The big "D"
Divorce. It's not that bad.
I mean, sure, it's not like taking a walk in the park, and I've been pretty down lately... largely due to the "holding pattern" I've been in with Troy and not knowing what is going to happen, if it is going to happen.
But now, I did it. I just said, "I have to make this choice and make it clear and go forward with it." and I did, and it's okay, and everything... surprisingly... is feeling SO much better.
We are getting a divorce. We are both fine with it, we have worked out the details. And he has stopped (at least for the time being) with his bad behavior. I think because he is happy I made the move. It removed all the pressure from him to do anything. He doesn't have to hug anyone now, and he didn't have to say he was so frightened of hugging someone he wanted a divorce.
He will pay for an apartment for me, most likely until Trajan is in school. We will have a shared vacation and holiday events with the kids, we already have decided on visitation times, and work out the details of everything else post Christmas in mediation.
This all will allow me to continue with school, building my business and being a stay at home mom, while leaving the kids in the best possible situation for a divorcing couple. Troy also gets most of what is important to him.
This can happen this way, I know it. People that tell you it has to be hell just aren't a determined as I am to make things right. It doesn't have to be hell. It's not easy, though, and I am a little sad.
I mean, sure, it's not like taking a walk in the park, and I've been pretty down lately... largely due to the "holding pattern" I've been in with Troy and not knowing what is going to happen, if it is going to happen.
But now, I did it. I just said, "I have to make this choice and make it clear and go forward with it." and I did, and it's okay, and everything... surprisingly... is feeling SO much better.
We are getting a divorce. We are both fine with it, we have worked out the details. And he has stopped (at least for the time being) with his bad behavior. I think because he is happy I made the move. It removed all the pressure from him to do anything. He doesn't have to hug anyone now, and he didn't have to say he was so frightened of hugging someone he wanted a divorce.
He will pay for an apartment for me, most likely until Trajan is in school. We will have a shared vacation and holiday events with the kids, we already have decided on visitation times, and work out the details of everything else post Christmas in mediation.
This all will allow me to continue with school, building my business and being a stay at home mom, while leaving the kids in the best possible situation for a divorcing couple. Troy also gets most of what is important to him.
This can happen this way, I know it. People that tell you it has to be hell just aren't a determined as I am to make things right. It doesn't have to be hell. It's not easy, though, and I am a little sad.