Book Review #005 - 'Chart Throb' by Ben Elton [2006]
Title: Chart Throb
Author: Ben Elton
Genre: Satire/Comedy
Published: UK, 2006
Pages: 464
This book is essential reading for everyone in the world who has ever watched and enjoyed a reality television ‘talent’ show.
Seriously. If you love them, it will open your eyes to how foolish you have been in trusting them, and if you are already a sceptic, you will enjoy the fantastically witty way in which Elton rips into them.
Chart Throb is name of the most popular reality TV talent contest on the air in the UK as our novel opens. The mastermind behind it, Calvin Simms, is Simon Cowell, but meaner, more manipulative and savvy. He has a bit of a problem. He has just gotten married to a southern belle who reveals she wants a divorce as soon as they return to his mansion from their honeymoon. Of course, being an expert gold-digger, she plans to take him for at least half his wealth and he is having none of it. So he makes a desperate deal. He will give her ALL of his money if he fails to manipulate the public into crowing a person of her choice as the Chart Throb winner in the upcoming series. But if he can make the hapless person win, she gets absolutely nothing.
Dakota, his money-minded wife sees an opportunity and takes it, choosing one of the most hated men in Britain as her ‘winner’. He just happens to be His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales.
As you might expect, this story is of this series of Chart Throb in which we see a master manipulator at work, getting contestants and viewers alike to perform for him like puppets in order to save his fortune. But it is much more than this.
Elton weaves in a huge cast of characters, populating the novel with an array of colourful contestants (the “blingers, clingers and mingers” but not necessarily singers) including a desperate girl on the edge who “wants it so much”, a loved up duo which happens to include a vocally-talentless blind man, an aging male stripper, and a couple of teenaged bimbos, one of whom suffers an eating disorder.
Some serious issues hide underneath the mockery, including the exploitation of vulnerable people, the risks of the pursuit of fame and how one should never trust the media for a fair representation.
Aiding Simms in his judging of the talentless masses, are a British rocker whose sex change has made him into Beryl Blenheim, a Sharon Osbourne-esque reality television star and ‘mother’ of the year to a pop-star wannabe teenage daughter with a failing album, and Rodney Root - a former music mogul who longs for publicity and fame, while suffering from being the boring third judge. Hosting is Keely, a perky, pretty shoulder for the failed contestants to cry on - a mish-mash of Cat Deeley and Kate Thornton, hosts of So You Think You Can Dance, and X Factor respectively.
Now, I do really like this book. So much in fact that I got through the 464 pages within a day, laughing out loud several times.
As someone who used to love these ‘talent’ contests and who recently, (by way of the latest series of X Factor in the UK) has become very disillusioned with the idea, I felt validated by this book. It made so much sense, was funny, smart and bold. Though out in 2006, this book covers so many issues that were raised in the just-finished X Factor series, such as vote-rigging, judges keeping in talentless, unpopular contestants to keep in controversial, and editing to make contestants seem better or worse to the audience. Which is why everyone who loves X Factor should read this book as it points everything out, but in a way that won’t make loyal fans rush to defend the show.
The pacing is brilliant, hooking the reader in with a glimpse of a character called Shaiana, crying her eyes out on an episode of Chart Throb with Keely cajoling her into uttering those clichéd phrases. “I want it so much. It’s my dream.” Then introducing us to Calvin and his plot line, then to Beryl and her US fly-on-the-wall TV show a la The Osbournes, and to desperate Rodney Root trying to cling to fame. Then we meet the crew behind the scenes, researchers and assistants Emma, Trent and Chelsea, who go through the task of finding the ‘blingers’ ‘clingers’ and ‘mingers’ for the show. Just as you think too much is going on, it switches back to Calvin’s storyline, or to HRH the Prince of Wales, or to the research team. Then some contestants get their stories introduced.
Despite sounding like all these characters and their threads are all over the place they do all come together. It’s seamless at times, and I often found that as I was starting to grow tired with one scene, the next chapter would take me back to something interesting.
Some things did bother me though. Firstly, the name dropping of people such as Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh - though necessary to show that the characters were not these people but parodies of them, took me out of the story a bit at first. I found myself wondering what happened to them to make these replacements bigger than them. I mean, it’s a little difficult to think of anyone being ‘Mr Nasty’ but Simon Cowell, and he’s not exactly going to go away even if his TV shows lose in the ratings. But that aside, the parodies are so well done I can forgive Elton this little thing.
Also, as it was released in 2006, 2 full years before ‘Saint’ Cheryl Cole became a judge on the X Factor, I can forgive the lack of Cheryl-Bashing. I really would have loved to see him rip into her though, as she is perfect for parodying.
The ending was so full of twists I was almost left confused. Almost. In the end it finishes both surprisingly and predictably, if that is even possible. It’s rather clever. As was the characterisation of HRH The Prince of Wales. Close enough to the real thing to be funny, but different enough and flattering enough to prevent an angry Royal. I bet even he laughed at himself if he ever read this book.
Overall, the comedy was perfect, as you come to expect from such a celebrated comic as Ben Elton. With Blackadder, The Young Ones, Maybe Baby and We Will Rock You to his name, it is inevitable that he will create enough laughs. He does get his point across though.
He really gets it to hit home just how ridiculous reality television talent shows are.
So after reading this, a book given to me as an unexpected Christmas gift and devoured within a day of me receiving it, I will most definitely be giving ben Elton’s other novels a go.
Entertaining, thought provoking and just so very, very funny!