Cappies INTERnational Theatre.
Hard to believe, isn't it, that my last entry was a full year ago? But this year's CIT just ended today. Well, it actually ended yesterday, but Gabe and Lisa went home today. That was... not easy.
My dad woke me up at 8 this morning saying that because of some thwarted terrorist plot in London, security was going to be hell and instead of getting Lisa to the airport by 9, I should get her there by 8:30 (her flight left at 10:10). So I rushed through getting ready, told Gabe he could come if he wanted (he elected to sleep), and drove her to the airport through a fleet of police cars and pouring rain. She said she'd get through fine on her own and so I dropped her off at the front, feeling oddly useless as she walked into that commuter labyrinth alone. She's flown all over the place so I know she got through fine, but somehow I felt like I was abandoning her. I guess I felt bad because she and I weren't all that close -- friends, but not close like Ashley and I were. I drove home to an effectively empty house (Gabe was still asleep) and listened to The Argument (it's a song we did for Starz, and it's got this one haunting line that hit home -- "one thing we agree on is we don't have very long") and cried a little.
Then I slept.
Gabe and my brother played video games for a bit while I slept on the couch, then I helped Gabe finish packing. We decided what went in which bag, what was staying here and what he'd take home, whether which things should go in his carry-on or his duffel bag, made sure all liquids and gels were in his checked bag in accordance with today's rules because of the whole terror thing, etc. We decided I'd keep the Easy button for now. It was all painfully, achingly normal. I took him to the mall on a quest for a Nationals hat for his dad, which was successful, and for the Black label shotglasses we saw at the Spencer's in Fair Oaks, which was not. Apparently Black Label is a brand of cheap French Canadian beer.
Then we went on a final Chipotle run, heading for the Chipotle out in Centreville so we could visit Sarah afterward, but making a brief stop back at home so he could pick up the swim trunks and towel he'd forgotten to pack (all his other stuff was already in the car). He wanted a last hurrah of American portions before having to eat like a bird in Canada again, so he got a burrito AND tacos AND chips, while I got chips and a soda. He managed to eat all of the tacos and the burrito, but it was painful towards the end. He mentioned how disgusting it would be when his stomach filled up and food started to just accumulate along his esophagus, adding that that was when I should call the hospital. I said something along the lines of it being like watching a car accident -- it was so horrible, but I couldn't look away. I also told him to put the burrito down, that his life was worth living and he didn't want his family to remember him like this, eating himself to a horrible American-portion death. But he did it, and said through his nauseous stupor, "Remember me as a hero." I was surprised his body hadn't simply given up, though he had mentioned feeling his heart stopping in protest and briefly losing hearing in his right ear. Oh, Gabriel. We got a bag for the remaining chips and ate in the car.
Our next stop was Sarah's, which was quiet. Steve and Mayra had both shipped out early this morning, so only Mia was left. Gabe and Sarah cuddled, Mia and I read magazines. And Gabe and I recounted the story of being hit by a deer (I'll get to it), as well as reliving the glory of snake-wrangling. Gabe and I left ahead of the Pikes so I could get him through check-in and all that.
After a brief hunt for Air Canada's check-in counter (which is well-hidden), we found that, despite insane security measures and ridiculous lines, next to no one was flying to Canada today and we had to wait about twenty seconds to be checked in. I made sure he got his bags checked and they were going straight through to PEI (he had a layover in Montreal and I wanted to make sure that went smoothly). Everything went fine, and Sarah and I went as far as possible with him and Mia through the security line (Mia's flight was leaving at the same time as his, so we all met up there). He hugged her, he hugged me, and then we had to get out of the line, but Sarah and Mrs. Pike and I watched until they were both out of sight and through security completely. Then I drove home, sing-humming "Train to Massachusetts" and crying just a little. I read Discover for a little while and I curled up on my parents' bed and slept for four hours. It may not seem like it, but it's been a long day.
I guess I want to jot down memories of last night, too, before I forget everything. Last night was the final cast party at some pool out in Fairfax after the recording studio debacle. There was food and hugging and some repeating of the Kill Bill dance, and then we all sat in a circle in the parking lot making final speeches and crying and hugging, even though the cops came. We were there until 12:30, then I managed to round up everyone and pack them into the car. Sarah took Gabe home for me to collect later while I took Nathan, Matt, and Eileen back to Nathan's. The ride there was more or less silent -- we were all tired and sad, and I couldn't think of anything to say to make it better. Nathan dozed off on the way. I dropped them all off around 1:15ish, and we said our goodbyes in the driveway -- it's funny that pretty much the two people I admired most in the program were both staying with Nathan, so I had to do the most emotional/important goodbyes (aside from Gabe) right there at once. But Eileen is in Philly, not TOO far, and Matt's going to be at JMU, so I'll see them both again.
Lisa and I made the long trek back to Herndon and stopped for gas, where she moved to the backseat to sleep. The roads were so empty, it felt almost like the CITers were the only people in the world -- which is kinda how it's been for us for the last month. Driving out to Centreville was fine, though once we hit the backroads it was like a deer convention. I think we got to Sarah's around 2:45, where I called her and she sent him out to the car. We started back, chatting about this and that, seeing a million deer everywhere, driving carefully so I wouldn't get pulled over and get in tremendous trouble for driving so vastly beyond curfew.
As we turned off of Braddock road onto some random backroad that would take us back out to Stonecroft, we saw more deer on the side of the road and I slowed down to wait until they were safely out of my way. Once I was sure they were gone, I started driving again, BUT NO WAIT. One deer was RETARDED and darted back out in FRONT of me. Literally, it had started walking away from the road -- I had specifically waited and watched to make sure they were walking AWAY from the road -- and it turned around and RAN INTO MY CAR. Gabe will testify that it was the deer's fault, though he maintains that I hit the deer, but the deer was asking for it. I prefer to say my car was hit by a deer. Luckily, I wasn't doing more than 20 mph at that point, and it sort of scrambled-leapt over my hood unscathed. I slammed on the brakes when I saw it was coming back at us, causing Lisa to fall out of her seat and wake up, so there was a moment of confusion where Gabe and I were terrified because we'd just basically had a deer in our faces and Lisa had just woken up and the deer ran off into the woods. I think/hope it was alright, but there's no way to know. My car is fine. We got home around 3:15 and went straight to bed. And that was the end of that.
And now, a collection of memories/jokes from this year's CIT.
I smell toast...
Pancakes (and all the jokes that spawned from pancakes...)
That's how we do it in AMERICA!
Whatever happened to Polio?
Poutine
"That was easy."
Sudoku
Caucasia
Maple, Moose, Mountie, Marriage, Marijuana, Eh?
Canadian accents in general
"Oh, man, you even brought me boxers! This is better than Christmas!" -Gabe
"Too bad their baby has SIDS."-Matt
The sequel, Edit:Redo
KlonDYKE bars
Double-Whammy Tami
Does it hurt to be in the light?
I can't find you, you're wearing black!
Gabe doesn't take showers, he rubs ice on himself
"We don't use shampoo, we just rub maple syrup in our hair. Actually, instead of gasoline our cars run on maple syrup."
Gabe's finest piece of acting
You have LUPUS! Get your liver checked.
Mmmmm, really?
"I'm trying so hard not to judge!"/the judgement face
Qzy
Bill Strauss eats babies
Daddy Ice
Straussical the Musical
Drastic Plastic
Speaking of Judy Bowns...
The Chelsea movement
Ozi works at Chuck E. Cheese
Ozi's parents...
Davvid's two Vs
"I'm Brian Clancy"
"They drive around blasting hop-hip from their pimped-out autos!!"
Steve Lewis from St. Louis
Because I gave you LIFE! You are born again on the dolphin's back.
Eileen/Elian
iLeen
Fried Chicken & Wine in a Box
Horribly racist statements (running from the cops, hotter in africa)/"Fuck you, whitey" and "enjoy yo' trailer, honky"
The horrible racial misalignment of casting Mike as a Confederate soldier to sing "Hannah in My Mind"
The Mop tango
Photo op! *cha-chink*
Swedish chef
"Hey guys, I found these chips in the trash!"
(Katy's shirt says "Will Dance For Food") "Doesn't that seem a little ironic?"
That's fuckin' rude.
Thank you for not being retarded on the same stage as me.
"Can we drown Collin?" "You don't need to ask my permission."
Danna Banana
And SHIMMY!
Oozing. Jellying. -_O
Oh Mylanta!
I'm a COP!
"I've got a concept for the play I'll write for next year. It'll be about an author struggling with his work, and then his characters will come to life onstage. Totally original." "Awesome. I'm writing one about a funnel-cake man who dispenses wisdom to overworked yuppies."
"We can watch movies and eat ice cream and dish."
"But I'm Canadian!" "He's a homosexual, he admitted it! Arrest him!"
Meredith's foot
Stamp on it!
Put some STANK on it!
BoomCAT! BoomCAT!
Frida Kahlo
Slumber parties in the back of the auditorium
film discussions
Minerva and Beatrice, the Greek lesbian Jews who (spit spit) wash their hands of you
...And their friend Ruth, whose husband Mordecai has the cancer in his testicles but opens trail mix for her, and whose daughter Adell is a floozy and a painted lady with those short skirts and eats pork on the sabbath but has a voice like butter (better than Barbra Streisand)
It's not the Olympics, it's Saturday.
Thank you, God, that my wife has appendages
Our people crossed the desert to build the Parthenon
Arachne, the spider goddess!
"Markesha!" "Huh?!"
"Wha' dat mean?" & "Get tat!"
...and more to come as I remember them.
My dad woke me up at 8 this morning saying that because of some thwarted terrorist plot in London, security was going to be hell and instead of getting Lisa to the airport by 9, I should get her there by 8:30 (her flight left at 10:10). So I rushed through getting ready, told Gabe he could come if he wanted (he elected to sleep), and drove her to the airport through a fleet of police cars and pouring rain. She said she'd get through fine on her own and so I dropped her off at the front, feeling oddly useless as she walked into that commuter labyrinth alone. She's flown all over the place so I know she got through fine, but somehow I felt like I was abandoning her. I guess I felt bad because she and I weren't all that close -- friends, but not close like Ashley and I were. I drove home to an effectively empty house (Gabe was still asleep) and listened to The Argument (it's a song we did for Starz, and it's got this one haunting line that hit home -- "one thing we agree on is we don't have very long") and cried a little.
Then I slept.
Gabe and my brother played video games for a bit while I slept on the couch, then I helped Gabe finish packing. We decided what went in which bag, what was staying here and what he'd take home, whether which things should go in his carry-on or his duffel bag, made sure all liquids and gels were in his checked bag in accordance with today's rules because of the whole terror thing, etc. We decided I'd keep the Easy button for now. It was all painfully, achingly normal. I took him to the mall on a quest for a Nationals hat for his dad, which was successful, and for the Black label shotglasses we saw at the Spencer's in Fair Oaks, which was not. Apparently Black Label is a brand of cheap French Canadian beer.
Then we went on a final Chipotle run, heading for the Chipotle out in Centreville so we could visit Sarah afterward, but making a brief stop back at home so he could pick up the swim trunks and towel he'd forgotten to pack (all his other stuff was already in the car). He wanted a last hurrah of American portions before having to eat like a bird in Canada again, so he got a burrito AND tacos AND chips, while I got chips and a soda. He managed to eat all of the tacos and the burrito, but it was painful towards the end. He mentioned how disgusting it would be when his stomach filled up and food started to just accumulate along his esophagus, adding that that was when I should call the hospital. I said something along the lines of it being like watching a car accident -- it was so horrible, but I couldn't look away. I also told him to put the burrito down, that his life was worth living and he didn't want his family to remember him like this, eating himself to a horrible American-portion death. But he did it, and said through his nauseous stupor, "Remember me as a hero." I was surprised his body hadn't simply given up, though he had mentioned feeling his heart stopping in protest and briefly losing hearing in his right ear. Oh, Gabriel. We got a bag for the remaining chips and ate in the car.
Our next stop was Sarah's, which was quiet. Steve and Mayra had both shipped out early this morning, so only Mia was left. Gabe and Sarah cuddled, Mia and I read magazines. And Gabe and I recounted the story of being hit by a deer (I'll get to it), as well as reliving the glory of snake-wrangling. Gabe and I left ahead of the Pikes so I could get him through check-in and all that.
After a brief hunt for Air Canada's check-in counter (which is well-hidden), we found that, despite insane security measures and ridiculous lines, next to no one was flying to Canada today and we had to wait about twenty seconds to be checked in. I made sure he got his bags checked and they were going straight through to PEI (he had a layover in Montreal and I wanted to make sure that went smoothly). Everything went fine, and Sarah and I went as far as possible with him and Mia through the security line (Mia's flight was leaving at the same time as his, so we all met up there). He hugged her, he hugged me, and then we had to get out of the line, but Sarah and Mrs. Pike and I watched until they were both out of sight and through security completely. Then I drove home, sing-humming "Train to Massachusetts" and crying just a little. I read Discover for a little while and I curled up on my parents' bed and slept for four hours. It may not seem like it, but it's been a long day.
I guess I want to jot down memories of last night, too, before I forget everything. Last night was the final cast party at some pool out in Fairfax after the recording studio debacle. There was food and hugging and some repeating of the Kill Bill dance, and then we all sat in a circle in the parking lot making final speeches and crying and hugging, even though the cops came. We were there until 12:30, then I managed to round up everyone and pack them into the car. Sarah took Gabe home for me to collect later while I took Nathan, Matt, and Eileen back to Nathan's. The ride there was more or less silent -- we were all tired and sad, and I couldn't think of anything to say to make it better. Nathan dozed off on the way. I dropped them all off around 1:15ish, and we said our goodbyes in the driveway -- it's funny that pretty much the two people I admired most in the program were both staying with Nathan, so I had to do the most emotional/important goodbyes (aside from Gabe) right there at once. But Eileen is in Philly, not TOO far, and Matt's going to be at JMU, so I'll see them both again.
Lisa and I made the long trek back to Herndon and stopped for gas, where she moved to the backseat to sleep. The roads were so empty, it felt almost like the CITers were the only people in the world -- which is kinda how it's been for us for the last month. Driving out to Centreville was fine, though once we hit the backroads it was like a deer convention. I think we got to Sarah's around 2:45, where I called her and she sent him out to the car. We started back, chatting about this and that, seeing a million deer everywhere, driving carefully so I wouldn't get pulled over and get in tremendous trouble for driving so vastly beyond curfew.
As we turned off of Braddock road onto some random backroad that would take us back out to Stonecroft, we saw more deer on the side of the road and I slowed down to wait until they were safely out of my way. Once I was sure they were gone, I started driving again, BUT NO WAIT. One deer was RETARDED and darted back out in FRONT of me. Literally, it had started walking away from the road -- I had specifically waited and watched to make sure they were walking AWAY from the road -- and it turned around and RAN INTO MY CAR. Gabe will testify that it was the deer's fault, though he maintains that I hit the deer, but the deer was asking for it. I prefer to say my car was hit by a deer. Luckily, I wasn't doing more than 20 mph at that point, and it sort of scrambled-leapt over my hood unscathed. I slammed on the brakes when I saw it was coming back at us, causing Lisa to fall out of her seat and wake up, so there was a moment of confusion where Gabe and I were terrified because we'd just basically had a deer in our faces and Lisa had just woken up and the deer ran off into the woods. I think/hope it was alright, but there's no way to know. My car is fine. We got home around 3:15 and went straight to bed. And that was the end of that.
And now, a collection of memories/jokes from this year's CIT.
I smell toast...
Pancakes (and all the jokes that spawned from pancakes...)
That's how we do it in AMERICA!
Whatever happened to Polio?
Poutine
"That was easy."
Sudoku
Caucasia
Maple, Moose, Mountie, Marriage, Marijuana, Eh?
Canadian accents in general
"Oh, man, you even brought me boxers! This is better than Christmas!" -Gabe
"Too bad their baby has SIDS."-Matt
The sequel, Edit:Redo
KlonDYKE bars
Double-Whammy Tami
Does it hurt to be in the light?
I can't find you, you're wearing black!
Gabe doesn't take showers, he rubs ice on himself
"We don't use shampoo, we just rub maple syrup in our hair. Actually, instead of gasoline our cars run on maple syrup."
Gabe's finest piece of acting
You have LUPUS! Get your liver checked.
Mmmmm, really?
"I'm trying so hard not to judge!"/the judgement face
Qzy
Bill Strauss eats babies
Daddy Ice
Straussical the Musical
Drastic Plastic
Speaking of Judy Bowns...
The Chelsea movement
Ozi works at Chuck E. Cheese
Ozi's parents...
Davvid's two Vs
"I'm Brian Clancy"
"They drive around blasting hop-hip from their pimped-out autos!!"
Steve Lewis from St. Louis
Because I gave you LIFE! You are born again on the dolphin's back.
Eileen/Elian
iLeen
Fried Chicken & Wine in a Box
Horribly racist statements (running from the cops, hotter in africa)/"Fuck you, whitey" and "enjoy yo' trailer, honky"
The horrible racial misalignment of casting Mike as a Confederate soldier to sing "Hannah in My Mind"
The Mop tango
Photo op! *cha-chink*
Swedish chef
"Hey guys, I found these chips in the trash!"
(Katy's shirt says "Will Dance For Food") "Doesn't that seem a little ironic?"
That's fuckin' rude.
Thank you for not being retarded on the same stage as me.
"Can we drown Collin?" "You don't need to ask my permission."
Danna Banana
And SHIMMY!
Oozing. Jellying. -_O
Oh Mylanta!
I'm a COP!
"I've got a concept for the play I'll write for next year. It'll be about an author struggling with his work, and then his characters will come to life onstage. Totally original." "Awesome. I'm writing one about a funnel-cake man who dispenses wisdom to overworked yuppies."
"We can watch movies and eat ice cream and dish."
"But I'm Canadian!" "He's a homosexual, he admitted it! Arrest him!"
Meredith's foot
Stamp on it!
Put some STANK on it!
BoomCAT! BoomCAT!
Frida Kahlo
Slumber parties in the back of the auditorium
film discussions
Minerva and Beatrice, the Greek lesbian Jews who (spit spit) wash their hands of you
...And their friend Ruth, whose husband Mordecai has the cancer in his testicles but opens trail mix for her, and whose daughter Adell is a floozy and a painted lady with those short skirts and eats pork on the sabbath but has a voice like butter (better than Barbra Streisand)
It's not the Olympics, it's Saturday.
Thank you, God, that my wife has appendages
Our people crossed the desert to build the Parthenon
Arachne, the spider goddess!
"Markesha!" "Huh?!"
"Wha' dat mean?" & "Get tat!"
...and more to come as I remember them.