An Open Letter:
Dear George Clooney -
I was actually kind of sorry to hear about your breakup with Sarah Larson. I mean, I don't know her at all - or you - but you seemed like a nice couple. You certainly didn't have one of those vomitous drama-filled relationships, which is so nice and refreshing these days. So you just were appealing on that "ohthankgod they're not crazy" level.
Anyway, I wish you both well with that.
But that is not the point of this letter, though I think the two may be related somehow, and so I have to ask the question:
George - Why get veneers now?
You've had those teeth you've had for like, what, 40-something years? You've been the sexiest man alive with those teeth you've had for what, about 20 different times now? You've had all kinds of women fall all over themselves wanting to be with you for just one second with those teeth you've had for what - 15 years now??
I don't get it.
Veneers are creepy. And now they've ruined your smile.
I have no idea what opened your eyes to the teeth of Stepford Hollywood. I don't know if this is all part of some mid-life "issues" you are dealing with. And I know that now it's done and there is no going back to your sexiest man alive teeth ever again because they've been filed into tiny points before being fitted with your prosthetic chiclets.
But I'm pretty disappointed, George. Part of your charm is your realism. And now, NOW you got chiclet teeth.
I'm still up for drinks, though. Just let me know. But after a few rounds, I'm going to ask you WHY THE TEETH!?
I was actually kind of sorry to hear about your breakup with Sarah Larson. I mean, I don't know her at all - or you - but you seemed like a nice couple. You certainly didn't have one of those vomitous drama-filled relationships, which is so nice and refreshing these days. So you just were appealing on that "ohthankgod they're not crazy" level.
Anyway, I wish you both well with that.
But that is not the point of this letter, though I think the two may be related somehow, and so I have to ask the question:
George - Why get veneers now?
You've had those teeth you've had for like, what, 40-something years? You've been the sexiest man alive with those teeth you've had for what, about 20 different times now? You've had all kinds of women fall all over themselves wanting to be with you for just one second with those teeth you've had for what - 15 years now??
I don't get it.
Veneers are creepy. And now they've ruined your smile.
I have no idea what opened your eyes to the teeth of Stepford Hollywood. I don't know if this is all part of some mid-life "issues" you are dealing with. And I know that now it's done and there is no going back to your sexiest man alive teeth ever again because they've been filed into tiny points before being fitted with your prosthetic chiclets.
But I'm pretty disappointed, George. Part of your charm is your realism. And now, NOW you got chiclet teeth.
I'm still up for drinks, though. Just let me know. But after a few rounds, I'm going to ask you WHY THE TEETH!?