hot chocolate
well hello there, livejournal.
it's 3:30 in the morning in the good old lounge. tonight i'll stay up. i've got some shit to figure out. paper to write, if i want to go make friends in linn tomorrow, chill with some gay boys, maybe do something with myself tomorrow.
i hate this school. i really do. i don't know why i'm at a place where academia means everything. i just don't care anymore. i'm getting a little numb again. even drinking is starting to be tedious. and everything is starting to feel habitual again. i swear, there were some good weeks in there, where my limbs felt lighter, but now everything feels the same. it hurts to think how much time has gone by where nothing changes, same lounge, same people, same work, same life. it hurts so bad to not care when everyone else does. i don't think i'll ever find someone here with the same blatant disrespect for academia that i do. and i know it's so hypocritical that i'm here. but. alex is talking to me and it's distracting. he's talking about some guy with a typewriter who doesn't change his socks and sounds like the most perfect hipster ever.
anywayyyyyyyy.
it's almost 1. I went to class. amazing. fell asleep on the couch. of course. awkward morning with the cleaning dude. don't want to write this paper. where is everyone to distract me? my legs are so shiny right now.
guess i'll worry about it later.
it's 3:30 in the morning in the good old lounge. tonight i'll stay up. i've got some shit to figure out. paper to write, if i want to go make friends in linn tomorrow, chill with some gay boys, maybe do something with myself tomorrow.
i hate this school. i really do. i don't know why i'm at a place where academia means everything. i just don't care anymore. i'm getting a little numb again. even drinking is starting to be tedious. and everything is starting to feel habitual again. i swear, there were some good weeks in there, where my limbs felt lighter, but now everything feels the same. it hurts to think how much time has gone by where nothing changes, same lounge, same people, same work, same life. it hurts so bad to not care when everyone else does. i don't think i'll ever find someone here with the same blatant disrespect for academia that i do. and i know it's so hypocritical that i'm here. but. alex is talking to me and it's distracting. he's talking about some guy with a typewriter who doesn't change his socks and sounds like the most perfect hipster ever.
anywayyyyyyyy.
it's almost 1. I went to class. amazing. fell asleep on the couch. of course. awkward morning with the cleaning dude. don't want to write this paper. where is everyone to distract me? my legs are so shiny right now.
guess i'll worry about it later.