Life Is Like That
So you're just going along with your life and everything is cool and good and easy, and the life comes along and hits you on the forehead and you're like "Huh? What the.... where did that come from?"
Yeah, I had one of those moments Saturday and I'm still kind of reeling from it. See, Mom and I were talking about taking some college classes this fall, like German and maybe something else. Of course, we find out that NOC (which had German last spring, but I couldn't take it because of scheduling conflicts with biology lab) no longer has German. But that's sort of beside the point. So Mom and I were talking and looking at stuff on the Internet and she's like: "You know, your higher education and what you want to do with your life are totally up to you at this point." I know, I know, duh. But I guess I just didn't think about it that much before then, because suddenly it hit me. After this year I can pretty much do whatever I want with my life. Up til now my life has been pretty much planned out for me, you know. But now... I have to make all the decisions, I have to do all the work.... and I just totally freaked out. Not in front of my mom, I mean, but later while I was cleaning my room and thinking about it. Like what do I want to do with my life. I pretty much have no clue.
And just the whole idea that it's actually real and I am (by this fall) a senior and this is my last year as a 'kid'... being able to rely on my parents for stuff and all that. I mean, this past year has gone by so quickly, and I am so not ready for all this. I mean, I'm not sure I trust myself (actually, I'm quite sure I don't trust myself) to be in charge and in control of all this.
By Saturday evening I was feeling so much better after I remembered that, oh yeah, God is in control of my life, not me. And who cares if I don't have a clue what I'm going to do, He does (see Jer. 29:11). And yes, I am still slightly (maybe more than slightly) freaked out, but I'm just going to totally rely on God and follow His guidance, and it should end up pretty good.
As a result of all this, I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do next year. I mean, there are so many options... too many to even start listing. But I think I have maybe the tiniest bit of a clue what I shoul do next. At this point I do really want to go to college, and even a step further, I know I want to go to the Moody Bible Institute. I've also known (I mean since like 7th grade) that's where I would go if I do go. Of course, what I want to study there, I have no clue. Well, I've got it narrowed down to like four degrees (hah, and I know things change. I'll probably look back on this sometime and laugh). I'm thinking communications, missions, elementary education (teaching), or youth ministry.
To make things even more difficult, there is absolutely no where in the state of Oklahoma where you can take a national SAT. How lame is that? What test have I always been told I should take, have a studied for and practiced taking? The SAT. Apparently you can only take the ACT in Oklahoma. Of course, Moody accepts both, so it's not that big of a deal, but I've always just expected to take the SAT. So it's sort of a bummer. And if I wanted to take the ACT, I really should have taken it in June because the next test isn't til October. That will still work because I don't have to apply to Moody until after Christmas, but it would have been nice to have a little more wiggle room then that.
The nice thing is, if I want to take some classes at NOC (and I think I do), I have to take the ACT for them, so I'll be able to get familiar with it before October. I'm registered to take it July 12th (two days after I get back from Panama, whee) and I can't sign up for classes there until after I take the test. And enrollment started in June, so who knows if I will even be able to get the classes I want. But I hope I can; it's not like it's a big college or anything.
Heh, I'm sorry if you read all of that, pretty boring stuff, but I had to get it out somewhere. I'm trying not to worry about it, because it is in God's hands, but you do have to give this stuff some thought. So hopefully I'm thinking correctly. Honestly, I so don't feel ready to do this, and I would give anything to be able to rewind and go back to junior high or kindergarten or something. But here I am; I'll be eighteen in eight months, graduating next spring. I have to pray alot to keep that from freaking me out too much.
What I need to do right now is focus on this trip, and let my schooling wait til after I get back. And keep thinking of my sweet Jesus and His love for me. That helps alot.
Pray for me please, and mostly for my trip to Panama. I leave in a week! I am so psyched and ready to go.
SDG,
Katie
Yeah, I had one of those moments Saturday and I'm still kind of reeling from it. See, Mom and I were talking about taking some college classes this fall, like German and maybe something else. Of course, we find out that NOC (which had German last spring, but I couldn't take it because of scheduling conflicts with biology lab) no longer has German. But that's sort of beside the point. So Mom and I were talking and looking at stuff on the Internet and she's like: "You know, your higher education and what you want to do with your life are totally up to you at this point." I know, I know, duh. But I guess I just didn't think about it that much before then, because suddenly it hit me. After this year I can pretty much do whatever I want with my life. Up til now my life has been pretty much planned out for me, you know. But now... I have to make all the decisions, I have to do all the work.... and I just totally freaked out. Not in front of my mom, I mean, but later while I was cleaning my room and thinking about it. Like what do I want to do with my life. I pretty much have no clue.
And just the whole idea that it's actually real and I am (by this fall) a senior and this is my last year as a 'kid'... being able to rely on my parents for stuff and all that. I mean, this past year has gone by so quickly, and I am so not ready for all this. I mean, I'm not sure I trust myself (actually, I'm quite sure I don't trust myself) to be in charge and in control of all this.
By Saturday evening I was feeling so much better after I remembered that, oh yeah, God is in control of my life, not me. And who cares if I don't have a clue what I'm going to do, He does (see Jer. 29:11). And yes, I am still slightly (maybe more than slightly) freaked out, but I'm just going to totally rely on God and follow His guidance, and it should end up pretty good.
As a result of all this, I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do next year. I mean, there are so many options... too many to even start listing. But I think I have maybe the tiniest bit of a clue what I shoul do next. At this point I do really want to go to college, and even a step further, I know I want to go to the Moody Bible Institute. I've also known (I mean since like 7th grade) that's where I would go if I do go. Of course, what I want to study there, I have no clue. Well, I've got it narrowed down to like four degrees (hah, and I know things change. I'll probably look back on this sometime and laugh). I'm thinking communications, missions, elementary education (teaching), or youth ministry.
To make things even more difficult, there is absolutely no where in the state of Oklahoma where you can take a national SAT. How lame is that? What test have I always been told I should take, have a studied for and practiced taking? The SAT. Apparently you can only take the ACT in Oklahoma. Of course, Moody accepts both, so it's not that big of a deal, but I've always just expected to take the SAT. So it's sort of a bummer. And if I wanted to take the ACT, I really should have taken it in June because the next test isn't til October. That will still work because I don't have to apply to Moody until after Christmas, but it would have been nice to have a little more wiggle room then that.
The nice thing is, if I want to take some classes at NOC (and I think I do), I have to take the ACT for them, so I'll be able to get familiar with it before October. I'm registered to take it July 12th (two days after I get back from Panama, whee) and I can't sign up for classes there until after I take the test. And enrollment started in June, so who knows if I will even be able to get the classes I want. But I hope I can; it's not like it's a big college or anything.
Heh, I'm sorry if you read all of that, pretty boring stuff, but I had to get it out somewhere. I'm trying not to worry about it, because it is in God's hands, but you do have to give this stuff some thought. So hopefully I'm thinking correctly. Honestly, I so don't feel ready to do this, and I would give anything to be able to rewind and go back to junior high or kindergarten or something. But here I am; I'll be eighteen in eight months, graduating next spring. I have to pray alot to keep that from freaking me out too much.
What I need to do right now is focus on this trip, and let my schooling wait til after I get back. And keep thinking of my sweet Jesus and His love for me. That helps alot.
Pray for me please, and mostly for my trip to Panama. I leave in a week! I am so psyched and ready to go.
SDG,
Katie