Fic: The Difference Between Absolution and Redemption Epilogue
-0- BEGIN Epilogue: The Rest of Forever -0-
Whenever Jonas is missing for any length of time without answering his cell phone, the first place Eliot checks is the zoo. Jonas still isn’t over those damn giraffes.
It’s sometime in September when Eliot finds him there, sitting on the Jonas Bench, as he calls it in his mind. He’s watching the giraffes play. It’s still sunny, but cold enough that Eliot shrugs out of his jacket and settles it over Jonas’s shoulders as he sits next to him. Jonas and John both get cold easily and Eliot is forever losing jackets to them.
Eliot leans back and lets his arms rest along the back of the bench, one behind Jonas. Jonas is sitting forward, with his elbows on his knees and doesn’t acknowledge Eliot except to scoot a little closer to him.
Most of the time Jonas is pretty happy. He always has a smile for people, always has a terrible joke to re-tell that Eliot and John have heard a thousand times, but he hadn’t. Jonas is easy to please, and is as easy-going as anyone Eliot’s ever known.
The rest of the time he’s quiet. Jonas can be quieter than John. He has expressions filled with horror and shame and longing pain. Guilt oozes out of him. Eliot knows a thing or two about survivor’s guilt, and Jonas seems to be carrying enough for his whole planet.
The quiet times come without rhyme or reason. What annoys Eliot is the way Jonas almost never turns to him or John. Jonas tries, Eliot can tell, but most of the time it takes him missing dinner or him gone before they wake up to tip them off.
If Jonas isn’t at the zoo, he’s probably with Parker or Hardison or both. But the zoo is where he goes to be quiet and alone. It’s a funny place to pick, as dozens of people walk by every hour, but Jonas never seems to notice them. Just the giraffes.
The zoo closes at five this late in the year, and while the zoo staff lets Jonas stay late sometimes, Eliot usually doesn’t. Around four-thirty Jonas leans back and curls into Eliot’s side.
It’s times like these when Eliot thinks that maybe John wasn’t the only person in their relationship who needed someone else to look after.
Eliot moves his arm and settles his hand on Jonas’s head, combing his fingers through the long locks. Jonas has been growing it out since they’ve met, but Eliot thinks it’s about time for a haircut.
This is the fourth time in as many days that Eliot’s come to sit with Jonas at the zoo. John had cornered him that morning and all but demanded he talk to Jonas. They both know that out of the two of them, Eliot’s been the closest to where Jonas is.
“Are you happy?” Eliot asks.
Jonas takes a moment to answer, it’s almost a moment too long. Almost, but not quite. “Yeah.”
“Then I think that your people, wherever they are, are happy for you,” Eliot tells him. “It doesn’t matter that you’re living a different sort of lifestyle now. You’re still you, Jonas. And you’ll always be Langaran. No one can take that away from you, not even you. I think that no one would begrudge you this happiness. I think they’d forgive you, Jonas. I think they’d understand. You’re alive, and you’re happy. I really think that’s all they care about.”
“I don’t want Langara to die with me,” Jonas says. “Or with what’s left of my people.”
“How come you didn’t go with them?”
Jonas shrugs a little. “They scattered across the galaxy to different planets. Everyone I knew had perished, so I came back to Earth.”
“Why didn’t you stay on Langara?”
“Our crops were all destroyed, many of the livestock were killed, there wasn’t enough life left to support those of us who remained.”
“Are all of the planets in the Milky Way taken?” Eliot asks. He presses his lips to Jonas’s temple in an almost-kiss. Jonas shakes his head and leans further into Eliot. “Why didn’t your people choose to settle on one of those?”
“Many went to stay with friends,” Jonas tells him. “We were too devastated by the loss of our home to really do anything else. We were stricken, Eliot, in numbers and in spirit.”
“It’s been over a year, darlin’. Would it be so hard to see if anyone is willing to relocate? To rebuild Langara?”
Jonas is lost in thought, and it seems to take forever before he finally says, “I’d be gone a lot.”
“We’d miss you a lot.”
“I would want to help them rebuild,” Jonas says and Eliot feels his heart tighten in his chest. He doesn’t want to lose Jonas, not now, not ever. “I wouldn’t stay though. I have a home, here, with you and John.”
Eliot exhales and hugs Jonas close to him. “No one ever said you can’t have two homes, Jonas.”
Jonas turns and bumps his forehead against Eliot’s, tugging on the shirt that Eliot‘s wearing. John’s shirt. “I already do.”
-0- END Epilogue -0-
Master Post