[challenge fic] Feelings (Lavi/Kanda)
fandom: D. Gray-Man
word count: 3 439
genre: romance
rating: R
pairing: Lavi/Kanda
summary: Kanda has just returned from a mission and Lavi’s worried and goes looking for/annoying him.
a/n: My first DGM fic ever. Usually I’ve written fanfiction in Finnish so this is the first time I’m posting anything in English, so bear with me. My friend gave me this challenge, originally in Finnish, but I decided to write it in English. Also, my first post in this community ^^ Posted first to dgrayman_yaoi.
challenge: leaves, red, blue, pineapple, “Lavi, no! Don’t even think -”, under the maples, Kanda must get grass on his hair
*
Kanda was sitting on the grass his eyes closed. There were leaves surrounding him, fallen from the maple trees. He breathed steadily and let his mind calm down as he meditated. He felt calm and peaceful and, at those times, all the worries and sadness and chaos seemed to disappear.
He usually preferred his own room to meditate but he knew that it was the first place anyone would look for him. He had just came back from a mission, rather badly injured, but had refused to stay in the hospital and be treated. He knew that he wasn’t healing as fast as he used to but he didn’t need the Head Nurse or Komui to tell him that, he was quite well aware of that, thank you very much. He just didn’t want them to look at him, then each other, with sad eyes and pity on their faces. And besides, he was used to deal injuries and pain by himself. He knew his own body better than anyone and knew what to do with it if he got hurt or sliced or shattered.
Kanda let out a silent breath and he was starting to feel better every moment.
“Oi, Yuu-chan, what are you doing here? You’re gonna catch a cold for wearing so little clothes!” Lavi’s annoying voice was yelling and coming nearer.
“Don’t call me that, you retard”, Kanda snapped back automatically.
Sure enough, Lavi had a point in his words, Kanda wasn’t wearing his Exorcist coat but his turtleneck shirt and a pair of long gloves. And it was spring, so, technically Lavi had a point of him catching a cold, too. If he could catch a cold, that is.
Kanda felt as the anger started bottling up and he was seeing red. Lavi. Just what he needed. He had had his moment of peace for what, few minutes, and then Lavi had to come and ruin it. Well, it was the redhead’s whole purpose in the world to make his life difficult, now wasn’t it. He opened his eyes and looked as Lavi was jumping towards him.
“If you know what’s good for you, you stop right there and turn back”, Kanda hissed and his hand landed to hold Mugen. He could see Lavi stopping and thinking just for a quarter of second before continuing his jumping. Honestly, didn’t his threats have any affect on the redhead anymore?
“Aww, don’t be such a meanie, Yuu!” Lavi complained. He landed on the grass with his back and lay next to Kanda. He crossed his legs and watched the blue sky. He could sense Kanda’s annoyance but decided to ignore it. It wasn’t the first time Kanda wanted to kill him and by this far there had only been attempts to castrate him and poking his eye out with Mugen, so he wasn’t that worried.
“What do you want, Lavi?” Kanda sighed.
“Do I need a reason to come and see you? Could it be that I just enjoy your company?” Lavi asked, supposedly wounded. He saw the warning glare Kanda gave him and laughed. “Okay, okay, I admit, who would buy that? I mean, not even the devil would enjoy your company and he’s the ultimate evil and everything”, he joked.
Kanda unsheathed Mugen and pointed it directly at Lavi. He had been practising meditating practically his whole life. He did it to calm himself down and to think. But it wasn’t helping since he was even more easily irritated than he was years ago. It didn’t take a lot: just one Lavi and he was out of balance.
“Jeez, Kanda, calm down”, Lavi snickered but had lifted his arms for protection.
Kanda considered a moment before putting Mugen away. “Just back off, Lavi”, he snapped and closed his eyes again. He really wasn’t it the mood for Lavi. Or for anyone else.
“Like I’m going to leave you now that I’ve found. Besides, you know I’m not easy to get rid off”, Lavi laughed smiling. He noticed that Kanda’s face changed darker, so he continued before Kanda could say anything. “Besides, I’m here to welcome you back. More than happily”, he added with a wicked grin and placed his hand on Kanda’s thigh.
Kanda threw Lavi’s hand away. “Che. Like I would go with your perverted ways”, he snorted.
He’s doing it again, Lavi thought. It actually annoyed him a lot. He knew that Kanda was that type of person who wouldn’t give up his pride, no matter what. And he knew that being with him, admitting that he liked the same sex was a big deal for Kanda as a man and as a Japanese. Not to mention, it wouldn’t be Kanda if the swordsman welcomed him with open arms and wet kisses. No, that wasn’t Kanda nor would he like Kanda if he acted that way.
What was really annoying and bothering was the fact that no matter what the situation was, Kanda always fought back, always made things harder and more difficult than they really were, always had to act like a complete asocial bastard. Of course Lavi was used to it: Kanda had been like that for years, ever since they had met. But one would think that Kanda didn’t have to act as hostile and cold with Lavi as he normally did with other or with Lavi while the others were around.
They had been together for almost a year now, shared a bed and a hell of a lot other things too. He had confessed his love to Kanda and Kanda… well, Kanda had said it in his own way. There were, in some occasions, light and tender touches, sweet talk and holding hands from both parties. It usually required a lot of work to get Kanda show his soft side but there were times Lavi succeeded in bringing them on the surface.
Having Kanda to himself had also required a lot of hard work. A lot. But Lavi had taken it as a mission, a very demanding and almost impossible mission. He had always liked Kanda, always enjoyed annoying and teasing him. It had hit him hard when he noticed that he was hard after seeing Kanda training half naked and sweat shining all over him. After that, he had started analyzing himself and how he acted around the swordsman. Then it had hit him even harder when he finally admitted that he might like Kanda, other than just sexually.
Getting Kanda to admit it… well, it was completely another story. A story Lavi wanted to save for his grandchildren. Or, actually, his friends grandchildren. Or any other children that might want to hear a love story. And a great love story it was.
“You’re an idiot”, Lavi pointed out before making his move. He tackled Kanda and pushed him on the grass, rolling over on top of him. He straddled the dark-haired man, took a tight grip on his hands and locked them over his head. Kanda struggled and kicked but Lavi stayed firmly in his position. He knew that if Kanda hadn’t been still recovering from his injuries and if the swordsman really wanted to get free, he wouldn’t stand a chance.
He liked to believe it was because Kanda really didn’t want to get free.
“What are you doing, you stupid rabbit?” Kanda hissed angrily.
“I haven’t seen you or heard from you in a week. And when you finally return, I get to hear that you’re injured and that you’ve sneaked out of the hospital. What do you think I’m doing, eh? I want to see with my own eyes that you’re alright”, Lavi said. He sounded angry and wounded, upset and annoyed. He watched Kanda with his visible eye and gave him a look that said “I love you, you stupid bastard”.
Kanda turned his head to avoid Lavi’s eyes. “Che. Baka. I’m alright, I’m always alright.” He tried to sound like he was stating the obvious and was trying to keep his voice unmoved and steady. His words ended up coming out with a mutter.
“Yeah, keep telling that to yourself”, Lavi laughed. A smile appeared to his lips as he watched Kanda. At the same time, he could feel that the body under him relaxed and that the giant gorge between them disappeared.
It always managed to surprise Kanda. The fact that Lavi cared so much and was worried about him. Of course he had concerns about the redhead, especially when they were on a mission together because those times he had an urge to help and rescue him. But Lavi didn’t need to be rescued nor did he, for that matter. And of course he would be worried when he’d hear that Lavi had come back injured, he wasn’t that cold. But Lavi showed so much emotion and said things like “I love you” that he wasn’t ready for. He wasn’t ready to take all that nor he was ready to give it back equally. Because he was -
Lavi’s smile widened and he lowered himself to kiss Kanda’s lips. The first touch was light and almost like a brush of warm air. He continued planting small kisses on Kanda’s mouth and let go of his hands pinned on top of his head. He cupped Kanda’s chin and opened his mouth, making the kiss wet. He licked the curves of Kanda’s mouth and slipped his tongue inside the parted lips.
Kanda should’ve been used to the situation already. Sure, he did welcome Lavi’s kisses and touches because his body seemed to like it. But his mind was completely another story: being with another man wasn’t normal, he wasn’t supposed to be with anyone or enjoy anyone’s company, he didn’t want to admit having feelings other than anger or hate. He was Kanda Yu, an Exorcist, who was feared and disliked. And he liked to keep it like that, he had no desire to let anyone think that he had gone softer.
But with Lavi, everything was different. He kind of liked it when Lavi pressed a kiss on his lips or on his forehead because it made him feel loved, he liked it when Lavi put his arms around him and hugged him because it made him feel safe and he was happy to be annoyed when Lavi called him by his given name or did the most stupid things because it made him feel human and being a part of something.
It was so much like Lavi and so not like Kanda, the whole situation. Kanda nearly laughed out loud when he realised what they might look like if somebody walked in on them: they were lying on the grass, under the maples with fallen leaves all around them, Lavi pinning him down and kissing him. It looked and felt surreal and was straight from a bad romance film with so many cliché’s in it.
“Missed you”, Lavi muttered against Kanda’s lips and pressed his hips against Kanda’s groin making him moan in surprise. Finally having Kanda under him, with him and willing, he would take the most out of it. He moved his hips back and forth, creating friction.
At first Kanda welcomed Lavi’s movements with great enthusiasm and kissed him hard. He moved his hands to Lavi’s hips making him move with the pace he wanted. After one leaf fell on to his face and he realised where they actually were, he stopped and ripped his lips away from Lavi. “I’m not doing this here”, he commented when Lavi looked at him puzzled.
He really wasn’t into any kinks like having sex outdoors and voyeurism. He knew that Lavi didn’t care: the redhead would just think it was exiting and different, something that would make great and funny memories. Lavi didn’t mind if somebody saw them but Kanda wasn’t ready to drop his dignity. Not yet.
“Like I’m letting you go now and give you the time you need to get back to your grumpy self”, Lavi objected. Too many times had he missed his chance to have sex with Kanda, or any physical contact, because Kanda hadn’t liked the place they were. Like that time in bath, or down the hallway, or in storage room, and the list would go on and on.
Standing behind his words Lavi kissed Kanda again, killing all the protest the swordsman tried to say. He ground their lower-bodies together, making sure he got Kanda hard and wanting. He noticed that Kanda wasn’t struggling as much as his words had suggested and it pleased him. His fingers wandered between them and found their way to Kanda’s pants. The zipper was easily dealt with and his hand slipped inside.
“Lavi, no! Don’t even think - Ah!“ Kanda managed to say and think before the wave of pleasure hit him. Lavi’s fingers wrapped around him and gave him a light stroke. He thrust his hips upwards trying to get more from Lavi. It annoyed the hell out of him that Lavi could do this to him so easily: make him this way, not being able to control himself or think clearly, with only a touch.
As he stroked Kanda, Lavi felt his own pants getting tighter and tighter. He was just about to push his pants down but Kanda beat him to it. It didn’t take long for Kanda to undress him and touch him with his talented fingers. Their kiss was getting messier and saliva was dirtying their faces. But neither of them could care less: they were both lost in desire and pleasure.
Quickly they matched each other’s movements and were stroking and rubbing at the same time, finding a common pace. It didn’t take much: Kanda had Lavi’s weight on him, their bodies pressed together and their hands in each other’s pants.
Kanda whimpered into Lavi’s mouth as Lavi let out an incoherent noise. They both came, messing their clothes and hands. They lay panting, their foreheads pressed together and gasping for air that they didn’t even notice needing just a second ago.
“Shove off, you’re heavy”, Kanda said eventually, his voice low but not threatening.
Lavi’s fingers were nibbling with their pants and zippers a he laughed. “Love you too, Yuu,” he said after getting them dressed. Then he snatched a handful of grass and threw Kanda with them. He was smiling as Kanda shot dead threats at him with his eyes.
“Baka usagi”, Kanda muttered under his breath.
Lavi continued laughing but rolled off of Kanda back to the grass. He didn’t go far: his elbows were touching Kanda and had Kanda’s hair under him. His dark hair had spread widely after their little show and had now torn grass all over it. That made Lavi laugh even more.
“Go annoy someone else”, Kanda hissed and got up. He cleaned his clothes and tried to get rid off the grass in his hair. He knew he must have looked like a mess because of his long hair and flushed appearance. He was annoyed but hated the fact that he didn’t sound like Lavi and his doings were bothering him that much. Because he was -
“You’re the only one I want to annoy, Yuu-chan”, Lavi grinned.
Kanda was feeling uneasy. He hated having these kinds of emotions that made him want to smile and be happy. He hated it because it wasn’t part of his personality nor did he want it to be part of it. But there was something about Lavi that made him act differently and want those feelings, even though he’d refuse to say that out loud.
The mission he’d had… it had been bad. Sure, he killed a lot of akuma and found the innocence and it had been a success. But he’d been hurt badly and was forced to remember what Komui had said to him about his time ticking, that he needed to be more careful and appreciate the life he had, to not act so carelessly. During that mission he had needed the power of the lotus to bring him back. And as he had lay there, bleeding and dying, he had remembered Lavi and all the moments he’d had with him. And it had hurt even more than dying: it had hurt because before Lavi he hadn’t really cared about his life, he had just devoted it to Black Order and being an Exorcist, to finding that one person… but then Lavi had came in to the picture and now he did value his life and didn’t want to die because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with that redheaded idiot.
And it was too much for him to understand and accept.
He had lost another petal. His life was nearing its end, just when he was starting to admit his defeat in getting rid of Lavi. He had been fighting and struggling, trying to deny any emotional attachment to the redhead. But Lavi had been persistent, even more persistent than he had been in running away.
“You okay, Yuu?” Lavi asked with concern. Kanda had stopped and was just watching in front of him. He’d never seen Kanda like that: as if he was being vulnerable.
Lavi had came to him, back then, saying all those nice things and trying to court him. He had done everything a man did to a woman he loved which had annoyed the hell out of Kanda. Black Order had almost lost one of it’s Exorcists after that. But even though he had threatened Lavi, told him no, getting a lot of missions to avoid him and done everything in his power to make it impossible for Lavi to get to him, he had failed. Lavi had not given up.
He remembered Lavi saying something about love conquering everything.
Kanda looked at Lavi and his eyes were a bit hesitant. He wanted to tell Lavi what he felt because he didn’t know when it would be too late. He wanted to tell Lavi because he deserved to know. Part of him didn’t want to tell Lavi so that it wouldn’t become real if he kept it to himself… but it was real, what he and Lavi had was real. And he was -
He was afraid of losing Lavi.
He was in love with Lavi.
“Aishiteru”, he muttered in Japanese, looking away.
Lavi got up faster than he had ever moved. He grabbed Kanda from his shoulders and pulled him close, crushing their lips together. It was more passionate and intense than it had been just a moment ago. It was also desperate and they were pouring all their emotions over in that one kiss.
When Lavi finally let go of Kanda, they were both breathing heavily. They were looking at each other, neither of them saying anything. But it was enough. They didn’t need words: they just needed each other.
“You know, I was starting to think you were unable to say that to me. But I guess you’re not as cold as you want people to believe”, Lavi whispered with a grin. He was being happy, happier than he’d ever been.
“Che. Just because I don’t go saying that to everyone, doesn’t mean that I can’t say it”, Kanda snarled. He was about to step away from Lavi but the redhead wouldn’t let him go. He sighed. “I say it when I mean it, not because it’s a common saying to most people.”
Lavi wasn’t sure he could smile any wider. “Aww, Yuu!”
“Shut up. Let’s go eat pineapples”, Kanda snorted and took Lavi by his hand and dragged him along. He snatched Mugen from the grass and kept as long a distance between him and Lavi as his arm allowed.
Pineapples? Lavi wondered. But he didn’t say anything because it was Kanda. And Kanda could be a very strange person if he wanted to: like act hot and cold at the same time without seeing the complexity in it.
*
word count: 3 439
genre: romance
rating: R
pairing: Lavi/Kanda
summary: Kanda has just returned from a mission and Lavi’s worried and goes looking for/annoying him.
a/n: My first DGM fic ever. Usually I’ve written fanfiction in Finnish so this is the first time I’m posting anything in English, so bear with me. My friend gave me this challenge, originally in Finnish, but I decided to write it in English. Also, my first post in this community ^^ Posted first to dgrayman_yaoi.
challenge: leaves, red, blue, pineapple, “Lavi, no! Don’t even think -”, under the maples, Kanda must get grass on his hair
*
Kanda was sitting on the grass his eyes closed. There were leaves surrounding him, fallen from the maple trees. He breathed steadily and let his mind calm down as he meditated. He felt calm and peaceful and, at those times, all the worries and sadness and chaos seemed to disappear.
He usually preferred his own room to meditate but he knew that it was the first place anyone would look for him. He had just came back from a mission, rather badly injured, but had refused to stay in the hospital and be treated. He knew that he wasn’t healing as fast as he used to but he didn’t need the Head Nurse or Komui to tell him that, he was quite well aware of that, thank you very much. He just didn’t want them to look at him, then each other, with sad eyes and pity on their faces. And besides, he was used to deal injuries and pain by himself. He knew his own body better than anyone and knew what to do with it if he got hurt or sliced or shattered.
Kanda let out a silent breath and he was starting to feel better every moment.
“Oi, Yuu-chan, what are you doing here? You’re gonna catch a cold for wearing so little clothes!” Lavi’s annoying voice was yelling and coming nearer.
“Don’t call me that, you retard”, Kanda snapped back automatically.
Sure enough, Lavi had a point in his words, Kanda wasn’t wearing his Exorcist coat but his turtleneck shirt and a pair of long gloves. And it was spring, so, technically Lavi had a point of him catching a cold, too. If he could catch a cold, that is.
Kanda felt as the anger started bottling up and he was seeing red. Lavi. Just what he needed. He had had his moment of peace for what, few minutes, and then Lavi had to come and ruin it. Well, it was the redhead’s whole purpose in the world to make his life difficult, now wasn’t it. He opened his eyes and looked as Lavi was jumping towards him.
“If you know what’s good for you, you stop right there and turn back”, Kanda hissed and his hand landed to hold Mugen. He could see Lavi stopping and thinking just for a quarter of second before continuing his jumping. Honestly, didn’t his threats have any affect on the redhead anymore?
“Aww, don’t be such a meanie, Yuu!” Lavi complained. He landed on the grass with his back and lay next to Kanda. He crossed his legs and watched the blue sky. He could sense Kanda’s annoyance but decided to ignore it. It wasn’t the first time Kanda wanted to kill him and by this far there had only been attempts to castrate him and poking his eye out with Mugen, so he wasn’t that worried.
“What do you want, Lavi?” Kanda sighed.
“Do I need a reason to come and see you? Could it be that I just enjoy your company?” Lavi asked, supposedly wounded. He saw the warning glare Kanda gave him and laughed. “Okay, okay, I admit, who would buy that? I mean, not even the devil would enjoy your company and he’s the ultimate evil and everything”, he joked.
Kanda unsheathed Mugen and pointed it directly at Lavi. He had been practising meditating practically his whole life. He did it to calm himself down and to think. But it wasn’t helping since he was even more easily irritated than he was years ago. It didn’t take a lot: just one Lavi and he was out of balance.
“Jeez, Kanda, calm down”, Lavi snickered but had lifted his arms for protection.
Kanda considered a moment before putting Mugen away. “Just back off, Lavi”, he snapped and closed his eyes again. He really wasn’t it the mood for Lavi. Or for anyone else.
“Like I’m going to leave you now that I’ve found. Besides, you know I’m not easy to get rid off”, Lavi laughed smiling. He noticed that Kanda’s face changed darker, so he continued before Kanda could say anything. “Besides, I’m here to welcome you back. More than happily”, he added with a wicked grin and placed his hand on Kanda’s thigh.
Kanda threw Lavi’s hand away. “Che. Like I would go with your perverted ways”, he snorted.
He’s doing it again, Lavi thought. It actually annoyed him a lot. He knew that Kanda was that type of person who wouldn’t give up his pride, no matter what. And he knew that being with him, admitting that he liked the same sex was a big deal for Kanda as a man and as a Japanese. Not to mention, it wouldn’t be Kanda if the swordsman welcomed him with open arms and wet kisses. No, that wasn’t Kanda nor would he like Kanda if he acted that way.
What was really annoying and bothering was the fact that no matter what the situation was, Kanda always fought back, always made things harder and more difficult than they really were, always had to act like a complete asocial bastard. Of course Lavi was used to it: Kanda had been like that for years, ever since they had met. But one would think that Kanda didn’t have to act as hostile and cold with Lavi as he normally did with other or with Lavi while the others were around.
They had been together for almost a year now, shared a bed and a hell of a lot other things too. He had confessed his love to Kanda and Kanda… well, Kanda had said it in his own way. There were, in some occasions, light and tender touches, sweet talk and holding hands from both parties. It usually required a lot of work to get Kanda show his soft side but there were times Lavi succeeded in bringing them on the surface.
Having Kanda to himself had also required a lot of hard work. A lot. But Lavi had taken it as a mission, a very demanding and almost impossible mission. He had always liked Kanda, always enjoyed annoying and teasing him. It had hit him hard when he noticed that he was hard after seeing Kanda training half naked and sweat shining all over him. After that, he had started analyzing himself and how he acted around the swordsman. Then it had hit him even harder when he finally admitted that he might like Kanda, other than just sexually.
Getting Kanda to admit it… well, it was completely another story. A story Lavi wanted to save for his grandchildren. Or, actually, his friends grandchildren. Or any other children that might want to hear a love story. And a great love story it was.
“You’re an idiot”, Lavi pointed out before making his move. He tackled Kanda and pushed him on the grass, rolling over on top of him. He straddled the dark-haired man, took a tight grip on his hands and locked them over his head. Kanda struggled and kicked but Lavi stayed firmly in his position. He knew that if Kanda hadn’t been still recovering from his injuries and if the swordsman really wanted to get free, he wouldn’t stand a chance.
He liked to believe it was because Kanda really didn’t want to get free.
“What are you doing, you stupid rabbit?” Kanda hissed angrily.
“I haven’t seen you or heard from you in a week. And when you finally return, I get to hear that you’re injured and that you’ve sneaked out of the hospital. What do you think I’m doing, eh? I want to see with my own eyes that you’re alright”, Lavi said. He sounded angry and wounded, upset and annoyed. He watched Kanda with his visible eye and gave him a look that said “I love you, you stupid bastard”.
Kanda turned his head to avoid Lavi’s eyes. “Che. Baka. I’m alright, I’m always alright.” He tried to sound like he was stating the obvious and was trying to keep his voice unmoved and steady. His words ended up coming out with a mutter.
“Yeah, keep telling that to yourself”, Lavi laughed. A smile appeared to his lips as he watched Kanda. At the same time, he could feel that the body under him relaxed and that the giant gorge between them disappeared.
It always managed to surprise Kanda. The fact that Lavi cared so much and was worried about him. Of course he had concerns about the redhead, especially when they were on a mission together because those times he had an urge to help and rescue him. But Lavi didn’t need to be rescued nor did he, for that matter. And of course he would be worried when he’d hear that Lavi had come back injured, he wasn’t that cold. But Lavi showed so much emotion and said things like “I love you” that he wasn’t ready for. He wasn’t ready to take all that nor he was ready to give it back equally. Because he was -
Lavi’s smile widened and he lowered himself to kiss Kanda’s lips. The first touch was light and almost like a brush of warm air. He continued planting small kisses on Kanda’s mouth and let go of his hands pinned on top of his head. He cupped Kanda’s chin and opened his mouth, making the kiss wet. He licked the curves of Kanda’s mouth and slipped his tongue inside the parted lips.
Kanda should’ve been used to the situation already. Sure, he did welcome Lavi’s kisses and touches because his body seemed to like it. But his mind was completely another story: being with another man wasn’t normal, he wasn’t supposed to be with anyone or enjoy anyone’s company, he didn’t want to admit having feelings other than anger or hate. He was Kanda Yu, an Exorcist, who was feared and disliked. And he liked to keep it like that, he had no desire to let anyone think that he had gone softer.
But with Lavi, everything was different. He kind of liked it when Lavi pressed a kiss on his lips or on his forehead because it made him feel loved, he liked it when Lavi put his arms around him and hugged him because it made him feel safe and he was happy to be annoyed when Lavi called him by his given name or did the most stupid things because it made him feel human and being a part of something.
It was so much like Lavi and so not like Kanda, the whole situation. Kanda nearly laughed out loud when he realised what they might look like if somebody walked in on them: they were lying on the grass, under the maples with fallen leaves all around them, Lavi pinning him down and kissing him. It looked and felt surreal and was straight from a bad romance film with so many cliché’s in it.
“Missed you”, Lavi muttered against Kanda’s lips and pressed his hips against Kanda’s groin making him moan in surprise. Finally having Kanda under him, with him and willing, he would take the most out of it. He moved his hips back and forth, creating friction.
At first Kanda welcomed Lavi’s movements with great enthusiasm and kissed him hard. He moved his hands to Lavi’s hips making him move with the pace he wanted. After one leaf fell on to his face and he realised where they actually were, he stopped and ripped his lips away from Lavi. “I’m not doing this here”, he commented when Lavi looked at him puzzled.
He really wasn’t into any kinks like having sex outdoors and voyeurism. He knew that Lavi didn’t care: the redhead would just think it was exiting and different, something that would make great and funny memories. Lavi didn’t mind if somebody saw them but Kanda wasn’t ready to drop his dignity. Not yet.
“Like I’m letting you go now and give you the time you need to get back to your grumpy self”, Lavi objected. Too many times had he missed his chance to have sex with Kanda, or any physical contact, because Kanda hadn’t liked the place they were. Like that time in bath, or down the hallway, or in storage room, and the list would go on and on.
Standing behind his words Lavi kissed Kanda again, killing all the protest the swordsman tried to say. He ground their lower-bodies together, making sure he got Kanda hard and wanting. He noticed that Kanda wasn’t struggling as much as his words had suggested and it pleased him. His fingers wandered between them and found their way to Kanda’s pants. The zipper was easily dealt with and his hand slipped inside.
“Lavi, no! Don’t even think - Ah!“ Kanda managed to say and think before the wave of pleasure hit him. Lavi’s fingers wrapped around him and gave him a light stroke. He thrust his hips upwards trying to get more from Lavi. It annoyed the hell out of him that Lavi could do this to him so easily: make him this way, not being able to control himself or think clearly, with only a touch.
As he stroked Kanda, Lavi felt his own pants getting tighter and tighter. He was just about to push his pants down but Kanda beat him to it. It didn’t take long for Kanda to undress him and touch him with his talented fingers. Their kiss was getting messier and saliva was dirtying their faces. But neither of them could care less: they were both lost in desire and pleasure.
Quickly they matched each other’s movements and were stroking and rubbing at the same time, finding a common pace. It didn’t take much: Kanda had Lavi’s weight on him, their bodies pressed together and their hands in each other’s pants.
Kanda whimpered into Lavi’s mouth as Lavi let out an incoherent noise. They both came, messing their clothes and hands. They lay panting, their foreheads pressed together and gasping for air that they didn’t even notice needing just a second ago.
“Shove off, you’re heavy”, Kanda said eventually, his voice low but not threatening.
Lavi’s fingers were nibbling with their pants and zippers a he laughed. “Love you too, Yuu,” he said after getting them dressed. Then he snatched a handful of grass and threw Kanda with them. He was smiling as Kanda shot dead threats at him with his eyes.
“Baka usagi”, Kanda muttered under his breath.
Lavi continued laughing but rolled off of Kanda back to the grass. He didn’t go far: his elbows were touching Kanda and had Kanda’s hair under him. His dark hair had spread widely after their little show and had now torn grass all over it. That made Lavi laugh even more.
“Go annoy someone else”, Kanda hissed and got up. He cleaned his clothes and tried to get rid off the grass in his hair. He knew he must have looked like a mess because of his long hair and flushed appearance. He was annoyed but hated the fact that he didn’t sound like Lavi and his doings were bothering him that much. Because he was -
“You’re the only one I want to annoy, Yuu-chan”, Lavi grinned.
Kanda was feeling uneasy. He hated having these kinds of emotions that made him want to smile and be happy. He hated it because it wasn’t part of his personality nor did he want it to be part of it. But there was something about Lavi that made him act differently and want those feelings, even though he’d refuse to say that out loud.
The mission he’d had… it had been bad. Sure, he killed a lot of akuma and found the innocence and it had been a success. But he’d been hurt badly and was forced to remember what Komui had said to him about his time ticking, that he needed to be more careful and appreciate the life he had, to not act so carelessly. During that mission he had needed the power of the lotus to bring him back. And as he had lay there, bleeding and dying, he had remembered Lavi and all the moments he’d had with him. And it had hurt even more than dying: it had hurt because before Lavi he hadn’t really cared about his life, he had just devoted it to Black Order and being an Exorcist, to finding that one person… but then Lavi had came in to the picture and now he did value his life and didn’t want to die because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with that redheaded idiot.
And it was too much for him to understand and accept.
He had lost another petal. His life was nearing its end, just when he was starting to admit his defeat in getting rid of Lavi. He had been fighting and struggling, trying to deny any emotional attachment to the redhead. But Lavi had been persistent, even more persistent than he had been in running away.
“You okay, Yuu?” Lavi asked with concern. Kanda had stopped and was just watching in front of him. He’d never seen Kanda like that: as if he was being vulnerable.
Lavi had came to him, back then, saying all those nice things and trying to court him. He had done everything a man did to a woman he loved which had annoyed the hell out of Kanda. Black Order had almost lost one of it’s Exorcists after that. But even though he had threatened Lavi, told him no, getting a lot of missions to avoid him and done everything in his power to make it impossible for Lavi to get to him, he had failed. Lavi had not given up.
He remembered Lavi saying something about love conquering everything.
Kanda looked at Lavi and his eyes were a bit hesitant. He wanted to tell Lavi what he felt because he didn’t know when it would be too late. He wanted to tell Lavi because he deserved to know. Part of him didn’t want to tell Lavi so that it wouldn’t become real if he kept it to himself… but it was real, what he and Lavi had was real. And he was -
He was afraid of losing Lavi.
He was in love with Lavi.
“Aishiteru”, he muttered in Japanese, looking away.
Lavi got up faster than he had ever moved. He grabbed Kanda from his shoulders and pulled him close, crushing their lips together. It was more passionate and intense than it had been just a moment ago. It was also desperate and they were pouring all their emotions over in that one kiss.
When Lavi finally let go of Kanda, they were both breathing heavily. They were looking at each other, neither of them saying anything. But it was enough. They didn’t need words: they just needed each other.
“You know, I was starting to think you were unable to say that to me. But I guess you’re not as cold as you want people to believe”, Lavi whispered with a grin. He was being happy, happier than he’d ever been.
“Che. Just because I don’t go saying that to everyone, doesn’t mean that I can’t say it”, Kanda snarled. He was about to step away from Lavi but the redhead wouldn’t let him go. He sighed. “I say it when I mean it, not because it’s a common saying to most people.”
Lavi wasn’t sure he could smile any wider. “Aww, Yuu!”
“Shut up. Let’s go eat pineapples”, Kanda snorted and took Lavi by his hand and dragged him along. He snatched Mugen from the grass and kept as long a distance between him and Lavi as his arm allowed.
Pineapples? Lavi wondered. But he didn’t say anything because it was Kanda. And Kanda could be a very strange person if he wanted to: like act hot and cold at the same time without seeing the complexity in it.
*