The first step is admitting you have a problem.
I *love* sweets.
I like to make them. To smell them. To give them to people.
I *love* to eat them.
But every year around Thanksgiving, I fall off my Good Habit Wagon and plunge into an at least month long free-for-all of holiday drinks and treats.
But this year, I couldn't really partake of the holiday drinking, so much, so I focused on all the cakes and candies and cookies and chocolate thingies that I and other people made.
And now, I can't stop.
The plan was to just cut it out cold turkey the day after Christmas.
I thought surpassing my pregnancy weight gain cap would be at least a little bit of a motivator to raise the candy bar out of my reach.
I think it simply drove me deeper into the embrace of that refined white goddess, and her Cacao friend.
Bitches.
So yesterday, as I ate 3/4 of a huge ass candy bar (440 calories in the whole bar) and then finished off the last 1/4 this morning and then had some of the Lake Champlain chocolate I ordered on clearance and THEN had a vanilla sugar wafer cookie and THEN ate a long, giant, chocolate covered donutty thing with buttercream evil inside....
I have to stop.
It's not good for me, and it's only making Lilah a fatter baby that I will have to squeeze out here in a few days :-/
I feel like I need to cut it all out for now. I am not strong enough to handle a little bit here or there. I want it all.
So, I have had to throw away a giant bag of these gold-wrapped chocolate ball candies from my cousin, frozen the rest of my candy from Lake Champlain, whether or not that's good for chocolate (don't care, it's good for me). Chunked any and all baked goods that might whisper to me as I pass by.
I'm tempted to even get rid of the Nutella.
I probably should get rid of the Nutella. I have a bad habit of wanting it on graham crackers.
So. I don't know how I'm going to do this, because it is part a comfort thing. I feel my life spiraling out of control, you know, with this baby coming whenever and my not knowing when PLUS having to take care of her when she gets here and not knowing when I can be me or do what I want to again so I'm like, trying to cram all this "me" stuff in rightnow.
Anyway.
So that's it.
I'm holding myself accountable to you, LJ world. Be mean, if you must.
I can take it.
I've got some squishy bits.
I like to make them. To smell them. To give them to people.
I *love* to eat them.
But every year around Thanksgiving, I fall off my Good Habit Wagon and plunge into an at least month long free-for-all of holiday drinks and treats.
But this year, I couldn't really partake of the holiday drinking, so much, so I focused on all the cakes and candies and cookies and chocolate thingies that I and other people made.
And now, I can't stop.
The plan was to just cut it out cold turkey the day after Christmas.
I thought surpassing my pregnancy weight gain cap would be at least a little bit of a motivator to raise the candy bar out of my reach.
I think it simply drove me deeper into the embrace of that refined white goddess, and her Cacao friend.
Bitches.
So yesterday, as I ate 3/4 of a huge ass candy bar (440 calories in the whole bar) and then finished off the last 1/4 this morning and then had some of the Lake Champlain chocolate I ordered on clearance and THEN had a vanilla sugar wafer cookie and THEN ate a long, giant, chocolate covered donutty thing with buttercream evil inside....
I have to stop.
It's not good for me, and it's only making Lilah a fatter baby that I will have to squeeze out here in a few days :-/
I feel like I need to cut it all out for now. I am not strong enough to handle a little bit here or there. I want it all.
So, I have had to throw away a giant bag of these gold-wrapped chocolate ball candies from my cousin, frozen the rest of my candy from Lake Champlain, whether or not that's good for chocolate (don't care, it's good for me). Chunked any and all baked goods that might whisper to me as I pass by.
I'm tempted to even get rid of the Nutella.
I probably should get rid of the Nutella. I have a bad habit of wanting it on graham crackers.
So. I don't know how I'm going to do this, because it is part a comfort thing. I feel my life spiraling out of control, you know, with this baby coming whenever and my not knowing when PLUS having to take care of her when she gets here and not knowing when I can be me or do what I want to again so I'm like, trying to cram all this "me" stuff in rightnow.
Anyway.
So that's it.
I'm holding myself accountable to you, LJ world. Be mean, if you must.
I can take it.
I've got some squishy bits.