The seesaw
I figured out years ago that my reading/writing etc habits at home were indicative of how I felt at work.
In particular, I discovered that if I just wanted to spend my off time taking stuff in -- reading, in particular -- it meant that I was at least saturated at work with the need to produce/write/design/plan. My need to produce visible output at work translated into a need to be intellectually passive at home.
Similarly, if I was bored at work (often through my deliberate doing), I found that my desire to blog and write and the like at home was greatly increased. I needed an overall balance between input and output, and just naturally set about achieving it without thinking about it.
But output isn't a monolithic endeavor; it is a continuum. And I find that sometimes I like to try (and usually fail) to be pithy, sometimes I like to rail against any number of things, sometimes I like to engage in dialog, and sometimes I like to write. The latter is my fondest desire, and the rarest state for me. The "why" for that could fill an entire blog post, but in a nutshell I tend to reach too high, then be understandably disappointed with my efforts. This is a curse I fight every day. 99% of days I lose.
I'm feeling a little writey right now, and I'd hate to waste that. So console yourself for a while; you won't have overt reason to ask yourself "why am I still following this guy again?" for a little while.
In the interim, I wish you involuntary nervous smiles, moments of shared warmth, moments of burning justifiable loathing, and the feel of warm soapy hands in inappropriate places.
In particular, I discovered that if I just wanted to spend my off time taking stuff in -- reading, in particular -- it meant that I was at least saturated at work with the need to produce/write/design/plan. My need to produce visible output at work translated into a need to be intellectually passive at home.
Similarly, if I was bored at work (often through my deliberate doing), I found that my desire to blog and write and the like at home was greatly increased. I needed an overall balance between input and output, and just naturally set about achieving it without thinking about it.
But output isn't a monolithic endeavor; it is a continuum. And I find that sometimes I like to try (and usually fail) to be pithy, sometimes I like to rail against any number of things, sometimes I like to engage in dialog, and sometimes I like to write. The latter is my fondest desire, and the rarest state for me. The "why" for that could fill an entire blog post, but in a nutshell I tend to reach too high, then be understandably disappointed with my efforts. This is a curse I fight every day. 99% of days I lose.
I'm feeling a little writey right now, and I'd hate to waste that. So console yourself for a while; you won't have overt reason to ask yourself "why am I still following this guy again?" for a little while.
In the interim, I wish you involuntary nervous smiles, moments of shared warmth, moments of burning justifiable loathing, and the feel of warm soapy hands in inappropriate places.