5 years
who this "rabid_mexican" dude and why is his LJ suddenly back from the dead?
i'll get to your questions later
last friday night was my 5 year high school reunion. i don't think any more than half of my graduating class attended. and i really don't know why. what would a reason be for not going? lack of success? not having a lot of friends in your graduating class? friday night i found both of the above to absolutely meaningless. everyone asks "so what are you doing these days" or something to that extent. but no one really cares. i talked to a kid (i shouldn't say kid...23/24 years old...not really a kid anymore) one GUY who's an executive at some big bank in boston, another who moved away after high school, and moved back to woburn a few months ago. and now, doesn't even have a job. and i for one look at them both the exact same way "hey man, good for you! nice to see you" the truth is, i don't think i could even name you a dozen people that i graduated with that i have kept even a little contact with. the majority of my friends in high school were either from work, or in different grades. and i think most of the people i graduated with are on the same boat.
of course you wouldn't know that by walking in there. my night was filled with high fives, hugs, kisses, BOB NORTON shots (yep that's right, BOB NORTON shots) and grind dancing. i'm not even sure how many bob norton shots i did, i lost count at 4, but i didn't pay for a single one..and no it wasn't open bar, what a bummer huh. the theme for me was, me and a bunch of people who i barely knew then, and know even less now, being the best of friends for one evening. quira, by the way, was a total sweetheart of a date, everyone i saw she said "hi! i'm quira! what's your name" a little something she planned ahead of time after i told her there were a lot of people i wouldn't recognise....a LOT of people
but this entry isn't about the reunion itself. it's abuot 5 years... FIVE YEARS MAN! where does the time go? and i say that, half meaning it and half not. it's been such a long time, and such a short time. all at once. there are aspects of 5 years ago that i remember like yesterday. katie, for instance. i havent seen in YEARS. but we pretty much picked up where we left off "how's mom, how's your brother. we're getting closer and closer to our wedding when we're 30" all that fun stuff. old friends like my darling are just as familiar as every day life. meanwhile, in comes the girl that sat next to me in homeroom for 4 years and i don't even recognise her...at all. strange huh?
i have since been trying to look back at who i was 5 years ago. awhile back i came up with a question. a simple thing to ask myself from time to time
flash back to the past. it can be 15 years or 15 days, doesn't really matter. look through the eyes of your past, to who you are now. what do you think?
it's something i do CONSTANTLY and it's funny because i remember being a child, being 14, and trying to look ahead to 24. wondering where i'd be. what i'd be doing, if i'd be happy. how much i'd change. i've gotta tell ya, my vision of myself compared to who i am now, i wasn't far off
but forget 14. we're talking about 18-19 5 years. well i still eat pizza like it's my job. still spend hours on my bike. i still have a CRX (though in 05 i got a different one) that i'm madly in love with. i still laugh ALL THE TIME. and i'm still ugly as sin (though not to the extent that i was)
so what's changed then? only my entire outlook! at age 19 i was the very definition of struggling college student. i'd get no sleep because i'd be doing homework all night. i'd go to class from 7-3 and have just enough time to go home and change before working 4-11....EVERY DAY. my ar would sit in the driveway for weeks because i couldn't afford gas. i'd eat one, maybe 2 meals a day, because that was what i could afford. i fought through it for 2 years, miserable all the way, knowing i was working towards a better life. i learned the hard way, however. that life does not get better after college. for me it got much worse. i was looking at dealerships at potential jobs when i lost my license in august. for 4 whole years. given the situation, i gave up on my career as a tech, and accepted the fact that my thousands of dollars and 2 years of working my butt off, had been all but wasted. hopped on my bike and dragged ass to work at target every day. for a long time i BEGGED to go back to being the miserable struggling college student i was before.
it was during this time that i developed my "i don't care about anything" attitude. now an attitude like that, combined with being depressed and having nothing to lose, you'd think would amount to real trouble. it actually did just the opposite. a carelessly drained my savings, all but about a grand, which i used as spending money. and boughty myself a 1st class ticket to cancun. for a week i lived like a king. i came home with a smile of my face, but the very same attitude. they say your attitude really defines who you are as a person. i think they're right. i got this great idea. fake cofidence. see, the idea behind it was, if you're going into a situation and you're almopst sure you're going to fail. then why even be nervous. why not enjoy it. within 4 months, as a result of my ingenious little theory, i had finally escaped the 2 things i'd been longing for so long to escape. being single, and being at target. i had myself a sweet new job.some money, a sweet little girl by my side. and i was going to celebrate it all with my new love. TRAVELING
i went to mexico for a whole month. this month, though i didn't know it, would help lead to the demise of claire and i's relationship. during that month i learned what it was to be happy, all by myself. i also realized that, somewhere down the line. my little idea of fake confidence had made the transition to REAL confidence.
last november, just over a year ago. was the breakup. it was tough. it definately got me down. but it made me focus even more on what i'd, at age 22, only just started to do. LIVING
i traveled once again 1st class to mexico. then to florida. then to spain. when i came home from spain i did the ultimate. i finally bought my corvette. now i don't think people realize just what this corvette means to me. i love my other car, LOVE IT. but this isn't just a nice car i bought. it's not just the muscle car i was set on buying for a couple of years before. this is the one. literally, for as long as i can remember, i've wanted a stingray. i can honsetly say there isn't any time in my life that i can recall, where i didn't have the ultimate dream of owning a stingray. but did i use it at allover the summer? barely. i was too busy getting in the best physical shape of my life. biking well over 100 miles a week. some days leaving at about 9 in the morning and getting home at about 11 that night.
in july i went to a party and fullfilled another lifelong dream, one that i never though i'd achieve. i hooked up with an amazing girl who i'd just that night met. something that 5 years ago, i wouldn't have even dared try. the next morning i kissed her goodbye, went out on the back porch, lit myself a cigar and said "man...if Dan from 5 years ago could see me now. i am so in love with where i am and who i've become"
...so yea, that pretty much sums up what i've done in the last 5 years.
...5 years...
what about you?
i'll get to your questions later
last friday night was my 5 year high school reunion. i don't think any more than half of my graduating class attended. and i really don't know why. what would a reason be for not going? lack of success? not having a lot of friends in your graduating class? friday night i found both of the above to absolutely meaningless. everyone asks "so what are you doing these days" or something to that extent. but no one really cares. i talked to a kid (i shouldn't say kid...23/24 years old...not really a kid anymore) one GUY who's an executive at some big bank in boston, another who moved away after high school, and moved back to woburn a few months ago. and now, doesn't even have a job. and i for one look at them both the exact same way "hey man, good for you! nice to see you" the truth is, i don't think i could even name you a dozen people that i graduated with that i have kept even a little contact with. the majority of my friends in high school were either from work, or in different grades. and i think most of the people i graduated with are on the same boat.
of course you wouldn't know that by walking in there. my night was filled with high fives, hugs, kisses, BOB NORTON shots (yep that's right, BOB NORTON shots) and grind dancing. i'm not even sure how many bob norton shots i did, i lost count at 4, but i didn't pay for a single one..and no it wasn't open bar, what a bummer huh. the theme for me was, me and a bunch of people who i barely knew then, and know even less now, being the best of friends for one evening. quira, by the way, was a total sweetheart of a date, everyone i saw she said "hi! i'm quira! what's your name" a little something she planned ahead of time after i told her there were a lot of people i wouldn't recognise....a LOT of people
but this entry isn't about the reunion itself. it's abuot 5 years... FIVE YEARS MAN! where does the time go? and i say that, half meaning it and half not. it's been such a long time, and such a short time. all at once. there are aspects of 5 years ago that i remember like yesterday. katie, for instance. i havent seen in YEARS. but we pretty much picked up where we left off "how's mom, how's your brother. we're getting closer and closer to our wedding when we're 30" all that fun stuff. old friends like my darling are just as familiar as every day life. meanwhile, in comes the girl that sat next to me in homeroom for 4 years and i don't even recognise her...at all. strange huh?
i have since been trying to look back at who i was 5 years ago. awhile back i came up with a question. a simple thing to ask myself from time to time
flash back to the past. it can be 15 years or 15 days, doesn't really matter. look through the eyes of your past, to who you are now. what do you think?
it's something i do CONSTANTLY and it's funny because i remember being a child, being 14, and trying to look ahead to 24. wondering where i'd be. what i'd be doing, if i'd be happy. how much i'd change. i've gotta tell ya, my vision of myself compared to who i am now, i wasn't far off
but forget 14. we're talking about 18-19 5 years. well i still eat pizza like it's my job. still spend hours on my bike. i still have a CRX (though in 05 i got a different one) that i'm madly in love with. i still laugh ALL THE TIME. and i'm still ugly as sin (though not to the extent that i was)
so what's changed then? only my entire outlook! at age 19 i was the very definition of struggling college student. i'd get no sleep because i'd be doing homework all night. i'd go to class from 7-3 and have just enough time to go home and change before working 4-11....EVERY DAY. my ar would sit in the driveway for weeks because i couldn't afford gas. i'd eat one, maybe 2 meals a day, because that was what i could afford. i fought through it for 2 years, miserable all the way, knowing i was working towards a better life. i learned the hard way, however. that life does not get better after college. for me it got much worse. i was looking at dealerships at potential jobs when i lost my license in august. for 4 whole years. given the situation, i gave up on my career as a tech, and accepted the fact that my thousands of dollars and 2 years of working my butt off, had been all but wasted. hopped on my bike and dragged ass to work at target every day. for a long time i BEGGED to go back to being the miserable struggling college student i was before.
it was during this time that i developed my "i don't care about anything" attitude. now an attitude like that, combined with being depressed and having nothing to lose, you'd think would amount to real trouble. it actually did just the opposite. a carelessly drained my savings, all but about a grand, which i used as spending money. and boughty myself a 1st class ticket to cancun. for a week i lived like a king. i came home with a smile of my face, but the very same attitude. they say your attitude really defines who you are as a person. i think they're right. i got this great idea. fake cofidence. see, the idea behind it was, if you're going into a situation and you're almopst sure you're going to fail. then why even be nervous. why not enjoy it. within 4 months, as a result of my ingenious little theory, i had finally escaped the 2 things i'd been longing for so long to escape. being single, and being at target. i had myself a sweet new job.some money, a sweet little girl by my side. and i was going to celebrate it all with my new love. TRAVELING
i went to mexico for a whole month. this month, though i didn't know it, would help lead to the demise of claire and i's relationship. during that month i learned what it was to be happy, all by myself. i also realized that, somewhere down the line. my little idea of fake confidence had made the transition to REAL confidence.
last november, just over a year ago. was the breakup. it was tough. it definately got me down. but it made me focus even more on what i'd, at age 22, only just started to do. LIVING
i traveled once again 1st class to mexico. then to florida. then to spain. when i came home from spain i did the ultimate. i finally bought my corvette. now i don't think people realize just what this corvette means to me. i love my other car, LOVE IT. but this isn't just a nice car i bought. it's not just the muscle car i was set on buying for a couple of years before. this is the one. literally, for as long as i can remember, i've wanted a stingray. i can honsetly say there isn't any time in my life that i can recall, where i didn't have the ultimate dream of owning a stingray. but did i use it at allover the summer? barely. i was too busy getting in the best physical shape of my life. biking well over 100 miles a week. some days leaving at about 9 in the morning and getting home at about 11 that night.
in july i went to a party and fullfilled another lifelong dream, one that i never though i'd achieve. i hooked up with an amazing girl who i'd just that night met. something that 5 years ago, i wouldn't have even dared try. the next morning i kissed her goodbye, went out on the back porch, lit myself a cigar and said "man...if Dan from 5 years ago could see me now. i am so in love with where i am and who i've become"
...so yea, that pretty much sums up what i've done in the last 5 years.
...5 years...
what about you?