weird memories
after rooting through clothes in my closet, i took a break to look through my 'box of favorite stuff' that cait suggested i start keeping in high school. it's basically full of concert tickets, random hand-written notes, a couple of christmas cards, pictures, and some letters and emails. i sat and read a few of the letters and all of the emails. it's really weird how people's perceptions of me change. as it turns out, i've had a lot of people who really respected me. things change a lot. not that people don't respect me, but it certainly isn't the same. i'm really not whining, just observing. i'm curious how i was different then that made people want to pour their hearts out to me about how i changed their lives. it feels really foreign. for the first time in my life i'm actually starting to wonder if i would recognize much about the person i was a few years ago.
i have the feeling that i believed the nice things that people said to me then more than i do now. at the same time, it was more convincing then. what is that?
then i get to the emmy emails. and i feel like a complete jackass. and she called me on not being very perceptive. i was a 5 year old, and she knew it. but only partly, cuz who could have reasonably expected that i was such a kid.
so it has been a weird combination of feeling really important and really stupid.
what an odd evening.
i have the feeling that i believed the nice things that people said to me then more than i do now. at the same time, it was more convincing then. what is that?
then i get to the emmy emails. and i feel like a complete jackass. and she called me on not being very perceptive. i was a 5 year old, and she knew it. but only partly, cuz who could have reasonably expected that i was such a kid.
so it has been a weird combination of feeling really important and really stupid.
what an odd evening.