i am hard core disappointed in myself
and it's not a good feeling. i've always taken a lot of pride in my grades and my school work, and i feel really ashamed of fucking things up so miserably. i am REALLY not prepared for my math test tomorrow, but i watched american idol instead of studying. i also haven't read for psych, written my italian paper, or read for english. the paper i turned in to East Asia today was an embarassment to everything i've learned in high school. i really hate this feeling of having everything hanging over my head. that's why i had always been so good about getting my work done. i really hate not doing my best. it's not a problem i've had in the past.
maybe i'm not motivated because of Brown, or maybe i'm just burnt out. either way, this needs to end NOW because i feel like crap. what if my motivation never comes back and i'm a slacker for the rest of my life?
i know the Doctor is going to assign something before the end of the week and i really can't deal with it with the math and italian still hanging around. WHICH IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE DEALT WITH THOSE TONIGHT, BUT NO. I'M A GIANT FUCK-UP. i don't expect people to have sympathy for me because blah blah blah im already into college and its not like i'm getting an F in any of my classes, but i really need to deal with this in order to be happy. i feel so hopeless right now.
maybe i'm not motivated because of Brown, or maybe i'm just burnt out. either way, this needs to end NOW because i feel like crap. what if my motivation never comes back and i'm a slacker for the rest of my life?
i know the Doctor is going to assign something before the end of the week and i really can't deal with it with the math and italian still hanging around. WHICH IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE DEALT WITH THOSE TONIGHT, BUT NO. I'M A GIANT FUCK-UP. i don't expect people to have sympathy for me because blah blah blah im already into college and its not like i'm getting an F in any of my classes, but i really need to deal with this in order to be happy. i feel so hopeless right now.