(no subject)
I have been known to watch "The Hills" occasionally, and I thought this article was pretty amusing:
Beware: Heidi and Spencer are after your brain
‘The Hills’ duo is everywhere and will stop at nothing to take over the world
Commentary
By Michael Ventre
There is really no other term for the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt phenomenon except “zombie fame cult.” And like all zombie fame cults, it’s important to steer clear if you value your brain.
They can get inside your head and do awful things, such as make you listen while they explain their career goals or talk about a fun nightclub. Their smiles make it seem like everything is fine, as if you swallowed a dozen Xanax and washed them down with a bottle of absinthe.
But everything is not fine.
Heidi and Spencer are everywhere. That is their plan. They want to take over. They want to become bigger than Ryan Seacrest. They want to become bigger than Oprah. If Ryan Seacrest and Oprah had a baby together, and that baby grew up and married Suri Cruise and THEY had a baby, Heidi and Spencer want to be even bigger than that baby.
All in the name of publicity
A few days ago, the duo failed to show up at the season finale party for “The Hills” (the MTV show that started all this), according to E! Online. Heidi’s spokesperson said it was because they were not invited. But that sounds fishy to me. How could they not be invited? It’s their show. They must have been invited.
Yet, if they had shown up to the party, then they would’ve just been two cast members at the party, eating shrimp. They wouldn’t be the two breakout stars who didn’t go because they were not invited. That would bring scrutiny and questions and publicity …
Oh no.
It’s all so diabolical. They’ll stop at nothing, including not going to a party in Beverly Hills.
A couple of months ago, Heidi and Spencer announced that they would not get married, or that they were not ready to get married, or that they would postpone the wedding until more people cared whether or not they got married, which could result in one of the longest engagements in history.
One of the sources for that news was Heidi’s younger sister Stephanie. Stephanie had called into Seacrest’s radio show in L.A. to offer her opinion on whether Heidi and Spencer should tie the knot. In her estimation, they should not. (I think the obvious next step for Stephanie is to lip-synch a song on “Saturday Night Live.”)
Why them?
So who are these people, and why are they everywhere? Yes, they’re attractive people. But I’ve seen thousands of women just like Heidi coming and going at the local breast augmentation center, where I sometimes hang around for research purposes.
What is it about her that has captured the attention of people who have extremely short attention spans? And why Spencer? He reminds me of the guy who seats people at Chili’s.
I watched an interview with the two of them and I have to tell you, it wasn’t Edward R. Murrow sitting down with Churchill. It started off pleasant enough - a young correspondent from something called andPOP asked them about their lives.
Big mistake.
Heidi and Spencer hit the accelerator, explaining that she has a CD coming out, and he directed the music video. (Wait! They co-directed! Obviously a shout-out to the Academy.) He likes to snowboard, she’s a really good skier, performing is her passion, and if they do get married she wants lots of kids.
Before I knew it, the paramedics were rushing up my steps because a neighbor looked through the window and noticed that I was slamming a closet door against my head.
Then I went on YouTube to look for her “Higher” video, because journalistically, it would be irresponsible to pre-judge her work as a singer until I listened to that piece of crap. I had a hard time finding it, simply because there are so many parodies of it already. It seems the Heidster has an enthusiastic following, similar to the one Frankenstein’s monster had - with all the torches.
I say this with all objectivity, with all sensitivity: I wanted to hurl. I’ve seen better videos in a guard’s station at a parking garage.
Isn’t there a spare war plane available? What are we paying taxes for if people like this can just take over our airwaves and bombard us with laser death rays disguised as insipid reality TV? Many Americans are deeply concerned about Tom Cruise and his Scientology message. I have news for them: There are much bigger dangers to our way of life, and they’re threatening to reproduce.
Obviously, the phoniness is a major part of the act. They love it when people trash them, call them all sorts of names, make fun of their many talents. Said Heidi in a recent Los Angeles Times interview: “Obviously, we’re entertainers. We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives. Whether it’s on the show or in the tabloids.”
See how insidious? They want us to think they’re delusional, but actually they think WE’RE delusional because the more vapid they act the more publicity they get. Like I said, there is no explanation other than a zombie fame cult.
The only solution is to ignore them and make believe they’re not there. But I think we all know that’s impossible.
Beware: Heidi and Spencer are after your brain
‘The Hills’ duo is everywhere and will stop at nothing to take over the world
Commentary
By Michael Ventre
There is really no other term for the Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt phenomenon except “zombie fame cult.” And like all zombie fame cults, it’s important to steer clear if you value your brain.
They can get inside your head and do awful things, such as make you listen while they explain their career goals or talk about a fun nightclub. Their smiles make it seem like everything is fine, as if you swallowed a dozen Xanax and washed them down with a bottle of absinthe.
But everything is not fine.
Heidi and Spencer are everywhere. That is their plan. They want to take over. They want to become bigger than Ryan Seacrest. They want to become bigger than Oprah. If Ryan Seacrest and Oprah had a baby together, and that baby grew up and married Suri Cruise and THEY had a baby, Heidi and Spencer want to be even bigger than that baby.
All in the name of publicity
A few days ago, the duo failed to show up at the season finale party for “The Hills” (the MTV show that started all this), according to E! Online. Heidi’s spokesperson said it was because they were not invited. But that sounds fishy to me. How could they not be invited? It’s their show. They must have been invited.
Yet, if they had shown up to the party, then they would’ve just been two cast members at the party, eating shrimp. They wouldn’t be the two breakout stars who didn’t go because they were not invited. That would bring scrutiny and questions and publicity …
Oh no.
It’s all so diabolical. They’ll stop at nothing, including not going to a party in Beverly Hills.
A couple of months ago, Heidi and Spencer announced that they would not get married, or that they were not ready to get married, or that they would postpone the wedding until more people cared whether or not they got married, which could result in one of the longest engagements in history.
One of the sources for that news was Heidi’s younger sister Stephanie. Stephanie had called into Seacrest’s radio show in L.A. to offer her opinion on whether Heidi and Spencer should tie the knot. In her estimation, they should not. (I think the obvious next step for Stephanie is to lip-synch a song on “Saturday Night Live.”)
Why them?
So who are these people, and why are they everywhere? Yes, they’re attractive people. But I’ve seen thousands of women just like Heidi coming and going at the local breast augmentation center, where I sometimes hang around for research purposes.
What is it about her that has captured the attention of people who have extremely short attention spans? And why Spencer? He reminds me of the guy who seats people at Chili’s.
I watched an interview with the two of them and I have to tell you, it wasn’t Edward R. Murrow sitting down with Churchill. It started off pleasant enough - a young correspondent from something called andPOP asked them about their lives.
Big mistake.
Heidi and Spencer hit the accelerator, explaining that she has a CD coming out, and he directed the music video. (Wait! They co-directed! Obviously a shout-out to the Academy.) He likes to snowboard, she’s a really good skier, performing is her passion, and if they do get married she wants lots of kids.
Before I knew it, the paramedics were rushing up my steps because a neighbor looked through the window and noticed that I was slamming a closet door against my head.
Then I went on YouTube to look for her “Higher” video, because journalistically, it would be irresponsible to pre-judge her work as a singer until I listened to that piece of crap. I had a hard time finding it, simply because there are so many parodies of it already. It seems the Heidster has an enthusiastic following, similar to the one Frankenstein’s monster had - with all the torches.
I say this with all objectivity, with all sensitivity: I wanted to hurl. I’ve seen better videos in a guard’s station at a parking garage.
Isn’t there a spare war plane available? What are we paying taxes for if people like this can just take over our airwaves and bombard us with laser death rays disguised as insipid reality TV? Many Americans are deeply concerned about Tom Cruise and his Scientology message. I have news for them: There are much bigger dangers to our way of life, and they’re threatening to reproduce.
Obviously, the phoniness is a major part of the act. They love it when people trash them, call them all sorts of names, make fun of their many talents. Said Heidi in a recent Los Angeles Times interview: “Obviously, we’re entertainers. We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives. Whether it’s on the show or in the tabloids.”
See how insidious? They want us to think they’re delusional, but actually they think WE’RE delusional because the more vapid they act the more publicity they get. Like I said, there is no explanation other than a zombie fame cult.
The only solution is to ignore them and make believe they’re not there. But I think we all know that’s impossible.