Advice wanted * Doug * Exhausted
My firesuit came on Friday finally. I was talking to Doug when it came and when I tried it on. I had curlers in my hair too, and we took pictures and all that. Sponsors are going to love that one :).
Okay, I'm calling on people for advice here. I've always had the guy instigate the kissing. With other types of guys, am I supposed to do something to make it happen???
Anyway, I'm not asking that because of Doug....uhh yeah.
Well, he was supposed to wake me up this morning -by calling- but he fell asleep his mom's house and then had to rush home, change, and go to church.
He came over today and we went to Riverlakes Park to read scriptures. We read Alma 10-15 I think. They were all really good chapters. Doug liked the park.
He set it up to see me at break tomorrow. That means I'll have to be creative about how to ditch James again.
SOMETHING PERPLEXING
I act totally insecure and am not my best self around Doug- AT ALL. I mean, I feel like I'm boring and lame. And the guy still acts interested!! Then I'm wondering, "What kind of loser was his ex if he was about to marry her?" because I must be better than her if he's going for me...maybe.
Lately, I've been sort of depressed. I'm still smiling, but I get pretty low at the same time. It's like I'm happy and depressed all at once.
Anyway, I hope I get back to being relaxed and giddy soon. I hate these insecure feelings, worried sick feelings, feelings like I just want all this junk to end and start new. I hate feeling so lost about what decisions to make. My guess is that it's because I'm not as close to my Heavenly Father anymore, or it could just be that I'm getting older and decisions are SO much harder. Maybe it's a mix.
Okay, I'm calling on people for advice here. I've always had the guy instigate the kissing. With other types of guys, am I supposed to do something to make it happen???
Anyway, I'm not asking that because of Doug....uhh yeah.
Well, he was supposed to wake me up this morning -by calling- but he fell asleep his mom's house and then had to rush home, change, and go to church.
He came over today and we went to Riverlakes Park to read scriptures. We read Alma 10-15 I think. They were all really good chapters. Doug liked the park.
He set it up to see me at break tomorrow. That means I'll have to be creative about how to ditch James again.
SOMETHING PERPLEXING
I act totally insecure and am not my best self around Doug- AT ALL. I mean, I feel like I'm boring and lame. And the guy still acts interested!! Then I'm wondering, "What kind of loser was his ex if he was about to marry her?" because I must be better than her if he's going for me...maybe.
Lately, I've been sort of depressed. I'm still smiling, but I get pretty low at the same time. It's like I'm happy and depressed all at once.
Anyway, I hope I get back to being relaxed and giddy soon. I hate these insecure feelings, worried sick feelings, feelings like I just want all this junk to end and start new. I hate feeling so lost about what decisions to make. My guess is that it's because I'm not as close to my Heavenly Father anymore, or it could just be that I'm getting older and decisions are SO much harder. Maybe it's a mix.