(no subject)
I cannot possibly explain just how much music means to me. I couldn’t honestly do this feeling justice, by putting into words. But that feeling that I get, that indescribable fucking jump-for-joy/cry-my-eyes-out/tear-at-my-skin feeling, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not for anything. It’s like I can’t decide whether I’m terribly happy or terribly sad. I think it’s both in equal measure, and it brims up inside of me and I’m full, I’m so fucking full of feeling and I think it’s what they call being alive. I’m not used to that feeling, I’m used to apathy, I’m used to depression and morbidity. So any chance I get to feel that, I take it. And I always will. If that means a shitty job for the rest of my life, with a half hour of that feeling per week, then so be it. Hopefully, that won’t be the case. Hopefully I’ll be able to get in on that feeling.
I wish it were tangible. Music, I mean. I wish it were tangible so I could hug it. So I could express this feeling in some way other than tears through smiles. I feel like I could fucking burst and I love it. It’ll always be that way, and I’m so glad because even if I may not be the happiest person on earth, I get to feel that. I know I have real fucking passion for something. Real feelings, real heartfelt I-would-die-in-defence-of-this, stuff.
You may be the college graduate. You may have the million dollars in the bank. You may live in the big extravagant house with your partner and your kids. You can have all that, I don’t need that shit. Because for once in my life, I’ve got something. I’ve got something fucking enviable. I’ve got feeling. I’ve got passion. I've got something that makes me feel indestructible, invincible. I’ve got fuckin’ music. And no one can take that away from me.
I wish it were tangible. Music, I mean. I wish it were tangible so I could hug it. So I could express this feeling in some way other than tears through smiles. I feel like I could fucking burst and I love it. It’ll always be that way, and I’m so glad because even if I may not be the happiest person on earth, I get to feel that. I know I have real fucking passion for something. Real feelings, real heartfelt I-would-die-in-defence-of-this, stuff.
You may be the college graduate. You may have the million dollars in the bank. You may live in the big extravagant house with your partner and your kids. You can have all that, I don’t need that shit. Because for once in my life, I’ve got something. I’ve got something fucking enviable. I’ve got feeling. I’ve got passion. I've got something that makes me feel indestructible, invincible. I’ve got fuckin’ music. And no one can take that away from me.