Beautiful Day
Today, I must have caught a glimpse of what I’m capable of being.
I love making people laugh and I did that tons today. It makes me and them feel good. I just realized that God sent me today to answer and prayer/concern. I believe this because I was wondering, AGAIN, if I would be able to be okay with myself and just love life without constant worry overpowering me. Every day, I get closer to being who I want to be, and it’s so exciting, because the more I learn, the faster and faster I grow. Life is fun like that.
Today was also so wonderful because I sacrificed something I really wanted for myself four times! Four times I tried to take a nap, and just as I was approaching the end of my winding down activity, I would get a phone call from someone who needed something; it was like clockwork- like there was an announcement on the radio when I was available again. On one occasion, I was actually just falling asleep when the last person called. My mom would probably tell me I’m an idiot for choosing to do those things instead of sleep; “You know how you get!” she says to me. Oh well, I’ve decided I spent my time today the best way possible- in the service of others.
I know that my time spent with James is a big reason why my confidence is so high. I felt entirely too good today. There’s only one problem: I have no way to record what it felt like so I can remember it and replicate it later! It helps that more options for jobs have come my way, but James… I’m an idiot for not thinking he could do this to me. ‘This’ meaning he makes me feel like an angel. He believes in me. He’s excited for me when I race, makes changes in himself because he’ll love the response he’ll get from me. He chases me. He looks into my eyes without getting embarrassed and without judgment; kindness is what he sees and he returns it.
Yes, today was different. I never once doubted myself. I didn’t act in carelessness. I was kind to my mother the best I could be. The sound of Brennen’s voice from the front of the house made me think of how much I love him. My dad is getting up early tomorrow morning to get sweaty and greasy because he thinks his little girl should have the opportunity to race on Saturday. I told Mike Penkauskas today that he was awesome, and he said he wished he heard it from other people. How unfortunate that a man so giving doesn’t hear it often.
I love Katie. She means so much to me. Without her friendship… the things I could add onto the end of that sentence are as numerable as the stars. Without her friendship, hard times would have been spent alone, because I sure didn’t have anyone else to go to. I would probably have a dirty mouth. I would have graduated from Stockdale; I would never have raced. I probably wouldn’t have gotten a high GPA in high school, and I KNOW I would have been lost in terms of being high school literate -“What do I need that blue paper for?” “Where’d you do that?” “WHO?” J What a crack up.
Here’s something fun. I never knew how much fun kids were till I started teaching swim lessons. I never knew how wacky I could be! I’m just a big kid myself. Being goofy with the kids has made me comfortable to be goofy around everyone else. It’s GREAT! I kept doing dumb stuff accidentally that should have been embarrassing, and then whoever it was that was around would give me this funny look like, “Whoops, don’t you feel stupid?” THEN they saw MY reaction to my stupidness and was like, “Oh, it’s okay. She’s having fun.”
I have to say I know God has sent me these people, he’s helped me realize these things, and he sent me this beautiful day.
I love making people laugh and I did that tons today. It makes me and them feel good. I just realized that God sent me today to answer and prayer/concern. I believe this because I was wondering, AGAIN, if I would be able to be okay with myself and just love life without constant worry overpowering me. Every day, I get closer to being who I want to be, and it’s so exciting, because the more I learn, the faster and faster I grow. Life is fun like that.
Today was also so wonderful because I sacrificed something I really wanted for myself four times! Four times I tried to take a nap, and just as I was approaching the end of my winding down activity, I would get a phone call from someone who needed something; it was like clockwork- like there was an announcement on the radio when I was available again. On one occasion, I was actually just falling asleep when the last person called. My mom would probably tell me I’m an idiot for choosing to do those things instead of sleep; “You know how you get!” she says to me. Oh well, I’ve decided I spent my time today the best way possible- in the service of others.
I know that my time spent with James is a big reason why my confidence is so high. I felt entirely too good today. There’s only one problem: I have no way to record what it felt like so I can remember it and replicate it later! It helps that more options for jobs have come my way, but James… I’m an idiot for not thinking he could do this to me. ‘This’ meaning he makes me feel like an angel. He believes in me. He’s excited for me when I race, makes changes in himself because he’ll love the response he’ll get from me. He chases me. He looks into my eyes without getting embarrassed and without judgment; kindness is what he sees and he returns it.
Yes, today was different. I never once doubted myself. I didn’t act in carelessness. I was kind to my mother the best I could be. The sound of Brennen’s voice from the front of the house made me think of how much I love him. My dad is getting up early tomorrow morning to get sweaty and greasy because he thinks his little girl should have the opportunity to race on Saturday. I told Mike Penkauskas today that he was awesome, and he said he wished he heard it from other people. How unfortunate that a man so giving doesn’t hear it often.
I love Katie. She means so much to me. Without her friendship… the things I could add onto the end of that sentence are as numerable as the stars. Without her friendship, hard times would have been spent alone, because I sure didn’t have anyone else to go to. I would probably have a dirty mouth. I would have graduated from Stockdale; I would never have raced. I probably wouldn’t have gotten a high GPA in high school, and I KNOW I would have been lost in terms of being high school literate -“What do I need that blue paper for?” “Where’d you do that?” “WHO?” J What a crack up.
Here’s something fun. I never knew how much fun kids were till I started teaching swim lessons. I never knew how wacky I could be! I’m just a big kid myself. Being goofy with the kids has made me comfortable to be goofy around everyone else. It’s GREAT! I kept doing dumb stuff accidentally that should have been embarrassing, and then whoever it was that was around would give me this funny look like, “Whoops, don’t you feel stupid?” THEN they saw MY reaction to my stupidness and was like, “Oh, it’s okay. She’s having fun.”
I have to say I know God has sent me these people, he’s helped me realize these things, and he sent me this beautiful day.