(no subject)
Well, I had a lovely entry concerning my insomnia written at 4AM this morning, until my computer crapped out once I hit Submit.
I hate going to sleep. Once I'm there, I'm golden. I love sleep. I never get enough of it, but I love it.
It takes me so long to fall asleep. I've been an insomniac since I was a little kid. I've always had this problem. :/ And it sucks. I don't like it. I hate it. It's not "cool." Lol insomnia. Lol not getting enough sleep to stay healthy.
I think too much when I lay down to go to sleep. About everything and anything. Stuff that happened during the day. Stuff that happened years ago. Last summer. People I spoke to today, people I haven't spoken to in years. People who are my closest friends, people I've never really spoken to. Random events. Things I've done, things I haven't done. Things I should have done. Things I will do. School work that is due. School work that has been due that I've never done. Commissions and other art to do. I make lists of what I have to do and yet haven't. And then I never do it. This sucks.
Got off the phone with the boy at 2. I hate it when that happens. A lot of the times when he gets off the phone, I'm usually tired myself and just turn over and go to sleep. Lately when he leaves, I'm still wide awake and for some stupid reason, that always makes it harder to go to bed. Laid in the dark with my bear until 3:30 doing the above. Got on the computer and bullshitted on LiveJournal, then got to this.
Buh. It didn't really help, either. And I really don't know why I'm admitting this. Eh, whatever. I guess I'll try again soon.
I miss him a lot. :( Like, an unimaginable amount of "lot."
Anyways, going out to dinner tonight with Marty for his birthday. Oooh, fondue. I've never had it before. I don't like cheese all that much though. May turn out to be relatively catastrophic. Oh weeeeeell.
This weekend is going to be a blaaaast, though. On Friday we're abducting shadow_reality to stay over, then we're going to the Bronx Zoo (my favourite place in the woooordl) with mindofwerc and thefinalflight Saturday. :D Sunday we're all chillin' like villains in the city and then going to see RENT. Yes, again. IF MY LOVE IS NOT THERE I WILL CRY ON THE SPOT. He's performing until July, though. So I still have chances to see him. Oh, how I love him.
Hooked up an old computer for myself today :D It's a mishmosh of DELL and Gateway pieces with...Windows 2000. Oh yeah, people. But at least I don't have to hear "IT'S MYYYYYYY COMPUTER" from Michelle whenever I use the laptop.
This desk and keyboard is making my tendonitis flare up like the SUN. It hurts SO bad. And I forgot my medication at school. I am the suck. :(
I hate going to sleep. Once I'm there, I'm golden. I love sleep. I never get enough of it, but I love it.
It takes me so long to fall asleep. I've been an insomniac since I was a little kid. I've always had this problem. :/ And it sucks. I don't like it. I hate it. It's not "cool." Lol insomnia. Lol not getting enough sleep to stay healthy.
I think too much when I lay down to go to sleep. About everything and anything. Stuff that happened during the day. Stuff that happened years ago. Last summer. People I spoke to today, people I haven't spoken to in years. People who are my closest friends, people I've never really spoken to. Random events. Things I've done, things I haven't done. Things I should have done. Things I will do. School work that is due. School work that has been due that I've never done. Commissions and other art to do. I make lists of what I have to do and yet haven't. And then I never do it. This sucks.
Got off the phone with the boy at 2. I hate it when that happens. A lot of the times when he gets off the phone, I'm usually tired myself and just turn over and go to sleep. Lately when he leaves, I'm still wide awake and for some stupid reason, that always makes it harder to go to bed. Laid in the dark with my bear until 3:30 doing the above. Got on the computer and bullshitted on LiveJournal, then got to this.
Buh. It didn't really help, either. And I really don't know why I'm admitting this. Eh, whatever. I guess I'll try again soon.
I miss him a lot. :( Like, an unimaginable amount of "lot."
Anyways, going out to dinner tonight with Marty for his birthday. Oooh, fondue. I've never had it before. I don't like cheese all that much though. May turn out to be relatively catastrophic. Oh weeeeeell.
This weekend is going to be a blaaaast, though. On Friday we're abducting shadow_reality to stay over, then we're going to the Bronx Zoo (my favourite place in the woooordl) with mindofwerc and thefinalflight Saturday. :D Sunday we're all chillin' like villains in the city and then going to see RENT. Yes, again. IF MY LOVE IS NOT THERE I WILL CRY ON THE SPOT. He's performing until July, though. So I still have chances to see him. Oh, how I love him.
Hooked up an old computer for myself today :D It's a mishmosh of DELL and Gateway pieces with...Windows 2000. Oh yeah, people. But at least I don't have to hear "IT'S MYYYYYYY COMPUTER" from Michelle whenever I use the laptop.
This desk and keyboard is making my tendonitis flare up like the SUN. It hurts SO bad. And I forgot my medication at school. I am the suck. :(