the current thought running through my head
I have a hard time letting go of people. Even if I know they're happy, the thought of someone i was once close with not being close with me anymore sickens me. Ex boyfriends, friends, anything....people grow apart its a completely normal thing, but for some reason it never stops bothering me and i'm not quite sure if this is a normal thing or not. I don't want kevin hall to be my boyfriend ever again, and i like his girlfriend Deanna a lot. But for some reason it makes me so sad that theyre both living in California and i have absolutley no communication with them at all. I will always consider them friends to me, but i dont know...kevin is someone that i let in big time, and I haven't spoken a word to him since April. I am happy that they're happy, both of them. I am just unhappy that they're not a part of my life anymore. Again, a hard time letting go. This doesn't just go for Kev and Deanna though. It really goes for everyone. It makes me extremely sad whenever I think about it. Ellen, Sean, boy's that i've had pasts with and decided they weren't good for me whatsoever.......well i still just want them to be a part of my life, even if its nothing romantic. Worst part is I don't have a clue if this sad/angry kind of feeling is somewhat normal. It makes you think twice about being "over" someone. YOu know you're over them, but they're never out of your head or your heart no matter how hard you try. I can't explain it.......thats that.