and theon both had to pull him out. i don’t actually know why Theon helped. then we went home because Jon was soaking wet and covered in duckweed. i’m covered in duckweed too though. Maybe because we walked so close together on the way home. I think he had his arm around me. Jon’s in the shower now. I told him i’d meet him in the lounge at 4;30 to watch cartoons. maybe I should shower too. Anwyway i had to write this while i remember everything because i dont want it to be like last time you know
ANYWAY I FUCKING LOVE JON OKAY AND THIS IS GOING TO BE AMASZING AND I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK IT UP.
[0 comments]
Robb(lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-09 12:41:54
[Privacy] Friends only
Just reread last night’s update. I’m impressed that any of it makes sense to be honest but I really wasn’t that drunk.
Things went really well after that as well. We mostly just kissed and stuff but it was nice and how it should be because we know where we stand now and that we want this and we’re going to make it work.
It did get ruined a bit this morning though when mum found us asleep on the sofa downstairs. We were t-shirts and boxers so it didn’t look that weird. Although I was sort of lying like half on top of him and stuff. Mum yelled “what on earth do you think you’re doing? Explain yourselves.” which makes it sound like she thought there was something going on but she probably didn‘t. She might just have been annoyed that we were passed out on the sofa. She normally yells like that when that sort of thing happens.
Anyway, I think I said “shhh, Jon’s sleeping” because I was barely awake and mum just looked at me sternly until I cracked and said “I don’t care what you say. I love him and it’s not his fault.” Bad idea I know. So she hauled me into the kitchen and made me explain myself. I did an appalling job of it and Jon came in halfway through still looking half asleep with his hair all messed up and all surprised. Apparently dad’s going to talk to us about this when he gets home. I don’t know whether I should be glad that my dad loves work so much he goes there on Saturdays right now. I am scared, I’d be mad if I wasn’t but mostly I just want to get it over with because nothing he says is going to change anything. Whatever this thing with me and Jon is, it is happening. I don’t care what anyone wants to say about it.
3 comments:
princessofflowers: yes! you tell em! so glad you n jon have worked it out!
plainjeyne: Good luck, I guess. By the way, my dad is really mad about the duck pond thing. You really ruined the grass around it when you pulled Jon out - or maybe Jon ruined it when he fell in, hard to say. I’ve told him it was an accident but we’ll see! Guess you’re not the only one with dad problems.
olyvar: Good luck!
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-09 23:15:45
[Privacy] Friends Only
So everything’s fucked up.
Like, completely.
And I have to go and stay with Uncle Benjen in Heddon-on-the-Wall which is this village near Newcastle and it’s miles away from here and from Robb. Dad said all this stuff about how it’d be good for me to have a change of scene and I can volunteer on Uncle Benjen’s dig at Hadrian’s Wall and I just wanted to hit him. And Cate. And everyone except Robb. And even Robb a bit because if I didn’t care about him I wouldn’t feel like such a freak.
Basically, this.
Robb, I love you. Shit. This is such a mess.
3 comments:
lovely_loras: omg, bb, I’m really worried about you! I’m sure you and Robb will work it out, you’re like my real life otp.
dany_stormborn: Ok I’m really mad on your behalf now! I don’t normally get mad but now they’ve woken the dragon! Oh also I really love that song!!
_craven_sam: Mate, I’m still trying to process the fact that you’re in love with Robb, but anyway, I support you in everything, alright? You’re not a freak. Or if you are, you’re in good company.
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-10 13:25:34
[Privacy] Public
On the train to Newcastle. Numb.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone
1 comment:
starkers: I can’t believe they made you leave! I told you that they couldn’t make you go. I should have stopped them. Fuck. I love you. I don’t know why they think separating us will change anything.
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-10 14:01:35
[Privacy] Custom friends group: not!Theon
Shit. Jon’s gone. Dad drove him to the station an hour ago. This is all happening so fast, I thought we‘d have some time together but now he’s gone. I know it’s not like we’re not going to see each other again. I’d never let that happen. And I think it’s just meant to be for the summer but I just don’t know what to do. He gave me this mix CD and a letter he’d written which had his lj username on and stuff so we can keep in touch. I followed him out when they were about to leave and we just walked to the car together. We were just talking, making jokes about Jon picking up Benjen’s fashion sense and saying I’d look after the others and everything like it was nothing. We hugged goodbye and, shit, it was just so hard to let go. Mum and dad were just staring at us like me hugging him was some kind of crime and Sansa, Bran and Rickon were all watching out of the window. I don’t know how much they know about what’s going on.
It’s stupid but I just don’t know what I’m going to do without him. Jon’s always been there and it wasn’t always like this but it was always me and Jon. Even at times when we barely talked I knew he had my back and now he’s gone to the fag-end of nowhere near Newcastle and it’s all my fucking fault. I should never have kissed him. I just need him here and, fuck, I can’t let it stay like this.
2 Comments:
princessofflowers: it’s so cruel of them to split you up! you should go after him! never let go of your man! i love that he made you a mix.<3 do you guys have a song? loras and renly have one. it’s so cute!
oh and are sansa, bran and rickon your siblings? i’ve got 3 brothers and i thought that was a lot but your family must be bigger since you have jon living with you too.
Starkers: Thanks Margaery. And yeah we’re a big family. I have another sister too but she wasn’t there. I think Jon went to say goodbye to her specially. She says he bequeathed her his Xbox.
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-10 22:41:22
[Privacy] Custom friends group: not!Theon
Dad just came upstairs to talk to me again. I was in Jon’s room, listening to that mix he gave me, trying to think what to do next.
Everyone just seems to want to talk to me today. Bran was up here earlier, trying to be nice. He’s only 10 and he has no idea what this is all really about. He just said that he knew I was sad about Jon but that it wasn’t forever and that we could always text each other and stuff. Plus, he’s always wanted to visit Benjen and see Hadrian’s Wall and maybe we should all go visit him together. At least Bran was being nice about it all.
Dad, on the other hand, just gave me basically the same talk as last night. “We raised you as brothers” / “I don’t know what you think you’re doing” / “Jon’s a good lad but…” I don’t know whether he’s more outraged because of the gay thing or the related-by-blood thing. Shit. I thought he’d be understanding. I mean, mum’s a lost cause but dad is solid. He can be strict but he really does just want us all to be happy and he’s always been awesome to Jon. He tried to make me feel better by telling me I could shadow Jory at the office if I was still interested in getting involved in the business. I don’t know why everyone seems to think that this is just going to go away.
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Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-12 19:26:54
[Privacy] Friends only
Sorry for not updating. Uncle Benjen only has dial-up. Seriously. I didn’t even know people still used dial-up unless they live in, I don’t know, Africa. Uncle Benjen also makes a big deal about not having a TV, which I don’t care about, and there not even being mobile signal here, which I do. I really want to text Robb but I can’t. Uncle Benjen let me call him on the landline last night but he just sat in the same room so I couldn’t say anything real.
So basically what I’ve been doing is working at Uncle Benjen’s dig during the day - which actually means mostly making tea since they won’t let me do anything technical - and in the evening reading these old poetry books he has in the spare bedroom.
Star of love's soft interviews,
Parted lovers on thee muse.
Their remembrancer in heaven
Of thrilling vows thou art,
Too delicious to be riven
By absence from the heart.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. I mean, more than usual. Robb’s always said I think too much and he’s probably right. It’s weird, though. Can’t think of the last time we spent more than a day apart. It’s always been him and me, doing things together. Even the last few years when we’ve had different mates at school, we’d still see each other. Still start my day having breakfast with him.
Uncle Benjen’s not the type to pry, so he hasn’t asked about Robb. He did talk a bit about Cate last night, though. Was interesting, cos Dad never explains anything about the past to us. He was saying how Cate was really ill after Robb was born - postpartum depression or whatever - and she didn’t think it was fair for Dad to bring me back to live with them when she already had that to deal with. And Dad gave her an ultimatum - I could stay or he would leave. Made me feel a bit bad for her for once, though I still think she’s a real bitch sometimes. Sorry, Robb. I know she’s your Mum. Maybe I should be glad, cos Dad always wanted me to call him Dad, and he wanted Cate to be my Mum, but she didn’t. And if she had, maybe I’d’ve felt like Robb’s brother, and I wouldn’t love him like this. I dunno. Maybe that would’ve been healthier, cos what I feel now hurts.
I just wish I could see him.
2 comments:
_craven_sam: Really relieved, mate, cos I was worried when you didn’t reply to my texts. I’ll email you, alright?
lovely_loras: :( :( Thinking of you, bb!
Robb(lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-12 23:03:51
[Privacy] Custom friends group: not!Theon
I think I may actually have cracked. I posted Jon my favourite hoodie today. I don’t know why I did it. This whole separation has been about 10x worse than I ever imagined though. They don’t have phone reception where Jon is and they barely even have internet. It’s ridiculous. And when he called on Benjen’s landline yesterday everything was so different.
I feel stupid but I really just want to get on the train and BRING HIM HOME.
1 comment:
princessofflowers: DO IT!
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-13 00:07:45
[Privacy] Friends only
Just booked a Megabus ticket. Leaves from the bus station at 2:45. Wish me luck!
2 comments:
thebull: You’re nuts, mate. Good luck with it though.
princessofflowers: go get him! and tell us all about it when you get back! i think this is even more romantic than when loras punched someone for insulting renly’s scarf!
Robb (lj user="starkers") wrote
@ 2011-07-13 11:48:02
[Privacy] Public
In an internet café in Heddon-on-the-Wall. Journey was a fucking nightmare. Bus got in late, just after 6am, and then the people at the bus station took forever to work out how I could get from there to Heddon even though it’s supposed to be fucking simple. The first guy was saying I ought to take the metro then the train then the bus but then some other guy came along and said that it was way easier than that and checked their schedule and said if I waited five more minutes then I could get there by just taking two buses. Then they argued about which would take longer before they actually gave me any directions. I took the two buses in the end and had to wait for half an hour in the rain at a bus stop with no shelter for the second bus to show up. It was 7:30 by the time it did and it all felt incredibly stupid.
I got to Heddon at 8 but realised I had no fucking idea where Benjen’s road was so wandered around for ages. I spotted this place early on but it wasn’t open til 9 so I came back after that and asked them. It seems to be the only hub of civilisation in the place. It’s sort of a post office/general store with a café and a couple of ancient PCs in one corner. They gave me directions to Benjen’s and I found it and then I just sat outside for ages.
The postman showed up about 10am with the post, including the hoodie I posted to Jon yesterday. The postman was willing to give it to me for some reason. I guess people in small towns are trusting like that and I was able to tell him who it was addressed to and what the sender‘s address was. I’m wearing the hoodie under my jacket now and I’m actually really glad to have it. It’s fucking cold and it’s still raining.
Anyway I was bloody starving so I decided to come back here and buy food after I waited outside Benjen’s for a while. I’ll probably go back in a bit though in case they come home for lunch. I doubt they will but you never know. Might try the pub after that but I really just want to sleep.
I thought this would all just work out when I got here but now I’m not so sure. What if Jon won’t come home with me? Fuck.
3 comments:
grey_joyinmypants: this is fucking hilarious! i can’t believe you went to buttfuck nowhere in the middle of the night to go and rescue jon fucking snow from life without your cock! that’s hardcore fucking sad man!
princessofflowers: it’ll all be worth it when you see him, you know it will!
plainjeyne: You accidentally posted this as a public entry. I’ve only just seen this and your other posts - you probably should have planned this out before you went. I hope your trip doesn’t end up being a total waste. Try to sleep if you can.
Jon (lj user="notstark") wrote
@ 2011-07-31 12:26:54
[Privacy] Friends only
It’s been a long time since I posted. Sorry about that, cos I know I’ve worried people. There’s been so much going on, and then the other day when I tried to get online LJ wouldn’t load at all, just kept getting error messages.
Anyway.
Two weeks ago Uncle Benjen got a call at work from Dad asking if Robb was with us, cos when they’d woken up that morning Robb wasn’t there. They’d looked at his browser history and found Megabus on there, so they guessed where he might have gone. So Uncle Benjen and I got in the car and drove back to his place. My heart was pounding the whole way. And - he was there, asleep on Benjen’s doorstep, which is just ridiculous and I felt like I was going to - I dunno, throw up or something because I was so excited and freaked out and just ... overwhelmed I suppose. I practically fell out of the car and he saw me and stood up, and I thought about all those stupid romantic comedies where the guy waits in the rain for the girl or whatever and there’s the rising music and the slow panning camera shot, and I know it’s lame but it was like that. He just said “Snow,” and I said “Stark”, and then he hugged me and I couldn’t stop shaking. Uncle Benjen was just standing by the garden gate all this time just watching us, and then he nodded like he’d got an answer to a question and told Robb to come inside and have a cup of tea.
Course, he called Dad as well, and amazingly he took the day off work and drove up with Cate. That was really horrible, cos Cate screamed at us both, and then she cried, and, yeah. We said some pretty bad stuff. And Dad just stood there, and I was pissed off with him cos he never stands up for me, and in the end it was Uncle Benjen who got everyone calmed down the way he does, somehow. Magic.
He came up with the idea that Robb and I should stay here for the rest of the summer hols. Volunteer on his dig - earn our keep, he said, cos Uncle Benjen’s like Dad, they don’t believe in getting things you don’t work for. And he promised Cate that Robb and I would sleep in separate rooms and he’d keep an eye on us. So we don’t have sex, clearly was the subtext, which made it the most embarrassing conversation ever. So Cate and Dad finally agreed after hours of conversation, and they went home and we stayed here. Robb brought hardly any stuff with him so he’s having to wear my clothes. I don’t mind that, though. It’s ... sort of nice. Like I can look after him, finally. I reckon I’ve always wanted to do that, but he’s always been the golden boy and I’ve just been the cousin who doesn’t quite fit in. Now Cate and Dad think we’re both weird, and I feel horrible for thinking it but it’s sort of reassuring, not to be the only one for a change. Though I hope they’ll cool down by the time we go back in September, cos I’d hate Robb to be miserable. I’d hate that more than anything.
I’ve been enjoying being here. Not just being able to be with Robb, but the job, and the whole place. Never thought of myself as the outdoors type. Not on any sports teams at school. Went camping once with the family and it was a nightmare. But it’s different here. After I’d been on the dig a few days they trusted me enough to do some basic stuff. Washing pottery fragments doesn’t sound that interesting but it was pretty amazing, really, knowing these things had come out of the ground where they’d been for centuries and I was handling them. I found a bit of a handle of a Roman amphora. Apparently there are loads of them lying about, and it didn’t look like anything much, but I stared at it for ages. Just thinking about things I’ve buried, and how everything seems to come to the surface eventually, even if just in broken pieces. But we found all the pieces of a broken plate, more or less, enough to be able to lay them out together, fitted together like a jigsaw, whole after centuries, even if the cracks are still there.
I reckon - I hope - things are going to be alright.
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