Fic: Keep Breathing; Connor/John
Keep Breathing
Being Connor Sheppard-Davids
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters or plots. I mean no infringement, this is for personal benefit only.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: John/Connor
Word count: 2,079
Rating: Awesome *cough* NC-17
Summary: John gives Connor a Valentine
Warnings: Schmoop
Author’s Notes:
- For the Valentine’s Day challenge at stargateland
- Poem one is Sonnets from the Portuguese 43: How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- Poem two is Shepherd of my Heart by Johnny Cash
*****
John wrapped his arms around his husband’s shoulders from behind as he leaned down to kiss Connor’s cheek. “Almost finished?”
“Since you asked five minutes ago?” Connor returned with a hint of a smile. He turned his head sideways to look at John.
John schooled an innocent look onto his face. “Has it only been five minutes? Seems longer.”
“Why are you hovering?” Connor asked bluntly.
“Because I love you and want to spend every available second with you?” John guessed.
Connor shot him a look full of disbelief. “Uh-huh.”
“Well, okay, that and… it’s Valentine’s Day.”
“It’s also 1500 hours,” Connor returned, a smile in his eyes.
“Yeah, but today I have permission to be as gooey and romantic as I want to be,” John explained. “I want to make every minute count.”
“What’s your excuse for the rest of the year?” Connor asked with a smile.
“I’m in love?”
“You’re lucky I like you,” Connor murmured, kissing John’s jaw.
“So does that mean you’ll play hooky with me?” John asked hopefully.
Connor reached up behind him to hook a hand around John’s neck, tugging him down a little further. Their mouths met in a gentle kiss that made John fall in love all over again. When they pulled back, breathless, Connor met his eyes. “You’re perfect, John.”
John felt warmth seep through his body at Connor’s words. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
Connor blushed and kissed John’s chin. The screen in front of Connor’s desk turned off, and the linguist closed his notebook.
John reached down to thread his fingers through Connor’s. He pulled the other man up and caught him in his arms. His arms slid around Connor’s waist, holding him close. He touched their foreheads together. “I love you.”
“You better,” Connor said. “I don’t leave work early for just anyone, you know.”
John laughed quietly. “I’ll try to remember that.”
John stuck close to Connor as they made their way back to their quarters, his arm wound around Connor’s waist, thumb hooked into the top of his pants. They didn’t pass anyone, and John didn’t expect them to. No one else worked near Connor and everyone on their sleeping level would still be at work.
The door closed behind them and Connor slipped his jacket from his shoulders and John just stared. “You’re beautiful.”
Connor flushed a deep red. “You’re biased.”
John titled his head. “I don’t think so.”
Connor rolled his eyes but smiled. He reached out and hooked a finger into one of John’s belt buckles as he pulled John towards the bed.
John landed on his back on the mattress and Connor kneeled over him. His hands went to the bottom of his shirt and John licked his lips as Connor pulled it off. John tugged his own shirt off in response. Connor’s hands made quick work of John’s belt, sliding it out of the loops and dropping it in the growing pile on the side of the bed.
John kicked his shoes off and they landed with a thump somewhere near the foot of the bed. He toed his socks off and Connor’s shoes and socks went with his.
John’s fingers nimbly unfastened Connor’s pants. He slid his hands down the top of them, easing them off around Connor’s boxers, his hands sliding down the linguist’s cotton covered bottom. Connor leaned forward onto him while John worked the pants off of his legs.
In a smooth motion, John rolled them over. He shed his own pants and boxers before leaning down to kiss Connor.
His lips slowly moved against Connor’s, easing them open. His tongue gently caressed the other man’s. Connor’s fingers dug into John’s back and he moaned.
John’s hands worked feverishly to get Connor fully naked and the other man lifted up his hips as John dragged down his boxers. Before the piece of clothing even hit the ground, John was leaning back down to kiss the other man.
He rubbed their cocks together as he devoured Connor’s mouth. He loved kissing Connor, John would rank it high on his list of favorite things to do. He licked at the inside of Connor’s mouth, then sucked Connor’s top lip into his mouth.
He pulled back just enough to say, “I love you,” before he lowered his mouth again. And because John’s brain was high on endorphins it took him a minute to realize that Connor was tapping on his back in Morse code, I love you.
Once his brain was working, John remembered that he was supposed to be saying something. He pulled back a little and leaned down to nuzzle Connor’s neck.
“How do I love thee?” John whispered. “Let me count the ways.” He heard Connor’s breath hitch.
“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight.
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”
When he finished, all he could hear was Connor’s soft breathing and the thrum of his husband’s heart. John felt a little embarrassed at memorizing such a chick poem for Connor and he took a page out of his husband’s book, burying his face in Connor’s neck.
“You're the shepherd of my heart so treat it tenderly,” Connor began, his hands dancing softly up and down John’s back.
“It's a heart that needs your everloving care
You're the shepherd of my heart until eternity lead it not into the valley of despair
While it's in your keeping guard it with your love
Shelter it from harm along life's way
You're the shepherd of my heart and darling honestly
It's a heart that will not ever go astray
You're the shepherd of my heart so surely you must know
You have but to speak and my heart will obey
It's at your command my dear because it loves you so
So my darling shepherd guide it where you may
If it be green pastures or a rocky road it will follow you and not ask why
You're the shepherd of my heart until the trumpet blows
And I go to meet the shepherd in the sky.”
John swallowed thickly as he blinked back tears. “I love you,” he murmured.
“Tá grá agam duit, a chuisle,” Connor returned tenderly.
“Connor, I--” John cut off brokenly. “You’re my everything.”
He felt warn fingers card through his hair as his partner answered, “You’re mine, too.”
“I was never this sappy before you,” John said, finally sitting up. He stared down into Connor’s deep blue eyes.
“I was never this happy before you,” Connor countered. He traced a hand down John’s chest.
“I want you,” John breathed.
“You have me,” Connor promised. “Always.”
John leaned down again and their lips met. He felt Connor’s hands move away from his body and John felt inexplicably cold. He let out a soft noise of displeasure. Connor responded by sucking John’s bottom lip into his mouth, letting John pull in Connor’s top lip.
John didn’t even flinch when a finger slowly pressed into him. “More.”
A second finger joined it and Connor slowly moved his fingers in and out of John. John ground their cocks together more as his husband prepared him.
Connor slipped a third finger in and John had to hold back a whine. He nuzzled Connor’s neck again, licking at the smooth skin there. He felt cold and empty when Connor’s fingers left him, and he felt the younger man’s hand in between their bodies, slicking himself up.
John moved up a little and let Connor guide himself to John’s entrance before he sank down slowly.
“John,” Connor breathed. His eyes were wide as they met John’s. Connor’s hands came to rest on John’s hips, holding him tightly.
John rested his head on the pillow next to Connor’s. He loved this position, but he always felt kind of bad, because he knew from experience that it was a lot of work for the other person. Connor had never complained though, not that John ever thought he would. After two years of marriage, John still wasn’t sure which position Connor liked best, other than topping, if that counted.
Connor settled into a slow and lazy pattern, thrusting in and out of John with care. Small moans fell out John’s mouth with each thrust. John lost all sense of time as Connor filled him over and over.
It was only when Connor seemed to stop that John lifted his head long enough to ask, “Everything ‘kay?”
“Yeah,” Connor panted. “Sorry.”
“Want me t’move?” John asked.
Connor’s fingers tightened on him. “No. I just… need a minute.”
“Take as much time as you need,” John told him.
John was sure that you shouldn’t feel as sleepy and pliant as he felt, especially in the middle of sex with your husband’s cock deep inside of you, but he just felt so content that he didn’t feel bothered by anything. For once, John didn’t think he would mind if Connor just wanted to stop and they drifted off to sleep like that.
Then Connor moved again and John’s cock throbbed and he wondered what the hell he had been thinking five seconds ago, because he definitely wanted to be doing this.
“John?” Connor whispered in his ear. “This, um… I wouldn’t normally…”
“Yeah?” John drawled out.
“Are you even close?” Connor blurted. “Not that I--I mean, it doesn’t--I just--”
“I’m sorta just high on pleasure right now,” John confessed. “Sorry. I’ll, uh…”
“No, it’s fine,” Connor said quickly. “I don’t mind.”
And John was positive that Connor didn’t, and he loved him even more for it. “Can we just stay like this for a little while?” John asked. “Just you and me, like this?”
Connor didn’t say anything, but he pulled a blanket up over their joined bodies and John clung tighter to him.
“Am I too heavy?” John mumbled.
“Never.”
“Connor?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you, and it’s not just because you recited a Johnny Cash song to me in response to my Elizabeth Barrett Browning.”
He could practically feel Connor blushing. “I… thought it fit.”
“It did,” John agreed. “You’re amazing, and I love you, and thank you for marrying me.”
“Is leatsa mo chroí,” Connor murmured. “I love you, John.” [My heart is yours.]
Finally, John shifted a little and Connor took that, correctly, as a hint to resume their previous activities. At this point, John was so close that all Connor had to do was breathe and John would come, but first… “Tell me you love me, again.”
Connor didn’t even hesitate. “I love you, John.”
With that John let himself go and he came hard, his body clenching around Connor’s cock as he groaned and shook with pleasure.
He came down slowly and by then he could feel Connor’s hands running a damp rag across their stomachs. The rag gently wiped at John’s entrance, dipping in for a moment before Connor pulled it back and set it aside.
“Hi,” John said sheepishly.
Connor rolled his eyes fondly and wiped at John’s sweaty locks. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me?” John returned smoothly.
Connor kissed the side of John’s mouth. “You’re hopeless.”
John grinned and settled down on his back, tugging Connor down on top of him. “I made you something.”
“Yeah?”
John reached over into the bedside table and pulled out a handmade card. He handed it to Connor. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.”
On the cover was a terribly drawn heart and John watched as Connor opened it.
Connor laughed softly as he read aloud,
“Raspberries are red,
Puddle-jumpers are grey,
‘I love you, Connor’ is the most important thing,
I’ll ever say.”
Connor grinned and pressed a loud kiss to John’s chest. “My John, the poet.”
John smiled. “I try.”
“It’s wonderful, thank you, John.”
“You’re welcome,” John beamed.
“Beannachtaí na Fhéle Vailintín, a grá,” Connor murmured. [Happy Valentine’s Day, love]
