women we haven't met yet.
i've always had this insecurity about myself where i felt as if i was never good enough for anybody. i seem to be convinced that i'm not what other people think i am. i seem to pull away everytime i get attatched to somebody. i don't want to get involved again yet at the same time i do. i'm so confused and frusturated about things. last night, i couldn't even sleep because i was too preoccupied with trying to figure myself out. i didn't end up falling asleep untill 4. i'm reallyreally tired. i had to wake up at 10 because of prielums and i had to be on time. i fell asleep on the floor waiting for my mum to give me money for the bus. i like sleeping on the floor. it's comfy.
'tears of red and the pain that follows'
so i'm at home right now and i'm barely awake. i have my sleeping patterns so messed up. i go to bed at 3 o'clock and i don't wake up untill 3 in the afternoon. it's a bad habit to get into. i don't eat my meals when i'm supposed to, i just eat them at all different times throughout the day. i don't end up eating dinner untill 12 o'clock. i'm trying to change it but it isn't working so far due to the fact that i can't get any sleep. i really wish i didn't spend so much time analyzing and thinking about things. it seems like that's all i've been doing as of late. i'm just having a hard time getting stuff straight. sigh