Oh, the trials of my life...
When the most difficult decisions boil down to this.
Continue to save money, work towards getting yourself a motorcycle.
(This is a rather strange fancy of mine. I despise cars, trucks, vans, and pretty much every form of combustion automobile. And yet, I am attracted to motorcycles, despite the fact I would probably kill myself riding one. Because I know no matter how safe I may be, every one in the world is out to kill me. I learned this as a pedestrian...)
Take the money I currently have saved, and build the most bitching computer I have ever imagined.
(I'm talking about dual processor, 1 kilowatt power supplies, liquid cooling, quad graphics processors and 4-8 gigs of memory, bitching. I am wavering on how much memory I will need. The only things setting me back on this, is the deep yearning for the shiny glimpse of false independence a motorcycle affords me. And the fact that this is not a good time to purchase new computer hardware.)
Neither of these are very practical investments in my future. One of them might kill me...then again, with a 1 kilowatt power supply and liquid cooling, both might end up killing me. I suppose there is always the option of really saving my money...or investing in something, I am certain my brother in law could guide me in that direction. May be even think long term, to a future when a shiny, aging computer, or a fast bike won't help me get a place of my own to live.
Fuck it all, I hate money. I hate having it, I hate not having it, I hate depending on it for my future, and my very survival. I don't want to spend it, but I want to consume. I don't want to consume, because it is all a waste. I want to think that, at 24 years, I don't need to worry about this, but the last four years have moved so quickly, and I have nothing to show for it but junk, and the occasional memory. It is so much easier to not think, and let myself fall in to the simple patterns of my day to day life.
And it is so difficult to avoid thinking about all the tomorrows I could have, the monotony of every days passing, and the inevitable changes that won't let me sit still forever.
And now for your viewing displeasure, shifty eyes!
>_>
_
Continue to save money, work towards getting yourself a motorcycle.
(This is a rather strange fancy of mine. I despise cars, trucks, vans, and pretty much every form of combustion automobile. And yet, I am attracted to motorcycles, despite the fact I would probably kill myself riding one. Because I know no matter how safe I may be, every one in the world is out to kill me. I learned this as a pedestrian...)
Take the money I currently have saved, and build the most bitching computer I have ever imagined.
(I'm talking about dual processor, 1 kilowatt power supplies, liquid cooling, quad graphics processors and 4-8 gigs of memory, bitching. I am wavering on how much memory I will need. The only things setting me back on this, is the deep yearning for the shiny glimpse of false independence a motorcycle affords me. And the fact that this is not a good time to purchase new computer hardware.)
Neither of these are very practical investments in my future. One of them might kill me...then again, with a 1 kilowatt power supply and liquid cooling, both might end up killing me. I suppose there is always the option of really saving my money...or investing in something, I am certain my brother in law could guide me in that direction. May be even think long term, to a future when a shiny, aging computer, or a fast bike won't help me get a place of my own to live.
Fuck it all, I hate money. I hate having it, I hate not having it, I hate depending on it for my future, and my very survival. I don't want to spend it, but I want to consume. I don't want to consume, because it is all a waste. I want to think that, at 24 years, I don't need to worry about this, but the last four years have moved so quickly, and I have nothing to show for it but junk, and the occasional memory. It is so much easier to not think, and let myself fall in to the simple patterns of my day to day life.
And it is so difficult to avoid thinking about all the tomorrows I could have, the monotony of every days passing, and the inevitable changes that won't let me sit still forever.
And now for your viewing displeasure, shifty eyes!
>_>
_