(no subject)
Wow- I just went from a good mood to a bad one in about 4 seconds.
I hate when people just assume I know things when in reality... I'm completely in the dark.
And then when I say "were you ever gonna tell me?" , they say "oh... I thought you knew" Which really means, "I completely forgot about you".
Which brings me to my next point... Why am I completely invisible? I walk to class every day, and every day I get run into. Many times. I'm not that small, it's not like you didn't see me. No one speaks to me except my friends, and Wow... I have three friends. So I spend most of my day in silence. It's starting to get to me. It's like when I try to start up a conversation with someone... not even a conversation, but just ask a question or something, they avoid eye contact with me. What is it about me that makes people not want to acknowledge my exhistance?
College was supposed to be different. I was supposed to fit in. I was supposed to be passing my classes. I was supposed to be loving it. I was supposed to have tons of new friends and boyfriends and new experiences. But for me... it's the same. You can say what you want "you have to put yourself out there" "join clubs" "be more outgoing".... It's not easy for me to do that. I can't be someone I'm not. I don't understand why it's so difficult for me to just be accepted for being the shy reserved person that I am. Why do I still cry myself to sleep everynight? This was supposed to stop. But College is the same life I've always had. A life I'm not too fond of. Most days all I can think of is 'I can't wait for tommorrow'... then tomorrow comes, it's not any better.
I put on a happy face for the most part. Because when I'm a downer even less people want to hang out with me and talk to me.
I need something to change or else I'm going to self destruct
I hate when people just assume I know things when in reality... I'm completely in the dark.
And then when I say "were you ever gonna tell me?" , they say "oh... I thought you knew" Which really means, "I completely forgot about you".
Which brings me to my next point... Why am I completely invisible? I walk to class every day, and every day I get run into. Many times. I'm not that small, it's not like you didn't see me. No one speaks to me except my friends, and Wow... I have three friends. So I spend most of my day in silence. It's starting to get to me. It's like when I try to start up a conversation with someone... not even a conversation, but just ask a question or something, they avoid eye contact with me. What is it about me that makes people not want to acknowledge my exhistance?
College was supposed to be different. I was supposed to fit in. I was supposed to be passing my classes. I was supposed to be loving it. I was supposed to have tons of new friends and boyfriends and new experiences. But for me... it's the same. You can say what you want "you have to put yourself out there" "join clubs" "be more outgoing".... It's not easy for me to do that. I can't be someone I'm not. I don't understand why it's so difficult for me to just be accepted for being the shy reserved person that I am. Why do I still cry myself to sleep everynight? This was supposed to stop. But College is the same life I've always had. A life I'm not too fond of. Most days all I can think of is 'I can't wait for tommorrow'... then tomorrow comes, it's not any better.
I put on a happy face for the most part. Because when I'm a downer even less people want to hang out with me and talk to me.
I need something to change or else I'm going to self destruct