"It's good to be here...it's good to be right where I belong."
I'm doing a follow-up to my last post. I don't need you to respond anymore. Because I just found a picture of us, and instead of feeling sad, I felt like I didn't even know who the guy in that picture was. I felt as if we really aren't meant for each other. No anger anymore, no hurt. A little confusion still, a twinge of nostalgia. But that's it.
Will this feeling that I have right now be permanent? Probably not. But I'm going to try to remember it every time the anger or the sadness creeps up again. I'm going to try to remind myself that all things happen for a reason. You were not meant to be in my life forever. And I, obviously, am not what you want.
Don't ignore the post before this. In fact, I still encourage people to read it. But know that feelings can be fleeting, that what I felt at 4:30 in the morning on Saturday is not what I feel at 4:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday. And that is the nature of emotions. They are, essentially, chaotic.
I am in total chaos right now. But that, I suppose, is okay.
And there are people, not better people or worse people, just people - who love me.
Maybe I should try to love them too instead of dwelling on you.
Oh, one more thing. Just a word of advice, if you will. When you DO admit that you like HER and stop pretending, remember this: don't lie to her. Don't hide anything. ANYTHING. You know what I mean. Be honest and straight forward, don't make up stories to cover up your embarrassments. Lies only cause problems and lead to trust issues. Be fair.
Lets take the best out of this that we can, okay? And in time (and I can say this for a fact now), once the wounds have healed and we're both better, I know we'll be friends. Just not yet. But at least now, I know that I want that. And I'm saying all this without tears, without emo-ness. Just with certainty.
So I'm sorry if I offended you with my last post. But man...it felt great to get it out.
Will this feeling that I have right now be permanent? Probably not. But I'm going to try to remember it every time the anger or the sadness creeps up again. I'm going to try to remind myself that all things happen for a reason. You were not meant to be in my life forever. And I, obviously, am not what you want.
Don't ignore the post before this. In fact, I still encourage people to read it. But know that feelings can be fleeting, that what I felt at 4:30 in the morning on Saturday is not what I feel at 4:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday. And that is the nature of emotions. They are, essentially, chaotic.
I am in total chaos right now. But that, I suppose, is okay.
And there are people, not better people or worse people, just people - who love me.
Maybe I should try to love them too instead of dwelling on you.
Oh, one more thing. Just a word of advice, if you will. When you DO admit that you like HER and stop pretending, remember this: don't lie to her. Don't hide anything. ANYTHING. You know what I mean. Be honest and straight forward, don't make up stories to cover up your embarrassments. Lies only cause problems and lead to trust issues. Be fair.
Lets take the best out of this that we can, okay? And in time (and I can say this for a fact now), once the wounds have healed and we're both better, I know we'll be friends. Just not yet. But at least now, I know that I want that. And I'm saying all this without tears, without emo-ness. Just with certainty.
So I'm sorry if I offended you with my last post. But man...it felt great to get it out.