Me and My Computer...
Computer: Please, oh, please, put me out of my misery.
Me: Shut up. I have to pay off my car insurance next month, I can't afford another one of you.
Computer: Please have mercy. My disks are full and my system is worn. I can't take much more of this!
Me: Nonsense. You're doing fine. Well, close enough, anyways.
Computer: It hurts! It hurts!
Me: Well, you're my only real connection to the outside world when I'm at home, and I can't afford to lose you, so forget it.
Computer: But please ma'am, you must understand. I was at the beck and call of your mother for so long, and she treated me so badly. You must understand. Please let me rest in peace!
Me: Although I understand and truly do sympathize with your point of view I'm afraid my legs are tied. It'll be a few months at the very least before I am able to set you free, and that's being optimistic. Anyways, I've gotten you a new keyboard and monitor. What else do you want?
Computer: But my disks are too full and it hurts me so to think. Your demands are, at times, unreasonable for a computer of my age. Couldn't the car insurance wait a few months?
Me: Absolutely not. I've been saving that money for the insurance payment for a long time now and may never have it again. It's out of the question.
Computer: Why you little bitch. I shall proceed to die on you quite often and process as slowly as possible until you are forced to cooperate with my demands.
Me: So be it, but you are the slave and I the master. This is not over.
Me: Shut up. I have to pay off my car insurance next month, I can't afford another one of you.
Computer: Please have mercy. My disks are full and my system is worn. I can't take much more of this!
Me: Nonsense. You're doing fine. Well, close enough, anyways.
Computer: It hurts! It hurts!
Me: Well, you're my only real connection to the outside world when I'm at home, and I can't afford to lose you, so forget it.
Computer: But please ma'am, you must understand. I was at the beck and call of your mother for so long, and she treated me so badly. You must understand. Please let me rest in peace!
Me: Although I understand and truly do sympathize with your point of view I'm afraid my legs are tied. It'll be a few months at the very least before I am able to set you free, and that's being optimistic. Anyways, I've gotten you a new keyboard and monitor. What else do you want?
Computer: But my disks are too full and it hurts me so to think. Your demands are, at times, unreasonable for a computer of my age. Couldn't the car insurance wait a few months?
Me: Absolutely not. I've been saving that money for the insurance payment for a long time now and may never have it again. It's out of the question.
Computer: Why you little bitch. I shall proceed to die on you quite often and process as slowly as possible until you are forced to cooperate with my demands.
Me: So be it, but you are the slave and I the master. This is not over.