(no subject)
I have to keep remembering that I have no claim on you. I have to keep reminding myself that we never were anything more than friends who fooled around online. I have to keep reminding myself that when you said "love you" it was most likely ment as an endearment. Not realizing just how much power I put behind the word Love. I don't say it just everyone and I don't say it unless I mean it. Friendly or loverly like. I can't. I don't like to lie about that emotion. I can nearly bring myself to tell my friends whom I have known for over 10 years that I love them. I just can't brin myself to use that word. It means too much to me. But I really don't think you realized it.
And because of that it makes it harder for me to be able to get over you. To get past this longing. I was willing to give up everything for a chance to e with you. And you don't want me anymore.
I can't help but feel like I should it ties and just go cold turkey. I feel like you don't want to get to know me as a person or you know enough. I feel like I am not enough even though I feel like I have proven myself.
The smart thing would be to stop contact and move on. Deleting the pictures, the chats, the Facebook profile and skype. I really Gould do that biut the pull of the life I imaged with you is so strong I feel like I am drowning.
I am willing to put up with your crazy exwife and kids (though you don't put up with kids you love kids because they are part of the package of loving their father) but that is not enough. Won't ever be enough.
So now I must try to figure out the best way to get on with my life.
And because of that it makes it harder for me to be able to get over you. To get past this longing. I was willing to give up everything for a chance to e with you. And you don't want me anymore.
I can't help but feel like I should it ties and just go cold turkey. I feel like you don't want to get to know me as a person or you know enough. I feel like I am not enough even though I feel like I have proven myself.
The smart thing would be to stop contact and move on. Deleting the pictures, the chats, the Facebook profile and skype. I really Gould do that biut the pull of the life I imaged with you is so strong I feel like I am drowning.
I am willing to put up with your crazy exwife and kids (though you don't put up with kids you love kids because they are part of the package of loving their father) but that is not enough. Won't ever be enough.
So now I must try to figure out the best way to get on with my life.