I feel so unwanted...
Why do I get these feelings of not being wanted?
I know I am...I know my friends love me, but I sometimes wonder if I really needed them would they be there for me? I feel the same way about relationships...I'm not sure if I want to be in one, but yet at the same time I know that without those kinds of feelings in my life I feel empty and alone.
One of my greatest dreams is to have children, have a family I can call my own and be loved. I feel the need to have that in my life. SOOOOOO many people tell me that I'm too young to worry about this, but the thing is, I want to have these things while I'm young to enjoy them to the fullest and live my life. If I don't start to live my life now? When? That's the problem with today's society, so many standards of what people are supposed to do, and so little of what our hearts tell us to do.
I've been rejected so many times I'm beginning to lose faith in people. Friends aren't a problem...friends are forever (at least I hope!), but what I'm craving right now is more than just friends I'm craving...dare I say it? Love!
Love is something that is unkown and scary, it is something that a lot of people discourage me from having. SOunds funny I know, but they always tell me "you're too young." I'm not too young...I'm just the right age. I just wish for one moment that I could have that unattainable thing. Even if it is just for a moment...that moment will be enough. I'm just sick and tired of life passing me by. The thing is I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to make that first move, I'm afraid to show interest in anyone for fear they'll turn to me and say the invevitable. It's something in life we all deal with. This I know. Love is a two way street, you can't suddenly turn the sign around and make it all your own, you have to wait your turn to get onto the street, stay behind the other's in front of you and watch the rest of them pass you by on the other side hoping someone will take notice. Love has to be going both ways or you'll end up with a traffic jam and a huge accident. (Great analogy right?)
I'm just not even going to think about it anymore. I'm through. I've had nothing but bad luck. Maybe oneday serendipity will smile upon me and make things right with the world. But until that day...I'm just little ol' lonley me, looking for a warm body to snuggle up to for a little spurt of caring comfort. Otherwords: Whore.
the...end
I know I am...I know my friends love me, but I sometimes wonder if I really needed them would they be there for me? I feel the same way about relationships...I'm not sure if I want to be in one, but yet at the same time I know that without those kinds of feelings in my life I feel empty and alone.
One of my greatest dreams is to have children, have a family I can call my own and be loved. I feel the need to have that in my life. SOOOOOO many people tell me that I'm too young to worry about this, but the thing is, I want to have these things while I'm young to enjoy them to the fullest and live my life. If I don't start to live my life now? When? That's the problem with today's society, so many standards of what people are supposed to do, and so little of what our hearts tell us to do.
I've been rejected so many times I'm beginning to lose faith in people. Friends aren't a problem...friends are forever (at least I hope!), but what I'm craving right now is more than just friends I'm craving...dare I say it? Love!
Love is something that is unkown and scary, it is something that a lot of people discourage me from having. SOunds funny I know, but they always tell me "you're too young." I'm not too young...I'm just the right age. I just wish for one moment that I could have that unattainable thing. Even if it is just for a moment...that moment will be enough. I'm just sick and tired of life passing me by. The thing is I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to make that first move, I'm afraid to show interest in anyone for fear they'll turn to me and say the invevitable. It's something in life we all deal with. This I know. Love is a two way street, you can't suddenly turn the sign around and make it all your own, you have to wait your turn to get onto the street, stay behind the other's in front of you and watch the rest of them pass you by on the other side hoping someone will take notice. Love has to be going both ways or you'll end up with a traffic jam and a huge accident. (Great analogy right?)
I'm just not even going to think about it anymore. I'm through. I've had nothing but bad luck. Maybe oneday serendipity will smile upon me and make things right with the world. But until that day...I'm just little ol' lonley me, looking for a warm body to snuggle up to for a little spurt of caring comfort. Otherwords: Whore.
the...end