nothing.
I know I haven't updated in such a long time. And I doubt that anyone will even read this. But I just need to vent like crazy.
I have realized that in the past year, I have been completely over emotional. And I feel that I don't have a reason to be.
I feel that nobody knows the true me. When I meet people, I am either overly nice and happy, or I am overly shy. I can't seem to find a balance.
What people don't know is how fake I can be. Not two faced, not a bitch, not like that.
I mean that I do not show my true self. I cry every single day. Whether I have a reason or not, I just do.
I have been having dreams that recall my past, and almost every day in the past week, even when I was in California, I have woken up screaming, crying, and feeling hurt. But I don't know why.
I found a way to take out all of my emotions: reading, for some odd reason. I have been going through The Lovely Bones for me, quickly.
I finished the Harry Potter series yesterday. So it only took two and a half days. I hate that its over. I want to hold on to Harry Potter, because I feel that when I read it, nobody can see me. I am inside a fictional world, and I love it. That's why I tell people that I am obsessed with the series. But that's not even saying anything. Harry Potter allows me to escape my own, emotional world, and enter a place that has nothing to do with me, and I love that.
And it's the same way with friends. I feel that my friends are completely slipping away from me. I don't know if I truly have a best friend anymore, especially because the one that I thought was my best friend disappointed me the other day.
I don't know what to think anymore. I feel that I just can't be happy.
I'm done.
I have realized that in the past year, I have been completely over emotional. And I feel that I don't have a reason to be.
I feel that nobody knows the true me. When I meet people, I am either overly nice and happy, or I am overly shy. I can't seem to find a balance.
What people don't know is how fake I can be. Not two faced, not a bitch, not like that.
I mean that I do not show my true self. I cry every single day. Whether I have a reason or not, I just do.
I have been having dreams that recall my past, and almost every day in the past week, even when I was in California, I have woken up screaming, crying, and feeling hurt. But I don't know why.
I found a way to take out all of my emotions: reading, for some odd reason. I have been going through The Lovely Bones for me, quickly.
I finished the Harry Potter series yesterday. So it only took two and a half days. I hate that its over. I want to hold on to Harry Potter, because I feel that when I read it, nobody can see me. I am inside a fictional world, and I love it. That's why I tell people that I am obsessed with the series. But that's not even saying anything. Harry Potter allows me to escape my own, emotional world, and enter a place that has nothing to do with me, and I love that.
And it's the same way with friends. I feel that my friends are completely slipping away from me. I don't know if I truly have a best friend anymore, especially because the one that I thought was my best friend disappointed me the other day.
I don't know what to think anymore. I feel that I just can't be happy.
I'm done.