Movie time, yet again!
So, I've taken in a few obsucre movies, as I am wont to do. As always, my reviews and reccomendations, for those who care. "OSS 177: Cairo, the Den of Spies"
It's got a long, unwieldy name, to be sure. What is it? It's a spy parody movie, and it's from France.
"So," I asked the teenaged ticket booth guy at the Bijou, "If you were me, and you wanted to watch some funny spy stuff, would you see 'Burn After Reading,' or 'OSS 117' tonight?"
"Oh, 'OSS,' definitely," he answered. " 'Burn After Reading' isn't funny. Well, it's funny, but it's conventional funny. 'OSS' is foreign-funny. You know, it's funnier 'cause in other places they, like, 'get it.' You know? It's better."
"Okay," I said. "One for 'OSS'."
I have to say that teenaged ticket booth guy is a pretentious twerp. I want that on the record.
"OSS 117" was indeed funny. It wasn't "foreign-funny" as pretentious ticket booth twerp said. It was conventionally funny in a silly way. If you were a fan of "Get Smart" or "Austin Powers," then you would most likely enjoy "OSS 117." Rather than American or English, he is French. Beyond that, it's the same kind of Powersy double entendres and Agent 86-y blundering success. "Cairo, the Den of Spies" never delves into absurdist humor the way the Zucker-Abrams-Zucker films did, such as with "Top Secret" or "Spy Hard," but "OSS" still has its silly moments.
A large bit of the humor comes from culture shock, with a very enthnocentric French spy travelling to Cairo to find a missing English ally. He winds up tangling with jihadists, Nazis, arms smugglers, and rougue agents, and our protagonist manages to commit enough feaux pas to offend each and every one. (He does, however, sing well in Arabic.)
I got some good yuks for my bucks, so I was very pleased with it. The only real down side is that it's showing only in French with subtitles. Being an avid watcher of subtitled anime, I am not bothered at all by having to read my movies.
Upon further investigation, it seems that Jean Bruce's OSS 177 is a character with a long and storied history, similar to Ian Flemming's 007. But, like Woody Allen's "Casino Royale," "Cairo, Nest of Spies" is a parody of a character that was previously very serious. "Beowulf and Grendel"
I love Robert Zemeckis.
A long time ago, I saw a sort of steampunk interpretation of the classic epic poem. It featured Christopher Lambert wielding a sword. With visions of Scottish immortals dancing in my head, I thought I would be in for a treat when Trent and I rented it. Sadly, it turned out to suck serious ass.
Through a straw.
Then, in 2007, a 3-D CG festival of blood and lust came to the screen. There was artistic licence taken with the story, but Neil Gaiman managed to make it work. The promise of the legendary Geat on the big screen was made manifest in grand, epic style. It was a spectacle to behold.
I was in awe.
Now comes a movie put together a couple of years ago: "Beowulf and Grendel." It stars none other than Leonidas himself, Gerard Butler, in the heroic role. Grendel is portrayed in this movie as a Neanderthal-like being with fake foam-rubber muscles.
Gimme another straw.
Don't get me wrong, I can excuse low production values. But, aside from Butler, there really wasn't much that was great about this movie. Labert's version was a post-apocalyptic slashfest, and total schlock. The Ray Winstone version was a fable about the temptations of lust, power, and pride, and how they can come back to destroy us. The Gerard Butler version tries to be the latter, but winds up as schlock anyway. It could've been much more than it turned out to be, especially since Butler acted well as the hero and Stellan Skaarsgard portrayed a sympathetic Hrothgar who descends into depression and near-madness.
The primary ruiner of the movie was the whore-witch character. If she had remained on the periphery, might have been tolerable. But, she was in the middle of the whole movie. With her poor acting, unbelieveable writing, and gratuitous sex scenes (including one with Grendel) that made no sense in the context of the film, "Beowulf and Grendel" can trace most of its problems directly to her. Her acting was flat and she delivered dialogue as if she were reciting a meaningless string of words, rather than expressing any real ideas. Of course, those ideas were seldom worth expressing, since a lot of her motivations and reactions made no sense.
There was a major subplot about a Celtic missionary who promises salvation from Grendel to those villagers who convert to Christianity. There's a message in there somewhere about desperate people who will abandon old beliefs for new promises in the face of adversity. However, it's not poignient enough to make a difference in the overall sucktitude of the video.
I can't believe I payed nine dollars for this crap at CD Exchange. I guess *this* is why it was impossible to find for rent. No matter. Back to CD Exchange it will go, to be traded in for a better movie.