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Today, we're going to try something a little different. I feel it is my duty as a blogger to provide not only with food for the mind, but with food... FOR THE BELLY. Luckily for all you, I can only give you this in the form of text. Recipes. Cause I can't cook for shit.... shut up, ApoplecticFittz.
While the recipes I give you will vary, they will all have one ingrediant in common. Cicadas. That's right, dwelling insides those hard crispy shells (which can be used in some recipes), are tender yet firm meaty bugs just waiting to be devoured. Since we are civilized though, we won't tear into them like cavemen or your neighbor's labrador. No, we will saute, sear, coddle, broil, bake, beat, blacken, and baste. I need to thank Livejournal's Incomple for bringing these winged delicacies to my attention. While I remember creating armies with their shells back in my youth, I didn't know much about the cicada. Since he's probably currently knee deep in the bastards... err, I mean "tasty ones", it only served his best interest to keep on an eye on the developing onslaught. For your enjoyment, here is the man in question at the beginning of the Cicada invasion, riding his neighbor's wolf hybrid to safety. Also, I've noticed a photo of Matt makes your comments go up.
Now, on to the recipes. I can't take credit for most of these, I found a message board on AOL totally devoted to the cooking and consumption of these miraculous insects. But I am using the power of blog to get them out and into the hands of intelligent people... do with them what you must.
BAKED CICADA PARMESAN
Yield 4 servings
4 cups FRESH Cicadas
2 cups boiling water
2 eggs
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 tsp seasoning salt
Salt & Pepper to taste
Vegetable Oil
1/4 cup sliced parmesan cheese
1/4 c grated parmesan cheese
1 jar spaghetti sauce
1 pkg spaghetti noodles
Boil water, place chirping cicadas in boiling water to "relax" them, as you would live lobster; remove with strainer spoon immediately after all chirping sounds have ceased. Run cold water over each batch as you remove from boiling water to remove any soiling from the "relaxing" process and place in a mixing bowl. Sprinkle with salt and set aside. In a small bowl, beat eggs and in another bowl mix flour with seasoning salt. Using strainer spoon, dip one batch relaxed cicadas at a time into eggs and then coat with flour mixture. Heat oil to 350 or set stove eye to Med-High (7) and test oil for readiness. When oil is hot enough, drop battered cicadas into hot oil, deep fry for about 3 minutes tossing in oil each minute to insure consistent cooking. Remove from oil and drain on paper towels. Boil spaghetti noodles until pasta is tender and doesn't stick to the wall when tested. Drain noodles and set aside. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Using a large baking dish, arrange noodles in bottom of pan. Pour jar of spaghetti sauce neatly over noodles and top with fried cicadas. Top chicadas with sliced parmesan cheese and bake until cheese is golden and bubbly. Serve with grated parmesan cheese and enjoy!
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I LOVE CICADA QUESADIAS. MIX ABOUT THIRTY CICADAS WITH CHEESE, HOT SAUCE, AND GREEN CHILIS AND MELT THEM IN A POT. THEN POUR THE CONCOCTION OVER A FLOUR TORTILLA AND PLACE ANOTHER TORTILLA OVER THE TOP. THEN PUT IT IN A 400 OVEN FOR FIVE MINUTES TO TAN THE TORTILLAS. YUMMMMM. MUY DELICISIOSO!!!
*Heather's notes: Thanks for the descriptive notes, Captain Helpful. _______________________________________________________________
Cicada cakes
4 cups of flour
2 tea spoon baking powder
1 cup sugar / artificial sweetner
1 tea spoon salt
1 table spoon vanila
1 1/2 stick butter or low fat cooking oil up to 1/2 cup
3 eggs well beaten
1 cup of mixed nuts or dried fruit
1 cup of the cicada insect DE- winged and legged
Mix all contents in mixing bowl until lumpy, preheat oven to 350 and bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown. You may use a 9" cake pan as well as a muffin pan but be sure to grease the pan or use the cup cake sheets. Icing is optional I usually use the German chocolate because of the extra nuts and coconut flakes. Makes about 2 dozen very high protein cup cakes or flatcake. My grandmother uses dried pineapple in hers and they were very good, but you can use apples or nuts blue berries or any other dried fruit.
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1st u buy some monty ok than u get some cicadaz rite than u cut tha monty in 2 slices of 5 than u cut up tha cicadaz up u put tha oven on high put tha monty in 4 1 hour than u bake tha cicadaz 4 30 minz with potatoez than mix tha monty and tha cicadatatoez than eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Heather's notes: U LIEK CICADAS??????!?? OMG I LIEK TH3M 2 THEY R SO YUMY!11!!!! WTF
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Atkins/Low Carb Cicada Chow
Take about 35 cicedas and throw them into a small bowl. Mash them with a potato masher until they have the consistancy of mashed potatoes and place on floured cutting board. Add 3/4 Atkins Pancake mix and 2 1/2 TBSP water and knead into a thick dough. Flatten to about 1/8 of an inch thick and cut into squares of the desired sizes, minimum about 1 1/2 inch square. Place a whole cicada in the middle of each square and fold them so that no cicada is visible. Fry them in Atkins oil until golden brown and let cool 3-5 minutes. Bon Apetite! (
*Heather's notes: I'm waiting for the Lean Cuisine Cicada Surprise, none of this low carb bullshit.
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Twinkies Ala Bug
Ingredients; 1 Pack of Hostess, Twinkie-type, snack cakes.
1 Dozen Cicada-type insects.
1 Can of Campbell's, Mushroom-type, soup.
Directions; Open the pack of snack cakes. Hold one of the snake cakes in your secondary hand. Use the index finger of your primary hand (or foot) to gently, force the first of your cicadas, head first, through one end of the snack cake. Stop pushing the cicada, when you feel the cream filling. Repeat this step, until you've forced the first six cicadas into the cake. Then repeat this procedure with the second snack cake. Grease a 10" cake pan with butter, or butter flavored shortening. Place the cicada filled Twinkies in the pan, then cover with your can of Campbell's, Mushroom soup. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.
Let the dish cool for 10 minutes, before liberally mashing with a potato masher. Continue blending the mixture, until it has the consistency of oatmeal. Serves two, or may be used to repair fine grain stucco.
*Heather's notes: I like this person.
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SOUTHERN FRIED CICADAS
Yield: 4 servings
4 cups FRESH Cicadas
2 cups boiling water
2 eggs
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 tsp seasoning salt
Salt & Pepper to taste
Vegetable Oil
Boil water, place chirping cicadas in boiling water to "relax" them, as you would live lobster; remove with strainer spoon immediately after all chirping sounds have ceased. Run cold water over each batch as you remove from boiling water to remove any soiling from the "relaxing" process and place in a mixing bowl. Sprinkle with salt and set aside. In a small bowl, beat eggs and in another bowl mix flour with seasoning salt. Using strainer spoon, dip one batch relaxed cicadas at a time into eggs and then coat with flour mixture. Heat oil to 350 or set stove eye to Med-High (7) and test oil for readiness. When oil is hot enough, drop battered cicadas into hot oil, deep fry for about 3 minutes tossing in oil each minute to insure consistent cooking. Remove from oil and drain on paper towels.
May be served individually as an appetizer, or serve with Cicada Rice Pilaf & Peas-n-Cicadas. Just prepare rice as usual and add boiled cicadas that have been sliced into three pieces with the heads removed for the sake of the diners' stomach. Cicadas have red eyes that are accentuated when cooked. To prepare Peas-Carrots-n-Cicadas, I use canned peas & carrots and add the boiled cicadas after cutting their heads off. ENJOY YOUR CICADA CELEBRATION!
*Heather's notes: Me and Jenny... we was like peas and cicadas