Time moves so quickly
I wanted to updated about mom's party but I was the hostess and by the end of the night (after my duties were over and cleaning up done) I got so drunk posting would have been a joke. With the combination of eating all day long and getting way too full then drinking on top of it...well i prayed to the porcoline god at around 5:30am. Mom was great on Sunday, I dont know if it was just as thanks for working my ass off and giving her a party or if its just because shes been there before. I slept till around 1:30 or 2:00 and at some point she came in and asked me how i was and rubbed my back and sat with me till I dozed off again. I have had mild hang overs before and been far more drunk than I was but maybe it was just the combintion of the types of food and such. My brother felt sick too and it wasnt because of the alcohol. Oh well I lived and had fun...well fun for the most part. Went out to dinner with Dad, Cindy, David, and Susan on sunday. Saw my Granny as well and she gave me money, Granny rocks.
David and Susan went back to Mobile on Monday and Mom had to come to Paxon and get David's keys which he left in my car. I still have his sunglasses in there somewhere as well. Monday and tuesday went by in a blurr. Did really well on a Prob and Stat test as well as an AP Environmental Science (APES) test. Yay! But kind of fucked up a physics quiz and AP Gov. test. Meh. Ran far too many sprints...and one of our best players my be quiting in volleyball. Fuck. I'm also missing a game on saturday because i have to work. Its only pre-season though.
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Every other wednesday now i get out of school early. Go duval county. Tempest and I went down to five points and Avondale. Then she left and i talked to Johnathan for a while. Hes pretty cool I had never really talked to him before.
Then Spikes came and we went to the park to have a talk. He told me he loves me. I saw it comeing but i didnt let him know that till later. Sadly I cannot return the feelings. I cant let myself take him back. Its not whats best for me right now. He did finally admitt the real reason he broke up with me. He got scared and pulled away and even convinced himself of false reasons to break up with me. I'm not sorry that I cant let myself be with him but i do feel bad that im hurting him. Poor darling. Hes sweet and I do care for him but right now im looking at myself and i dont really like what i see. I feel like i have no self definition and I so often mold myself off of who I am with. I am alway with someone and for now I'm jsut going remember what it feels like to be alone. I wont be my mother who is with someone just for fear of being alone. Speak of the devil...shes yelling and i must go.
David and Susan went back to Mobile on Monday and Mom had to come to Paxon and get David's keys which he left in my car. I still have his sunglasses in there somewhere as well. Monday and tuesday went by in a blurr. Did really well on a Prob and Stat test as well as an AP Environmental Science (APES) test. Yay! But kind of fucked up a physics quiz and AP Gov. test. Meh. Ran far too many sprints...and one of our best players my be quiting in volleyball. Fuck. I'm also missing a game on saturday because i have to work. Its only pre-season though.
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Every other wednesday now i get out of school early. Go duval county. Tempest and I went down to five points and Avondale. Then she left and i talked to Johnathan for a while. Hes pretty cool I had never really talked to him before.
Then Spikes came and we went to the park to have a talk. He told me he loves me. I saw it comeing but i didnt let him know that till later. Sadly I cannot return the feelings. I cant let myself take him back. Its not whats best for me right now. He did finally admitt the real reason he broke up with me. He got scared and pulled away and even convinced himself of false reasons to break up with me. I'm not sorry that I cant let myself be with him but i do feel bad that im hurting him. Poor darling. Hes sweet and I do care for him but right now im looking at myself and i dont really like what i see. I feel like i have no self definition and I so often mold myself off of who I am with. I am alway with someone and for now I'm jsut going remember what it feels like to be alone. I wont be my mother who is with someone just for fear of being alone. Speak of the devil...shes yelling and i must go.