Fic: More Than Who We Are (I Won't Tell Them Your Name); John/Cam
More Than Who We Are (I Won’t Tell Them Your Name)
One-shot
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis, SG1 or any of their characters or plots. I mean no infringement, this is for personal benefit only.
Fandom: SGA/SG1
Pairing: John/Cam
Word count: 1,209
Rating: R for slightly Raunchy
Summary: And now we're grown up orphans that never knew their names, we don't belong to no one--that's a shame. But if you could hide beside me, maybe for a while, and I won't tell no one your name.
Prompt: 03- SGA/SG1, John Sheppard &/ Cameron Mitchell, Free.
Author’s Notes:
- For stargateland Day Four
- Lyrics from Name by Goo Goo Dolls
*****
When Cam first meets him, he says his name is Chris. Chris is young, hot, and gives better blow jobs than all of the girlfriends Cam had back home. Chris is also quiet, never talks, and when Cam takes him out for dinner later, he has a look in his eyes that speaks volumes; no one’s ever taken him out for dinner.
The second time Cam meets him, he says his name is Paul. His tone dares Cam to deny it, but Cam just nods and tries not to call him Chris. He takes him out for dinner again, and this time drags him off to an ice-cream parlor for dessert.
The third time Cam meets him, he says his name is Will. This time Cam is sure that he remembers him, but he still doesn’t say anything more than his name. The sex is amazing and Cam has long had a rule about falling for one-night stands, but Cam thinks that sleeping together three times makes it more than a one-night stand. He offers Will his number, takes him to dinner again, and this time Will stays for breakfast.
The fourth time Cam meets him, he says his name is Chad, and Cam really starts to wonder what’s with all the different names. Chad doesn’t answer, instead he falls back onto the bed, letting his legs open and Cam loses his train of thought after that. It’s been seven years since he first met Chris, and Cam thinks that Chad isn’t really all that different. Cam is--he’s been through the Academy and assigned overseas, but Chad still smells like coffee and chalk. He’s still quiet, and he’s still the best sex that Cam’s ever had. Chad stays for the weekend, and this time he makes Cam dinner and buys him lunch. Cam’s not sure it’s progress if it took seven years to get there.
The fifth time Cam meets him, he says his name is Michael. But when Cam calls him Chris, he doesn’t say anything. And when Cam calls him Paul, and Will, and Chad, he answers to all of them. Cam’s starting to think that a set of quintuplets are pulling one over on him. Except that Michael knows things. He knows where Cam likes to be touched, knows what his favorite food is, knows that Cam keeps his silverware in the top drawer by the sink. Cam’s falling for him and he doesn’t even know his name. Before shipping out, Cam leaves Michael with his number, again, and his e-mail.
Michael, it turns out, isn’t adverse to e-mail. Even if all it says is When are you in town next?. Cam answers with three pages of text about his life, his family, his posting (what he can share), what movies he likes, and his favorite color. At the end he manages to remember to include I’ll be back in October. Michael e-mails back with a Call me when you’re back and a phone number.
Cam calls the next day.
The sixth time Cam meets him, he answers the phone with a quiet hello and no name.
“Chris?”
“Cameron.” Pause. “Is it October already?”
“It’s June.”
“Oh.”
“Can I call you?”
Long pause. “Aren’t we on the phone right now?”
“More than today, and more than in October,” Cam says.
There’s a long stretched out silence when all Cam can hear is Paul breathing. “Okay.”
Cam grins. “Okay.”
They hang up and Cam begins to realize how far gone he is on Will. He doesn’t even bother to ask which name is real, if any.
The seventh time Cam meets him, Chad doesn’t offer a name. It’s okay, though, because Cam has five names for him already, and since Michael answers to any of them, he figures one more wouldn’t really change anything. Cam’s stateside for good now. He’s taken a posting at Cheyenne Mountain and he starts tomorrow, but for now he has Chris.
Cam still does all the talking and Paul still lets him. He still smells like coffee and chalk and he still remembers exactly where to lick.
Later, when they’re sweaty and sticky and Will’s head is on Cam’s chest, Cam finally asks, “Why are you so quiet?”
“Nothing to say,” Chad answers.
“I’d listen to you read the phonebook.”
Michael laughs quietly and it’s probably the first laugh Cam’s ever heard of out him. He kisses Cam’s chest and reaches down to massage Cam’s balls. As far as distractions go, Cam thinks sex might be the best one. He rolls over onto Chris and forgets whatever he was going to ask next.
There’s no eighth time, because after that first night, Paul never leaves. Cam presses a key into his hand and he takes it. They move him in the next weekend.
It might be soon, too soon for someone Cam hasn’t spent more than a couple of weeks with, but there’s something about Will, and something to the fact that he seems to want it, too.
When his mom asks after that nice young man of yours, Cam’s careful to avoid using any name. He might be fine with using five names, but Cam thinks other people wouldn’t understand.
After a few weeks, Cam figures out that Michael works at a university, and that’s why he smells like chalk. (It took him one day to figure out that Chris is addicted to coffee.) He finds out about school when he catches Paul grading papers. He has glasses on and a look of pure concentration that Cam’s only seen when Will’s blowing him. It’s a little hot to see it on him not in the bedroom. After that he starts picking up little things about Chad. When he finds out that he likes Johnny Cash, Cam thinks he’s a little bit doomed because he’s in love with a man he doesn’t know the first name of.
The ninth time Cam meets him, they’re in bed. It’s their second year anniversary and Cam has a ring hidden in his jeans drawer, because everyone knows that the sock drawer is too cliché. Michael looks at him and whispers, “John.”
It’s painful and he looks like saying it hurts so Cam swallows back tears and nods. John, it turns out, is in witness protection. It’s why he has no family. It’s why he barely talks. It’s why there are three scars, all from bullets, on his chest and arm.
John says he was trying out names. Trying to find one that fit. Cam tells him that he liked Chris best, and maybe Will. He thinks John is perfect, though.
From then on, Chris, Paul, Will, Chad, and Michael all become John. And once that starts, everything follows it. John talks about movies and books and wanting to fly. He talks about freedom and what it means and how it’s been years since he’s felt it, but now, with Cam, he feels free again.
The tenth time Cam meets him is underneath a shaded arch with flowers twining around it; they’re both in tuxes. When John has to say his name, Cam turns the microphone off and by the end of the day John has a new name and half of it matches Cam’s.
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