OPEN MIC: I Hate, I Love, I Want
I hate:
the fact that I am preoccupied by my own mortality - always frantic and frozen in fear - always feeling I'm running out of time and not doing anything with myself/time.
I love:
a person that I know. I think. I've changed my views on love over the past few years. I think that when it's really really real, it doesn't ever go away, and it always hurts. I'd thought myself in love a few times... but... it went away. I was always only caught up in the wake of someone else's momentum, or crossed the wires of giddy-trashed with person-bonding. There's a seriousness and stark reality about it all, now that I'm not drunk or stoned or otherwise enebriated most of my time. It exists. It might be real. I might hurt forever. And I don't mind.
I want:
wrinkle free skin with octopus/cuttlefish color capabilities
a driver's liscence, un-double vision, and a smart car
to paint
to feel well
an Ideapad S10
a collection of Fluevogs
a means of making money that doesn't involve making websites (because I'm out of my depth)
to create something of brilliance... what I know I'm capable of... somewhere in my insides
What is broken:
me. always me.
two computers and a laptop littering my apartment
the world. the fact that i can't build a boat and sail across the ocean to the other side and see what's there without having paperwork and ID