daily wisdom-stalking neil gaiman
If I were going to stalk a celebrity I think it would be Neil Gaiman. I mean he is nice to look at, okay if you dig that lanky unwashed in need of a hair cut thing like I do. But hear me out. It would be so much better than stalking the average celebrity. I mean there isn’t much competition. All his other stalkers are overweight dorky comic book fans, okay so am I, but I’m a female overweight dory comic book fan which is completely different. Any way comic book dorks just aren’t the competitive type, high school gym showed us that. Just carry around a dodge ball, the mere sight of it will send them running for the sanctuary of mom’s basement. Also it wouldn’t take much effort on the whole, sneaking into exclusive drinking/dancing/funny looking cuisine establishments, front. Seriously when was the last time you saw Neil Gaiman in a tabloid lunching with Lindsey Lohan or Prince William. Which leads us to another perk, No paparazzi, seriously who needs the fuckers anyway, what assholes, they give us honest stalkers a bad name. No paparazzi also means said stalked individual is more likely to get the mail/walk the dog in their underwear. Also his career as an author means book signings and book signings means bookshops. So not only do you get to hang out in the bookshop which also usually involves coffee, which is so much better then crouching behind the dumpster of shea’ la vomit. This also frees up time to pick up a fresh book without having to pause in the stalking. Lets face it sometimes stalking can be dull business. Sure watching someone sleep is interesting the first six or eight times but after that it kinda loses its appeal. So it’s nice to have a book about. Lastly there is not much likelihood of prosecution; first of all he travels a lot so you’re working in multiple jurisdictions. Second of all when the person stalking you is a woman half your age you’re not going to get much sympathy. Hell there are people who would pay for that kind of treatment and most of them are in the American justice/political system.