Another year has gone by...
So here we are again at another Christmas. I can't believe another year is coming to an end. And what a year it has been. I think about all that has happened in the last 12 months and it's hard to imagine it as just months...when some things feel like years. 2007 was a year of loss, change, growth, disappointment, tears, laughter, and renovation. Two huge losses: Rick McMahon and Uncle Jerry. Though only one was biological family, it was definitely the loss of two family members. February marks the full year since Rick passed away, I still can't believe he's gone. And the holidays this year lacked a little bit of luster without Uncle Jerry. Thanksgiving was very different; calmer and more reserved. Christmas was really nice today but it's still hard to think that he's not here anymore. Every year when we decorate for Christmas we put most of the pictures away in the living room to make room for my mom's hundreds of snowmen...and the tons of other decorations. This year we left one table for Uncle Jerry, placing family pictures and pictures of him surrounded by any angel figurines we had...it just seemed fitting. I get sad looking at the pictures sometimes, but smile because I know that I was lucky enough to have someone like him in my life. If there's one thing I'm thankful for in this life, it's my family. They may be crazy, they may drive me crazy, but they're supportive and loving and I know I'm not alone. My friends mean so much to me as well, though there were fallings in and out of a few close friends this year that left me hurt and broken. Then again I got through it and made out okay. Disappointment. Life was so full of it this year. The new year began in disappointment. I failed a class, and got a D in another. First time ever. I never felt so lost. Second semester I didn't even feel like a human at times. I didn't know what I wanted out of school, I was hurting from a friendship hurtling itself into the ground, and then Rick passed away. I just couldn't seem to find that light at the end of the tunnel. But through the second half of the semester, with the help of some amazing friends, I managed to make it through okay. I reauditioned and got in to the school of music, which was a huge accomplishment. I'll be in school forever, but I just know I'm supposed to be doing music. Then came summer...and the sense of accomplishment would soon turn into disappointment once again. Jekyll and Hyde wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, but I can't say it was all a waste, I met some amazing people and got even closer to some I already knew (coughstephandmarybyattcough), but it was still frustrating. And then at the end of all that, for Uncle Jerry to be in a coma for three weeks and then pass away just took away the rest of whatever I had left in me. Starting in the fall as a junior with a new major wasn't exactly easy. There were days with a lot of tears, but days with a lot of laughter. I can't even express my gratitude for two of my friends up at school that have been there and supported me through God knows what, and provided a good majority of the laughter..even if they drive me crazy. But toward the closing of the semester I see how far I've come, and how much I've grown, and look forward to growing more not only musically but as a friend, and person. So maybe 2008 will be better...maybe it won't. Here's hoping.