Big enough to wear pants
Oh god.
OH GOD.
So I'm futzing around online, waiting for my allergy meds to finally kick in and drive me deep into sleep when I see a big black blur come into my field of vision.
Oh good. It's another spider.
So I take an actual look at it.
...
Scratch that, that's one hell of a BIG SPIDER!
That was a spider big enough that I hesitated in squishing it. I hesitated a LOT, hoping it would disappear or run the other way or start talking spanish or something.
It was big enough that I know I'd be able to feel it through whatever I used to squish it (you know, that squishy grainy feel when you use something big to smush something not-so big and wearing an exoskeleton? That.)...but what was worse?
I had a feeling I'd be able to hear it squish.
And that, my friends, is a big ol' Do Not Want on the macrometer.
'Course, it was also big enough (and mean looking enough, all big and black and hairy) that I was afraid it might fall on my laptop; and manage to slip inbetween the keys and then from then on I'd be haunted by the possibility of typing along and then being touched by those long, creepy and hairy legs of it and OH JEEZ MY ICE CREAM WANTS TO MAKE A REAPPEARANCE BLAAAAAAAR. It'd be like seeing stray pubic hairs peeking out from someone's bikini.
NNNNNNG
Horror of horrors.
Right. So. Long story short (too late):
I didn't kill it.
That's right! I didn't kill it!
I threw my drinking water to my floor and trapped the icky bastard with it on the wall with the glass. I wanted to take a picture. OH HOW I WANTED TO, but my camera was too far away and I'd need to have at least one hand free, and there was no way in hell I was going to compromise the death-hold I had against the wall with that glass.
'Course, having it in the glass was bad enough. That spider went nuts, crawling all over the insides of the glass, spazzing against the wall and only decided to calm down after he went as close to the bottom of the glass as he could (right by my hand AAAAAAAAAH) and drink some water.
I watched it with a disgusted sort of fascination. Huh.
So I slipped a thin piece of paper inbetween the wall and the cup...and then found a big ol' piece of cardstock because I didn't trust that flimsy piece of normal-paper to be able to adequately contain the horrors within that glass and then ran downstairs, resisting the urge to shake that glass like a cocktail and then shove it in some hot, bleached water.
Instead I showed my cup o' doom to Caitlin and Jaime (who reassuringly told me that yeah, that was a pretty big spider) and then threw the glass in a planter on the deck.
I am now becoming reacquainted with the twins Heebies and Jeebies.
Which I can visualize as a pair of wonderfully adorable spider twins.
...Which I now must make out of clay.
Dammit!
OH!
HAPPY DAY-AFTER CANADA DAY!
OH GOD.
So I'm futzing around online, waiting for my allergy meds to finally kick in and drive me deep into sleep when I see a big black blur come into my field of vision.
Oh good. It's another spider.
So I take an actual look at it.
...
Scratch that, that's one hell of a BIG SPIDER!
That was a spider big enough that I hesitated in squishing it. I hesitated a LOT, hoping it would disappear or run the other way or start talking spanish or something.
It was big enough that I know I'd be able to feel it through whatever I used to squish it (you know, that squishy grainy feel when you use something big to smush something not-so big and wearing an exoskeleton? That.)...but what was worse?
I had a feeling I'd be able to hear it squish.
And that, my friends, is a big ol' Do Not Want on the macrometer.
'Course, it was also big enough (and mean looking enough, all big and black and hairy) that I was afraid it might fall on my laptop; and manage to slip inbetween the keys and then from then on I'd be haunted by the possibility of typing along and then being touched by those long, creepy and hairy legs of it and OH JEEZ MY ICE CREAM WANTS TO MAKE A REAPPEARANCE BLAAAAAAAR. It'd be like seeing stray pubic hairs peeking out from someone's bikini.
NNNNNNG
Horror of horrors.
Right. So. Long story short (too late):
I didn't kill it.
That's right! I didn't kill it!
I threw my drinking water to my floor and trapped the icky bastard with it on the wall with the glass. I wanted to take a picture. OH HOW I WANTED TO, but my camera was too far away and I'd need to have at least one hand free, and there was no way in hell I was going to compromise the death-hold I had against the wall with that glass.
'Course, having it in the glass was bad enough. That spider went nuts, crawling all over the insides of the glass, spazzing against the wall and only decided to calm down after he went as close to the bottom of the glass as he could (right by my hand AAAAAAAAAH) and drink some water.
I watched it with a disgusted sort of fascination. Huh.
So I slipped a thin piece of paper inbetween the wall and the cup...and then found a big ol' piece of cardstock because I didn't trust that flimsy piece of normal-paper to be able to adequately contain the horrors within that glass and then ran downstairs, resisting the urge to shake that glass like a cocktail and then shove it in some hot, bleached water.
Instead I showed my cup o' doom to Caitlin and Jaime (who reassuringly told me that yeah, that was a pretty big spider) and then threw the glass in a planter on the deck.
I am now becoming reacquainted with the twins Heebies and Jeebies.
Which I can visualize as a pair of wonderfully adorable spider twins.
...Which I now must make out of clay.
Dammit!
OH!
HAPPY DAY-AFTER CANADA DAY!