maybe i was holding on too tight.
yesterday we moved all our shit into our new room. it was exhausting to say the least. it's gonna be awesome living there next semester though.
keiko died yesterday :( free willy never got to be free. sad.
i have one more final and then i'm done. it's looking like i'll be flying home on wednesday unless i can change my flight to a day earlier. everyone's already home though...it feels so deserted here.
today is an anniversary for my family...it's probably going to be a pretty hard day for me.
I keep thinking that this is a horrible dream, and that I'm going to wake up any minute. Too bad my life doesn't work that way.
This is all so weird. That's the only way I can describe it. I've been trying to pretend that this isn't real...it would work if it weren't for the fact that our phone has been ringing off the hook from sympathy calls. Everyone wants to tell us that they're sorry...well yeah, we're sorry too. It's hard to pretend things are gonna be okay when someone different calls every 5 minutes to tell you to "hang in there" and that you're "in our prayers." I appreciate the sentiment, but everytime I hear someone say those things it's like a reality check in the most major way and i hate the stupid calls because of that.
It's still 50/50. She wakes up sometimes, but she's in so much agony. They haven't closed the wound yet, so it's still open. They say that when she wakes up she asks about her leg and when they tell her she freaks out so much that they have to sedate her.
Lexie doesn't understand. She keeps asking where her mama is. I don't know what to say. Today I found her hiding behind the couch crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said "I miss Mama." I said that I did too...I do.
this can't be real. this can't be real. this can't be real. this can't be real.
Merry Christmas.
keiko died yesterday :( free willy never got to be free. sad.
i have one more final and then i'm done. it's looking like i'll be flying home on wednesday unless i can change my flight to a day earlier. everyone's already home though...it feels so deserted here.
today is an anniversary for my family...it's probably going to be a pretty hard day for me.
I keep thinking that this is a horrible dream, and that I'm going to wake up any minute. Too bad my life doesn't work that way.
This is all so weird. That's the only way I can describe it. I've been trying to pretend that this isn't real...it would work if it weren't for the fact that our phone has been ringing off the hook from sympathy calls. Everyone wants to tell us that they're sorry...well yeah, we're sorry too. It's hard to pretend things are gonna be okay when someone different calls every 5 minutes to tell you to "hang in there" and that you're "in our prayers." I appreciate the sentiment, but everytime I hear someone say those things it's like a reality check in the most major way and i hate the stupid calls because of that.
It's still 50/50. She wakes up sometimes, but she's in so much agony. They haven't closed the wound yet, so it's still open. They say that when she wakes up she asks about her leg and when they tell her she freaks out so much that they have to sedate her.
Lexie doesn't understand. She keeps asking where her mama is. I don't know what to say. Today I found her hiding behind the couch crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said "I miss Mama." I said that I did too...I do.
this can't be real. this can't be real. this can't be real. this can't be real.
Merry Christmas.