the songs he wrote for you
i love thinking about how much my past self would hate my now self. there's something so gratifyingly painful about it. and you think about sincerity and verification and the fact that you can't trust anyone.
and everyone is bored of the same old picture show
i have so much to do. what am i doing here. livejournal. hilarity. i miss everyone back home. there are some things necessary for my survival (sanity) and they just aren't here. it's quite problematic that i don't care about anything. i never realized quite how problematic it was until i got, "'sure' isn't going to get you anything." which is fine for me, since i don't actually care, but it's easy to forget that my apathy might actually have some effect on someone else.
I need to stay up all night. I really really do. I wish I had the stamina I used to have. I'm pathetic now. What am I gonna do with myself.
i wonder how many hours this year i've spent lying on my bed looking at my alcatraz poster and worrying if it'll take critical damage from hanging by one piece of tape on the wall. i forgot how awesome shuffle is. so much mellow music here. i'm so easily moved, so simple. he thinks he's special, unique for simplicity. false. i always wonder why i have so much pent up resentment there. why i have so little trust. why i think every move is something manipulative. intentionality. needy. when was the last time i was brave? let's fix that.
and everyone is bored of the same old picture show
i have so much to do. what am i doing here. livejournal. hilarity. i miss everyone back home. there are some things necessary for my survival (sanity) and they just aren't here. it's quite problematic that i don't care about anything. i never realized quite how problematic it was until i got, "'sure' isn't going to get you anything." which is fine for me, since i don't actually care, but it's easy to forget that my apathy might actually have some effect on someone else.
I need to stay up all night. I really really do. I wish I had the stamina I used to have. I'm pathetic now. What am I gonna do with myself.
i wonder how many hours this year i've spent lying on my bed looking at my alcatraz poster and worrying if it'll take critical damage from hanging by one piece of tape on the wall. i forgot how awesome shuffle is. so much mellow music here. i'm so easily moved, so simple. he thinks he's special, unique for simplicity. false. i always wonder why i have so much pent up resentment there. why i have so little trust. why i think every move is something manipulative. intentionality. needy. when was the last time i was brave? let's fix that.