(Untitled)
Some people worry that one day they will wakeup and not recognize themselves.
I worry that someday I will wakeup and truly see myself for the first time and hate me
I worry that someday I will wakeup and truly see myself for the first time and hate me
yes, i understand the frustration of your second to last journal entry and if you wanna kick my ass for even commenting on your lj again i understand that as well. Despite all this i read your last livejournal and i could not help but to push the anger and bitterness away that i had been feeling. you had stated that you fear "waking up looking in the mirror and hating what you are or had become." cant remember which one it was but there it is. But just dont think that your the first one to ever feel this or even think it in fact that is why i had been trying to get a hold of you, and truly i apologize if i went about that the wrong way or even by doing it at all. but unbelievably i had been feeling the same things as you expressed in your entry. the thing was i wanted passion in my life i wanted that great love and that extraordinary life as well. only thing was i hated myself beforehand, i had seen what i truly was and needless to say i was not pleased. i knew i had to be different and then came that second question how do i change i need to be something greater lead a better life and then i realized what i needed i needed passion. and i had missed it. so i began to think of things that i had had that were passionate and i came up with you. i just figured maybe i could reclaim that passion with you. again i apologize that was selfish of me not to consider the time i had stomped on you and your feelings. i guess what im trying to say is that i understand where your coming from and im sorry all at once. and to tell you that, that second time i wanted to give it a shot you know when we went to old town and that i never stopped thinking about you not even after we broke up the first time ive always thought about you. im an asshole and i guess ill never see you or speak to you again and i have to accept that because its my fault and i cant take it back no matter how much i want to so... goodbye victoria
yours truly,
james
p.s.
i do love you ...
just took me to damn long to realize it
sorry
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