between travels
I'm sitting here in Croton and feel a certain type of anxiety. It feels like I'm stuck in mud temporarily. I know where I want to be, and where I want to go, but I have a lot of worries. It's been awhile since I had something to lose. I want to start a life on my own, but I'm also afraid of losing this opportunity by losing the money. I've seen how fast I can win and lose, and I'm concerned for sure, but as long as I'm smart with it, and don't get too crazy like I was in Vegas, I'll be ok. I also am sad that I've gotten so far out of shape (for myself) that I feel unhealthy. I want to get back in shape and I want to do it ASAP, however my body isn't used to exercise and cardio like it used to be. It will be a slow and hopefully steady process. For now I need to embrace each day, and realize that everyday used for my goals is a day closer to them. Tomorrow I will take as much action in one day that I can in order to step closer to those goals. Of course I need to visit some friends and family before I take off. I need to visit my Dad and spend some time with him. I need to see my friend Sara as she has always been there for me. After this I feel like I'm free to go. Vancouver sounds like a good place to live for now. The city sounds great, and there is a lot to do there. I'm not sure if it's where I want to live, but the experience and moving will help me learn how to search for a new place to live.