May 06, 2008 09:38
I'm going to see Kyle later today! I'm so nervous. I haven't seen him in 6 months. I kept thinking about it last night and my heart was racing. I don't know. Ha!
Even though we were apart, I felt we became closer. We talked about the things that bothered and upset us. We tried to work things out for us. It was not easy. Going through deployment is definitely the toughest phase of my life. When Kyle told me that he volunteered to be deployed, I felt like I was stabbed right in the heart. That's probably the closest description of how I felt. I tried not to think that he was deploying; I tried to spend as much time with him as I could. I cried whenever he talked about deployment but I didn't cry in front of him the day he left. Standing there with all the guys' loved ones was really hard. You would really feel the sadness in the place. Everyone was quiet. Some girls were crying, wearing USMC sweatshirts to show that they support their boyfriends/brothers/dads/cousins/friends, and some were holding stuffed animals that had meaningful memories of their relationships. Saying goodbye was really tough. I had a lot of things on my mind. I was not sure if I was going to see him alive, if he was going to make it back home safe, if our relationship could handle being apart, and stuff like that. I tired to hold back my tears as much as I could. But I failed. It finally hit me that I was not going to see him when I saw the bus leaving. I cried while walking to the parking lot. I cried in the car. I saw the bus while we were driving and told my brother that that was the bus that Kyle was on. He honked like crazy. It was like in the movies.
I never thought that I would be with someone that is in the military and in a long distance relationship. I kinda didn't believe in long distance relationships. But I proved myself wrong.
But deployment is over and I can't ask for anything more. It's what I've been waiting for since he got on the bus. In a few hours, I will see the guy that made my heart melt. The guy that proved to me that he really loves me. *tears*
It doesn't matter if other people don't understand me and why I chose this. I'm extremely happy.
iraq,
kyle,
usmc,
deployment