Café Mocha: Chapter Seventeen
Title: Café Mocha: Essential Child Raising Agent
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Genre: Romance, Humour
Rating/Warning/Spoilers: Adult concepts, Possibilities of some strong language, Subtle hints for season three
Summary: One night something unexpected comes through the rift and shocks the team.
In which Ianto finds a part of him he never knew he had, and Jack pervs on babies.
Author's Notes: Kudos to my wonderful beta Aaya, whose help has been immeasurable.
Disclaimer: I own nothing: it all belongs to Russell T. Davies. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Picture of baby here Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16
AN Sorry for the delay; I had hoped to get this out last week but too much crap in my life happened so it got pushed back. It’s not up to the usual standard (when it gets beta’d I’ll replace that version with this one) and I had so much wild stuff planned; like inappropriate groping and ogling but, alas, it was not to be.
“She doesn’t like baths but she likes swimming?” Ianto shook his head as he watched Jack hold Grace, submerged up to her shoulders. He sighed, “She’s so contrary.”
Jack smiled down at his daughter, his finger grasped in her fist, admiring how relaxed and peaceful she looked. “If you overlook the swimming costume, I’d say she was one cool baby.”
Ianto chuckled and smiled as he saw Grace stare at him from the corner of her eyes. Jack also noticed and moved to pass her over to Ianto, but she started fussing so Jack concentrated on calming her down again.
“She has Jack round her little finger too, eh?” Gwen asked Ianto, and Jack started, oblivious to her arrival.
Ianto nodded and turned to whisper to her quietly, “He’s become a kept man of late. He put her nursery together, he changes her, puts her down…” He trailed off and turned to watch his lover and daughter.
“And she loves him,” Gwen added, turning to Ianto with a knowing glint her eye, “I saw him try to pass her to you and she flat out refused. She’s a daddy’s girl already.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow and Gwen realised her mistake, “Not that I’m saying you’re not a father figure or anything, you just know that out of the two of you, he’s going to be the overprotective, overbearing one. Especially when it becomes to boyfriends.”
“I feel sorry for her.” Interrupted Rhys as he swum over and Ianto agreed (secretly).
“The man doesn’t sleep so she can’t even sneak out the house at night.” Gwen added. “He’d have no qualms about following her on dates. And he’d do it badly just so they knew they were being followed. And offer them popcorn when they went to the cinema.”
Ianto sniggered at the two, his mind turning over the idea of how attractive he found Jack being a father, so much so that he felt the blood draining out of his brain, “You know; it’s a good thing he wasn’t wearing those Speedos while holding Grace otherwise everyone would think he was a paedo.”
Gwen and Rhys nodded, Gwen imagining Jack in Speedos and Rhys just cringing. Ianto just smiled at the couple before he went to swim his extra energy off and hopefully re-divert blood flow back to his brain.
“What do you think he sees in him?” Rhys asked as he watched Ianto swim away.
“Who?” Gwen asked, hating it when Rhys was unnecessarily vague.
“Jack in Ianto.”
“Yes,” Gwen agreed sarcastically, seeing that Rhys was still staring off into space and not engaging in conversation, “I’m sure that’s a place he’s in often.”
“What?!” Rhys said, as he turned his attention back to his wife. He narrowed his eyes at her before he shook his head, “What I meant was, what does Jack see in Ianto? I mean, I thought they were both straight when I met them, and here we are playing happy families with them.”
“Maybe he’s really good in bed?” suggested Gwen.
“And I see you’ve been thinking about that.” Rhys muttered. “Bloody mind cheater.”
Gwen hit him lightly, “I was wondering the same thing myself. Though, it doesn’t matter really, they’re good for each other-this is the happiest I’ve seen either of them.”
Rhys looked down at his wife fondly and hugged her.
“I think Jack’s got an erection,” Rhys mumbled.
“How d’you know?” Gwen whispered back in an equally scandalous tone.
“I’ve shared many a communal shower with men before,” Rhys explained in a matter-of-fact tone. “He’s displaying all the signs.”
Gwen looked at Jack properly for the first time since she got in the pool. He was standing funnily as he leant against the edge; legs crossed over each other and his hips shifted against the side of the pool instead of leaning back against it as was more comfortable.
She also had to admit he pulled of the daddy-thing extremely well and was looking very, very sexy.
Rhys coughed and she realised she’d spent too long checking out Jack’s chest.
“What?” Gwen complained, “I was looking at Grace!”
Rhys gave her pointed a look, “Maybe we should go and give him some company; he looks lonely standing over there all by himself.”
“Yeah,” Gwen repeated dumbly as a wave of water splashed Jack’s chest and droplets started moving down it slowly, “He looks real lonely.”
“This is going to be awkward.” Rhys muttered staring at Jack’s crotch.
Gwen noticed and slapped him on the arm, “Stop staring at it. He’s going to notice. Then he’ll think you’re gay.” She paused and punctuated each word with a slap, “Especially if you go round insinuating that I used to be a man.”
“Bloody hell,” Rhys muttered rubbing his arm as he moved away from his wife and towards Jack, “I knew I shouldn’t have believed you when you said you never held a grudge.”
“I can’t believe you told them I had an erection.” Jack said, sounding an odd mixture of slightly annoyed and amused as they walked back to the car.
Ianto turned to him, to protest his innocence, “I didn’t!”
“Thing is, I didn’t have one though,” Jack grabbed his hand, “you did.”
“I know,” Ianto grinned mischievously, knowing that Jack was amused, “but it was funny to watch their reactions. Gwen was so scandalous.”
“And none of them suspected you,” Jack muttered, frowning at that revelation, “I don’t understand that-you’re one of the dirtiest people I know.”
“I have an innocent reputation to uphold.” Ianto said as he smirked proudly as they walked round the car park.
“Anyway, neither Gwen or Rhys have any subtlety,” added Jack as he unlocked the car, “they spent the rest of the hour staring at the folds in those disgusting mucus-coloured trunks and trying to work out which one was my cock.”
Ianto snickered, “I know. It was too funny to come back and just watch them trying not to stare. How long did it take you to realise what they were doing?”
“Too long,” Jack shrugged, “I could have told you if you’d let me wear my Wrist Strap into the pool.”
Ianto frowned as he strapped the car seat into the back of the car, “Because that wouldn’t have looked suspicious. Or odd.”
“I’d rather be odd than nasty,” interrupted Jack as he climbed into the front and put the radio on, “those shorts were disgusting.”
“Well don’t pack those sad excuses for swimwear and we won’t have a problem.” He shook his head as he joined Jack in the front of the car, “I don’t know why you even bothered to bring a rucksack; you could have fit it in a sandwich bag.”
Jack smiled at Ianto’s ranting, “Face it. You just don’t want other men to see my cock.”
“Erm, I’m pretty sure that’s not it,” Ianto muttered sarcastically, “that thing could poke you in the eye from miles away. I’m pretty sure it’s done that to me before now that I think about it…”
Jack made a show of ignoring him as he turned up the radio and started singing along to the song,
“And then you make this noise, and it’s apparent it’s all over…”
Ianto smiled watched Jack, feeling more than slightly amused as Jack sung loudly about erectile dysfunction. “Where do you want to go for lunch?”
Chapter Eighteen