(no subject)
haven't updated in forever
my bad
i spoke with stephen
he doesn't like me
well he likes me a lot as a friend
oh the joy
that kinda killed me
but i wasn't really surprised... everyone thinks i took it really well... and they're right i did... i didn't kill myself or anything... so i haven't seen stephen since last sunday... i dont even know how i'm going to feel when i see him.. probably nothing... it's not like i ever reallly did... i'm talking about like butterflies in the stomach sorta thing... never really did... which is kind of a bummer...but oh well ya know... we'll see... maybe sparks will fly.. for me at least... i kinda hope that i dont like him anymore when i see him... it's hard to say... like i still like him... but if he doesn't like me i dont know... hasn't stopped me in the past... actually it has... that's all that's ever really stoped me in the past... gosh why cant he just like me... ugh oh well being friends is better than nothing i guess... ugh
and then there's justin... i seriously can not start liking him again... that simply won't work.... mostly because he does not like me like that... as a friend... that's all really... ugh... but they're both just so nice... man this kills me... jezz now i'm holden.... lame
crew's alright.... hard work
but it's whatever
something to do
but now i dont have anytime... which blows right?
yeah
relient k concert went well
stephen was sick and couldn't come
i'm out at least $44 which sucks
and i dont even know if dale needs gas money
he might be out of luck though
i might be out $88 though if chris doesn't pay for dale and trisha's tickets... like i hope he does.. but ugh
it's just a pain
i'm not going to worry about it...
i'm just gonna owe dad for a while
that's all
and like what's new... that's not
sleeping in the morning has become impossible... everyone is so loud in the morning... i get an hour of interrupted sleep every morning which leaves me feeling groggy and bad
there's aren't any doors.. and my bed is covered in clothes... so i propped up ethan's door... but that really doesn't work very well
it just sucks
so i wasn't feeling depressed for a while
but then i was thinking too hard about how i wasn't feeling depressed and made myself depressed... which is all quite depressing...
i dont have an appointment with dr. klaus until like the 9th... that's in a long time.. stupid
but on the 2nd i have an appointment with the medication people
oh joy
i kinda like want some
but then its like ugh i dont
its too much work
but in the long run i think it would make things easier
crew like helps but it just makes me tired all the time... which doesn't help much
omg
sooo bored
and tired
and it's friday
thank God
but then it'll be saturday
then it'll be sunday
then it'll be monday too soon
tonight i have crew and then probably leaving to go to the science extra credit with greg and emily... i should get my stuff together for all of that right when i get home... then maybe a nap... oh but probably not.. cause i'll have to eat and ughh everything.. but maybe we'll see how tired i am... i was much more tired yesterday... not as much today... which is good..... and then after i get home we can watch some lost.... we'll see i guess
and i have to write that report for christina.... cripes i have no clue about that... oh welll... i'll have to make due
then saturday
nothing in the day.. homework i suppose lol probably not though
i'll have to do english... and then study for spanish and science
and then at 7:30 i want to go to alyshia's play...
i'll see if anyone wants to go with me... we'll seei guess
but i'll go by myself if i have to... geez i haven't seen her in FOREVER i wish she could've come the concert... that would've been wonderful
and then sunday church... and then possibly a YEP meeting... but i have no clue... and then i wanna say there was something i need to do... ohhhh if i can go to the speech extra credit.... at that one place at 2:00
dang... that blows
and then youth group... sex talk
fun
actually
yes fun lol
yeah
i'll have to call courtney to ask if she's going tonight... she like had a friend so i dont know... pain in the butt
and that's my weekend... sounds lame
oh well
my bad
i spoke with stephen
he doesn't like me
well he likes me a lot as a friend
oh the joy
that kinda killed me
but i wasn't really surprised... everyone thinks i took it really well... and they're right i did... i didn't kill myself or anything... so i haven't seen stephen since last sunday... i dont even know how i'm going to feel when i see him.. probably nothing... it's not like i ever reallly did... i'm talking about like butterflies in the stomach sorta thing... never really did... which is kind of a bummer...but oh well ya know... we'll see... maybe sparks will fly.. for me at least... i kinda hope that i dont like him anymore when i see him... it's hard to say... like i still like him... but if he doesn't like me i dont know... hasn't stopped me in the past... actually it has... that's all that's ever really stoped me in the past... gosh why cant he just like me... ugh oh well being friends is better than nothing i guess... ugh
and then there's justin... i seriously can not start liking him again... that simply won't work.... mostly because he does not like me like that... as a friend... that's all really... ugh... but they're both just so nice... man this kills me... jezz now i'm holden.... lame
crew's alright.... hard work
but it's whatever
something to do
but now i dont have anytime... which blows right?
yeah
relient k concert went well
stephen was sick and couldn't come
i'm out at least $44 which sucks
and i dont even know if dale needs gas money
he might be out of luck though
i might be out $88 though if chris doesn't pay for dale and trisha's tickets... like i hope he does.. but ugh
it's just a pain
i'm not going to worry about it...
i'm just gonna owe dad for a while
that's all
and like what's new... that's not
sleeping in the morning has become impossible... everyone is so loud in the morning... i get an hour of interrupted sleep every morning which leaves me feeling groggy and bad
there's aren't any doors.. and my bed is covered in clothes... so i propped up ethan's door... but that really doesn't work very well
it just sucks
so i wasn't feeling depressed for a while
but then i was thinking too hard about how i wasn't feeling depressed and made myself depressed... which is all quite depressing...
i dont have an appointment with dr. klaus until like the 9th... that's in a long time.. stupid
but on the 2nd i have an appointment with the medication people
oh joy
i kinda like want some
but then its like ugh i dont
its too much work
but in the long run i think it would make things easier
crew like helps but it just makes me tired all the time... which doesn't help much
omg
sooo bored
and tired
and it's friday
thank God
but then it'll be saturday
then it'll be sunday
then it'll be monday too soon
tonight i have crew and then probably leaving to go to the science extra credit with greg and emily... i should get my stuff together for all of that right when i get home... then maybe a nap... oh but probably not.. cause i'll have to eat and ughh everything.. but maybe we'll see how tired i am... i was much more tired yesterday... not as much today... which is good..... and then after i get home we can watch some lost.... we'll see i guess
and i have to write that report for christina.... cripes i have no clue about that... oh welll... i'll have to make due
then saturday
nothing in the day.. homework i suppose lol probably not though
i'll have to do english... and then study for spanish and science
and then at 7:30 i want to go to alyshia's play...
i'll see if anyone wants to go with me... we'll seei guess
but i'll go by myself if i have to... geez i haven't seen her in FOREVER i wish she could've come the concert... that would've been wonderful
and then sunday church... and then possibly a YEP meeting... but i have no clue... and then i wanna say there was something i need to do... ohhhh if i can go to the speech extra credit.... at that one place at 2:00
dang... that blows
and then youth group... sex talk
fun
actually
yes fun lol
yeah
i'll have to call courtney to ask if she's going tonight... she like had a friend so i dont know... pain in the butt
and that's my weekend... sounds lame
oh well