(no subject)
Today is March 4, 2008. Holey sheit. Where have I been for the past year? I swear that the last 12 months have flown by, I guess that's what happpens when the saddest day of your life occurs, it goes by so fast that you do not even realize it. That day will be in a year in exactly 6 days. I am gonna be a mess, and I have choir that day. Also Lindsey and Zach are still trying to make my life miserable. Too bad I'm not gonna let it effect me anymore.
Which leads me to the topic of this entry: happiness.
I am happy right now. I realized that two nights ago and even more last night when I was talking to Lauren. Here's a quote I'm gonna live by for the rest of my life:
"There is always that light at the end of the tunnel, you just have the be the one strong enough to want to see it. The weak ones sit in the dark and do not even try to find the light. You have to keep going down that dark tunnel as long as it takes to find the light."
I came up with it and I'm really proud of myself. I said it while trying to get Lauren to be happy, and I didn't realize that I just found what I needed to help myself be happy. :D
It's not that hard to figure out, but it just means that you can sit around and being sad/angry about the negatives in life all you want, but that won't get you anywhere. You have to focus on the positives and with time things will get better. Which is why I am so happy right now. I've been sitting on my ass since December expecting good things to happen after the bad, WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. Nobody can do that and gain anything. I realized for myself that if I want happiness in life, which I know I do, I need to work my ass off for it, and I am willing to. I am sick and tired of the way I live, waiting for someting to happen that will make me happy. Fuck that. I can be happy on my own if I allow myself to be.
So, despite the fact that Monday will probably be hell, I'm not gonna sit at home and cry all day, which is definitely an option. My mom would fucking let me. But I'm not going to. I'm going to go to school and prove that I can be strong in my own life.
Goodbye. This has helped me a lot. :D
OH. BEFORE I FORGET.
16 DAYS TIL I GET TO SEE THE JONAS BROTHERS!
(Trust me, that may be a whole nother reason to be fucking happy.)