Ouch.
Yesterday I hurt someone’s feelings.
The feelings of the boy I’ve been sleeping with.
It shook me up,
Because I’m not used to hurting other people.
I try hard not to.
I think about these things.
But I did, and although he said ‘Don’t worry about it’..
..I’m worrying about it.
I know it’s nothing. No big deal. I shouldn’t worry about it.
But -
And this sounds strange, I know-
It’s been so long since I’ve knowingly hurt someone’s feelings..
..since I’ve had to apologize.
I hate this feeling.
And it’s not even because I’m sleeping with him.
It’s because he’s my friend.
And the worst part is, now he’s acting differently.
He said it’s no big deal.
I believed him until this afternoon.
Yes, there are things I want to happen between us sexually.
But more than that, I don’t want to have a dent in our friendship.
Why do people say don’t worry about it,
when they don’t mean it?