(no subject)
you know what i just really need to write so i will. i should be using this energy to work on my rough dreaft essay but i just cant. i just have soo many thoughts running through my head. i need to get them out. have you ever been surrounded by people u love and care about but been sooo lonely? have you ever been scared of the familiar? have you ever wanted more? have you ever thought that maybe life isnt so great, or maybe its just not worth it. would anyone miss you if you died? i mean really miss you? are you just nice to be around when your there and do people forget about u when your gone? Im in a slump. Im a paranoid, whiny little girl, thats what it comes down to. im sorry i whine to you livejournal, theres no one i feel like talking to about such subjects. im on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Why, my lifes perfect? Nothing bad has EVER happend to me. I know its because God knows i cant handle it. but ive been paranoid my whole life that some unbelievable horrible will happen to someone i love someday. Im sooo lonely. Why am lonely, im barely ever alone. I think that its because im in a routine. i go to school, i hang out there with my lovely friend Ma-kel then i go to work at a job i hate then i go home and hang out with my adorable boyfriend. Stating the fact that i do in fact love hanging out with jake and makel, i have to wonder something. is this it? Routine day after day. i want to expierence life instead of just barely living it, but im not sure how? I want too many things all of them hypocritical. Why cant i just have them all. thats greedy i guess. im gonna write later i have to go.