Was it only a dream?
Last night I dreamt of Patrick. That is not unusual, however I could SEE myself with him and how my body language was telling him that I didn't care. It was so strange to see. I could still feel my real feelings, the ones of love and wanting us to be together. However, when we were walking around in town (no idea where we were), I acted so distant to him. It is so hard to explain. I feel a sense of peace this morning and have hope that we will get another chance.
Perhaps I am just feeling hopeful because he asked if he could stay here for a few months when he got home. It was bothering me so badly that he thought he was going to come to MN and not have to stay here. I mean, how was he going to get an apartment and all that right after getting off the plane!
I told him of course he could stay here. He said he was really depressed because he has dug himself into a hole. (???) He seemed pretty upset, but wouldn't go into too much detail. I'm not sure if something is going on with her, or if he is just realizing that he cannot do it on his own right away, but I am glad to help him.
I know he will probably move out after a few months anyway, but I am so happy he will get to live with the girls for a little while longer. They miss him so much. I am going to give him his space and just go about my business. I told him everything would be okay and I would help him. We talked about how we would always be family and we need to take care of each other.
Then yesterday, he told me that he may get to come home for good on June 1st. He is no longer coming for Easter :( It's been over two months since we have seen him. If we only had to wait two more months, I would be so happy!
So, I know we aren't together and he is with someone else, but I just feel so calm today. I guess because I decided that I DO love him and I DO want to be with him. Maybe I am just being stupid, but I don't want to quit fighting for him.
Perhaps I am just feeling hopeful because he asked if he could stay here for a few months when he got home. It was bothering me so badly that he thought he was going to come to MN and not have to stay here. I mean, how was he going to get an apartment and all that right after getting off the plane!
I told him of course he could stay here. He said he was really depressed because he has dug himself into a hole. (???) He seemed pretty upset, but wouldn't go into too much detail. I'm not sure if something is going on with her, or if he is just realizing that he cannot do it on his own right away, but I am glad to help him.
I know he will probably move out after a few months anyway, but I am so happy he will get to live with the girls for a little while longer. They miss him so much. I am going to give him his space and just go about my business. I told him everything would be okay and I would help him. We talked about how we would always be family and we need to take care of each other.
Then yesterday, he told me that he may get to come home for good on June 1st. He is no longer coming for Easter :( It's been over two months since we have seen him. If we only had to wait two more months, I would be so happy!
So, I know we aren't together and he is with someone else, but I just feel so calm today. I guess because I decided that I DO love him and I DO want to be with him. Maybe I am just being stupid, but I don't want to quit fighting for him.